Choosing a Date

Hi my best friend is having her wedding Sept 2021 (I am her maid of honor) and my wedding is Oct 2021 (she is my maid of honor). I think if she is a good friend then she will be happy with what makes you happy I think a month apart especially with 1.5 years in advance notice is fine to figure out what you need and plenty of time between both of your special days!

It really depends on what kind of person she is....


You should do what’s best for you. Sometimes financially a 2 year engagement is better, and especially with covid, things may not return to normalcy until 2023. Many states don’t even allow dancing right now.

Congratulations on your engagement! I think it's fine to have your wedding a month after your friend. I wouldn't wait too long to decide. Most venues have been booked through 2022 due to 2020/2021 postponements (Fall is especially popular).

Having your wedding a month after or before hers will not steal thunder. I wouldn't ask her blessing either because it's not her decision to make because everyone couple only gets 1 day. Pick the date you have in mind and go with it.

Figure out your budget, guest list, areas to focus on before you book a venue. But most are filling up fast so take a look at eventective.com for a venue. Be aware that all inclusive venues don't always save money because they often have 5 figure food/beverage minimums alone before any other expenses. A blank slate venue will offer more freedom on a budget.

I think it would be fine to have your wedding in October unless you have a ton of overlapping guests or plan on having a lot of the same people in your bridal party. If that's the case then I think it could be a lot to ask the same people to participate in two weddings a month part. Weddings aren't cheap especially for a bridesmaid. But I would definitely start looking for a venue soon as a lot of people have postponed their weddings due to Covid.

From experience, I think talking to her is a bad idea. Schedule your wedding. If she gets upset, that's on her. Everybody gets one (1) day.

All brides get 1 day not the month. Tell your friend your date. Either she’s going to understand or she won’t.

No one’s wedding should ‘block out’ a number of dates before and after the occasion during which friends and family cannot hold their own celebrations. The only date you are obliged not to host your wedding on is the same date as your friend. One month after her wedding is plenty of time. Similarly, just because you got engaged after your friend does not mean you are not allowed to get married before her – you get married when you want to get married!

Thanks so much for the advice everyone! I feel better about planning for October now

Dear Julie,


When we get married we will have been engaged a full 3 years. We got engaged in January of 2019 and are getting married 01/22/2022 and chose the date because I could remember it and my FH says he wants to be married before 29😭😂. Anyways, long engagements are great! You have a lot of time to plan; and your plan WILL change, 1,001 times, so it’s nice to have that breathing room.
After all of this horrible Covid stuff, I’m glad we decided to wait!
Aubrianna Abbema

Choose your date and roll with it. She has no say and there’s no need to ask.

I am just like you in the sense that I am constantly thinking about other people's opinions and thoughts and I really do want to make everyone happy. BUT this is your and your fiance's day and in the end nothing else matters. When it comes to your friend's day, both are important and you'll be able to separate each of your wedding days. They will both end up being amazing and it doesn't matter when they happen, as long as it's not the same day =) As for the actual day to choose, I'm doing fall 2022 (September to be exact) and I had the same thoughts I want COVID to be pretty much as over as possible so I went later in the year on purpose. Our anniversary is in September so it felt like a nice fit, plus we liked the weather. We ended up giving a few dates to our church that we liked and were going to choose whatever they had available. As it turns out our wedding date is the day before our dating anniversary!

In the end, pick a date that works for the two of you and don't worry about anyone else's thoughts.. it's no one else's place for opinions.