Choose a friend to dj or Pay??

I would make sure that you have a contract just like any other vendor if you do end up using him. Friend arrangements can get tricky, but I wouldn't totally blow it off since he offered and you like his work.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I totally agree about the contract.

We had one of our good friends DJ our wedding, but he has done it 1 million times as a side job so we knew that he would do a great job. We provided the playlist as well as a schedule of events and the things we wanted him to say for the entire evening. I think the key is to make sure that you can count on him otherwise I would love for someone that you know will be there. I don’t think people mean to leave others hanging but a lot of times friends at the last minute drop out

I would avoid using "friendors". It never turns out well. Unless you can contract his services, pay him & put down a deposit & sign a contract, I'd just hire a professional.

Pay! This way, you get what you want.

We had a friend DJ (more like Emcee because we put together the playlists ourselves) but we were confident because he's done a bunch of our friends' weddings and does it as a bit of a side hustle. We did pay him though.

So I had a friendor as my photography and videography and I gotta tell you all the advice the PPs are giving is valuable. It's been.. four or so months since getting married and still haven't had all my pics and deliverables yet and no contract was signed or anything :x I'm being understanding because mine was basically free and I'm actually not that eager to see it all aha. But I wish I had thought of a contract and other things too.

View Quoted Comment Thanks Cyndy. He is pretty dependable but you're right, sometimes people drop out although not intentional.

My sister & her husband hired a "friendor" for the DJ last year. It sounded like a semi-stressful experience beforehand due to communication issues, and I didn't think it was all that great at the reception. There wasn't much dancing going on. A good DJ is so crucial to keeping your reception flowing and getting people out on the dance floor. We hired a pro for ours (a company with multiple DJs, and a strong history at our reception venue) and had our final meeting with them yesterday. They have been great to work with and provided us with a portal to put in all of the information they would need, names, songs we like, etc., and talked with us about our crowd and so many things I never would have thought of. I'm looking forward to working with them!

We are having our friend DJ wedding and because he adores my FH he is doing it for $200 all night and throwing in all the extras for free, (lights, Monogram, etc.) Since he's our friend we do want him to join in on the fun bit also emcee and keep the party going all night. I am more confident in someone I know than a complete stranger since we have hit some bumps along the way when we were dealing with other vendors that tried to screw us over

If you're not paying this friend, or giving him something in exchange for his services, a contract isn't legally valid. If working for free, he'd simply be doing you a favor, or a "gratuitous promise" that can't be enforced.
If you are going to use this friend, make sure you have a backup for music and MC'ing. I thought about using an Ipod, but the idea of shuffling 80 guests, managing sound for the ceremony, and making announcements without a professional really stressed me out. We ended up with a DJ, but partially also because FH wanted one.

My best friend is doing our music, she has started a playlist of songs we want

I would not hire a friend for anything that was critical to the wedding. The risk you take is that if anything goes wrong with any other vendor, you can take legal action, report them to the BBB, etc. If anything goes wrong with a friendor, your day can be ruined and you can lose the friendship. So even if the friend were a professional, I would not do it.

Thank you all for your help. You have given me some valid points to discuss with my FH.

Carlette, I had a family member who wanted to play music and another family member who is a photographer, We declined their offer because we wanted our guests to enjoy our venue not work for us on our special day. We hired vendors at a reasonable costs for limited time and hired a photographer who knows alot of my family & friends, it worked out great!! I would suggest you do the same to avoid any issues that may arise.

Do they have experience ? I would consider it if on a budget .

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We were in this exact situation actually. My FH and I have a friend who does it (and is really good at it!) but we decided against it. I wouldn’t want him to drink, just like our hired DH wouldn’t drink, and I wouldn’t want him to feel like he’s missing out on having fun and being able to let loose. We just worked our budget and found a DJ we could afford. Our friend is our DJ for any pre-wedding events that we want music at though! Which is a good way to include him doing what he loves.

Do NOT hire a friend. Repeat: Do not hire a friend. I know you all love each other but with a non friend there will be the professional distance you all NEED. We had a friend be our officiant (hubby asked before clearing it with me) and although it went well, he treated it as less than a professional and caused me a lot of stress - then accused me of being emotional.

Tell him you would rather enjoy the day as a guest and don't bring it up again.