Kate
Dedicated May 2022

Children Wording on rsvp - not the usual question

Kate, on November 18, 2021 at 10:30 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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So I’m wondering if anyone has any advice on this… I am having a wedding that allows children. I was torn on doing this but I’m like the aunty of the world and I couldn’t imagine not allowing some of the kids of my friends not come, but because of that I have to allow everyone to bring their kids. My problem: how do I explain to people that if their kid is under the age of 12 they are getting a kids entreé? Or do I have to allow them to pick if they want to give their kid a steak or chicken? My wedding is a bit on the fancier side and I really do not want to pay for about 60 kids under 12 to have steak. If I have to allow it, I guess I will but goodness gracious it seems expensive.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on November 20, 2021 at 12:56 PM
  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
    • Flag

    This might not be the right way, but I would just have that as an option next to your beef and chicken and put something along the lines of (12 and under) small after.

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  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    I would say something like "children 12 and under will receive the kids entree. Please make your selections for everyone over 12 years of age". I can't imagine parents having a problem with that. Most kids wouldn't enjoy or eat the entrees you'll be serving so why waste money on it?
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I agree with Jessi, to just have the options listed as "beef, chicken, children's meal (chicken fingers and fries)" or whatever the kid's meal is.
    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted September 2021
    Marianne ·
    • Flag

    Are you giving the adults the option to choose their entrees? If so, I'd just add kids entrée as an option, like:

    [ ] chicken

    [ ] steak

    [ ] children's entrée (12 and under)

    If you're not giving adults an option, I'd do:

    [ ] adult entrée

    [ ] child entrée (12 and under)

    Either way should be clear for guests to specify how many entrées for children to specify Smiley smile

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  • Kate
    Dedicated May 2022
    Kate ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Yes adults will be able to choose chicken or steak
    • Reply
  • Allaura
    Dedicated November 2022
    Allaura ·
    • Flag
    So my plan is to include it with the meal options as part of the RSVP.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    I think you're well within your hosting rights to designate a meal for children with a reasonable age cutoff, like 12. But I also know there will be parents who think their children would prefer an adult entree and select that option. So I think you should decide ahead of time how to address those RSVPs on a case by case basis. Certainly some 12-year-olds have bigger appetites and more sophisticated palates.

    The good news, I think, is that that will end up being the exception and not the rule.

    • Reply
  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with Maggie. Some kids have bigger appetites, and their parents may want to select an adult option for them.

    It might help if you list what the children's entree is, so the parents have an idea of what to expect.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Be very explicit with meal choices. Beef vs chicken vs vegan vs children’s tells you nothing. List that you are having Prime rib or NY Strip vs Rosemary baked chicken breast vs Chicken tenders for guests 12 and under. It’s very frustrating trying to figure out based on incredibly vague options what to choose. For example, someone may normally be a beef eater but they won’t touch short ribs or a similar item and there is no way to know without full details. On WW I have noticed that the majority discourage being explicit with the reasoning that your guests don’t need to know, but part of being a good host is making sure guests are informed and happy with their choices to prevent waste.
    • Reply
  • Kate
    Dedicated May 2022
    Kate ·
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    I hear ya on this, unfortunately I might not have a choice because our vendor doesn’t allow individual tastings and we have to wait till February to figure out what we are going to serve because that’s when they do their big wedding tasting event. It’s not ideal for me in the least but I can’t risk invites not being mailed on time either.
    • Reply
  • Kate
    Dedicated May 2022
    Kate ·
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    Yeah, unfortunately I don’t know if I’ll be able to because our vendor doesn’t do their tasting event till February. That’s why I have to leave it kind of generic for now. But based on what people are saying, if a parent decides to give their kid steak I have to go with it.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    That is so weird and inconvenient that they wait until last minute for a tasting. What happens if the food is not to your liking at the tasting? Too late at that point to do anything. Seeing that your date is end of May, you have plenty of time because invites don’t go out before 6-8 weeks.
    • Reply
  • Kate
    Dedicated May 2022
    Kate ·
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    Our wedding is actually May 13th, and we have to have final guest count 2 weeks before the wedding. They haven’t even told when in February the tasting is, which makes me super nervous because I travel a ton for work so there’s a chance that I could miss it and have to just send the fiancé and someone else to go in my place.
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated September 2021
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    Our venue did the tasting about a month before. It was too close for us personally, but it seems to be fairly standard, unfortunately.

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I think this suggestion is solid!

    I don't recommend being super explicit with menu items, because it doesn't allow for your caterer to make substitutions based on availability of ingredients. However, I do think it's good to have a section or checkbox for guests can state dietary restrictions. We did that and I just followed up with guests if there were any concerns.

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