Chinese American Wedding

Hi! Good luck on figuring all that out on your own lol. I tried to get an American seamstress to make a Cheongsam for me for my wedding, and they were utterly hopeless. (one even wanted to rip apart a cheongsam I already had to use as a template. WTF!). My mom and I ended up having to have ours made overseas. Hopefully you will have more asians in your community who would actually know how to make the dress.

Does your FH have a sister or cousin that you could talk to or someone who recently got married? It would be hard to organize all of this yourself because there are so many traditions behind each event and gesture.

Good Luck!

We did a LOT of Chinese ceremonies last year. Usually, the tea ceremony was before, we did a reading that was translated into Mandarin or Cantonese by one of the family members or friends and read after I read it (I really like this....) and the dress change to a red dress for either the tea ceremony or at towards dessert at the reception. (I love the Lion Dance too, but I don't see that a lot!)

I have never had a couple choose to do their reception dinner family style, but that would be very cool; maybe the appetizers like that (big cool lazy susan......bye bye centerpiece) and then the rest as plated?

I know that Florentine Gardens has hosted several Chinese/American weddings that we officiated for; also the Hyatt in NYC, the Madison Hotel, in Morristown and the Englewood Women's Club (that requires an outside caterer,but it's really cute), and the Palace, in Somerset. I think that almost any good venue is going to be able to accommodate you.

I was a BM in a Chinese-American wedding. Dinner was served family style. There were some flowers and candles around lazy Susan, but not much. The main decor was around the room, or on specialty tables like cake and gift table. If you have food in the middle of the table, nobody really misses the centerpieces.

Also, the bride changed into a traditional Chinese red dress I think after cake cutting. Or anyway at some point during the evening. But it wasn't a random dress - it was a traditional Chinese dress.

If in NY I'm expecting in the Flushing area. If in NJ I would say around central Jersey. Our family and friends are pretty split up. =/

I'm only dong research right now because it doesn't seem like anybody want to really talk about it. I want to be as prepared as we can be so we aren't sitting ducks when the time comes.

I wanted to have some Chinese and some American traditions to combine both families and friends. I figure decor would be Chinese because it's the easiest way to tie everything together. Thats why I thought I Chinese venue would make sense.

Here's a great blog on the subject. Of course, you don't have to put in every element, just two or three. Do get a Chinese brocade dress for the tea ceremony. You must do the Tea Ceremony pouring tea for the parents. You can do a mix of American and Chinese foods or do a Chinese cocktail hour with lots of appetizers and dim sim and a traditional American sit down. Good luck.

http://blog.ourweddingday.com/10-Chinese-Wedding-Traditions-14172876

Do get your fiancé and his family to clarify this for you -- you need to know what they want and expect if you're to not cause offense. I married a Chinese-American myself, and his family actually isn't that traditional -- we ended up having a regular American-style wedding, 'cause neither he nor his family wanted a tea ceremony, or me in a red dress, or anything like that.

Well, when we got engaged. I do remember my FH saying that his parents told him. "One of the first things you guys have to decided is if you are having an American wedding or a Chinese one." So..

I just edited my post because another... complication came up. I'm wondering if it's acceptable for a Chinese wedding to be on a Sunday. Of if that's not ok because it tends to run late and people have to go to work the next day. Any thoughts?

I'm in the same boat as you were (I see here that you've been married a year).

Just wondering how everything turned out. Any advice for someone who is also marrying a chinese guy?

Try the company East Meets Dress. They make qipaos in Eastern and Western fabrics. My sister chose the white lace qipao to honor both cultures just after she got engaged (and after I hunted the internet for it!). Good luck with finding information in the libraries: I found only one book at the New York Public Library and only one juvenile book (about China as a whole) at my local library, which gave a very blanket look at Chinese weddings and the traditional thinking behind it. Comb through Google and do multiple searches. Stuff does come up, and I made a document compilation of articles and images from that as a source of inspiration. Good luck on your search!

View Quoted Comment I know a couple of people in my family who did both. They had two dresses and two ceremonies. I'll probably skip the Chinese stuff myself.