Children at wedding reception

What should be my cut off age?

--Each kid is different so don't do this

What wording should l use on the invitations?

--The bride and groom have reserved 2 seats in your honor

Should I expect guest not show up because of this?

--YES you should.

If they don't want to be interrupted by their child, they'll leave them home with a sitter. They're adults! Let them decide.

We made our cut off age 21, which also helped because we're gonna have a lot of alcohol at this shindig and it'll make it a little easier on the bar staff.

Don't put it on the invitations. Just address your invitations to whomever is invited (ie, Mr and Mrs Smith versus The Smith Family). If you get questions about that, just say your venue can't accommodate children.

Some guests will not come because of this. It's lame but it is what it is.

Couple things to consider before you go posting "adult only reception" everywhere.

Are you having FGs/RBs (of child ages)? If so, it would very rude to have someone pick them up after the ceremony like they were just props for pictures. Also, if you let them be at the reception, you can't use the words "adult only" anywhere...cause that would be rude to guests who have kids.

Do you have a lot of OOT guests that have kids? If so, its MUCH harder for an OOT guest to come to a wedding without their kids than it would be for an in-town guest.

Also, we had about 5 kids at our wedding, and all the parents of the kids still had a GREAT time. I consider weddings to be somewhat of a family occasion (why can't a child experience a wedding, but they can experience a funeral?)

"If they don't want to be interrupted by their child, they'll leave them home with a sitter. They're adults! Let them decide. "---totally agree with this line!! And why I really hate the words "adult only reception", if they really want to have a "kid free" night then they will get a sitter for their kids. By dictating to them its "adult only", you'll basically telling your guests they must get a sitter (which isn't cheap) AND still give you a nice wedding check or otherwise, don't come to our wedding.

We didn't invite every kid of every guest, we kept it at family kids only. (most were OOT anyway)

Lol at the " you can drop your kid off at the sisters to go to the club." Ain't that true! I'm with you. I'm not sure how to do it either. I think you can definitely expect certain guest to not come because of that. Maybe 18+ idk :/

Cut off ages are no Bueno because they split up children in families, and they are rather pointless. You may have an 8 year old who is far more mature and better behaved than an 11 year old but 10 is your cutoff age so 8 year old can suck it. Not nice. Kids or no kids simply works better. Or you can invite based on who you know-like nieces and nephews can come but college friends kids can't.

If it's an adult only wedding, I'd make the cut-off age 21. If you're serving alcohol, it will make your bartender's job much easier.

How do you go about letting people know? Etiquette says that you send a formal invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Jones or Mr. Jones and Guest or Ms. Smith and Guest. You do not add "family". Then, on the RSVP card that will be filled out by the recipient and returned to you, you have a printed line that says, "____ seats have been reserved in your honor." You, the host/hostess, fill in the number of seats you've reserved for them -- typically, that's two. Then, the recipient of that invitation will check off "declines" or "accepts". If the invited guest crosses out your number two and bulks the number up to three or four to include his/her children, you must contact them and let them know that only two seats have been reserved in their honor.

At that point, you may get some pushback. You'll probably hear every excuse available, but if you want an adult only wedding, stick to your guns. You don't have to get emotional, and you don't have to tell your guests that you'll think about it and get back to them. You simply say, "Oh, if attending our wedding isn't possible, we certainly understand and know that you'll be with us in spirit." Remember, these same people would probably never approach a wealthy boss, potential client, or the host of a very selective formal dinner and say, "We're bringing our kids. That's not a problem, is it?". Why wouldn't they do it? Because they know how to read an invitation, and beyond that, they know their kids weren't invited to an adult event.

I absolutely believe you are entitled to host your adult-only wedding. If people get bent out of shape because they can't bring their kids, then they need to accept reality. Parenthood changes things -- lots of things. One of those things is being able to socialize with the freedom of a pair of butterflies.

An appropriate cut-off age would be either 18 or 21, excluding children in the bridal party (if any). Make clear on your invitations the number of guests invited (maybe list the names on rsvps?) and you can also add something to your wedding website. You should expect some guests to not come if they can't find/ don't want to find a babysitter

Don't try to frame it as wanting people to enjoy themselves. People enjoy the company of their children. And when they want a night off, they make plans and book a sitter; they don't just wait for someone to get married and not invite kids.

You are absolutely entitled to an adults only wedding. That is 100% ok. But it really annoys me when people suggest they are doing this a service to parents. Especially since parents are more than capable of booking a sitter if they think they'll have a better time that way.

It's okay to want what you want, just own your choices. If people do decide not to come, that choice is theirs.

My questions are .... What should be my cut off age?

Well, anyone under 18 is a child but I'd make the cut off age 21 if you're serving alcohol.

What wording should l use on the invitations?

You shouldn't state it. But when addressing them only address them to they people who are invited. And if you're really nervous, you could do a _ out of _ guests on your rsvps. I did that because I was worried about family members inviting a bunch of random people.

Should I expect guest not show up because of this?

Yes, you should, you're 100% entitled to an adult only wedding but some guests especially OOT guests may not have a sitter they can rely on.

21 and up. My Mom's family has been doing adult only, since she was a kid. Hubby's family has been doing it for awhile, too. Our wedding ended at 11:30 PM; I think the entrée was served around 9:00 PM. Pricing was the same for 13 and up - $$$. The venue had the right to ask for photo ID of every guest, for every drink ordered, if we had invited guests under the legal age. Nope ...

Only 2 couples, of 250 guests had an issue with it. Both had their save the dates 10 months before. It's also extremely common around here, to have adult only weddings. One couple even has a nanny. We had a fabulous time without them!

We have had to hire a babysitter to be on site so that I do not have a crying 3 month old and 1 year old at our ceremony (both belong to the same couple). I am NOT happy with this added expense.

We made our cut off 21. State adults only on your website, but on the invites just list those invited.

People may not show up, but giving them advance notice will allow them to make arrangements.

Okay, first of all, it's perfectly acceptable to have an adult-only wedding, but you do not put this on the invites. When you put only the parents' names on the invitations, that should be their clue. You will get called to be asked if you'll make an exception for so and so's child. If you don't want to do it, then don't.

Second, don't ever tell a parent that you're not inviting their child because you want them to have a good time and dance without getting interrupted by their son/daughter. It's not your place to decide how other people have fun.

We're doing adults only because if everyone we are inviting brings their kids its 40 kids. (140 adults are being invited) to put that in perspective. If you have a wedding website it's okay to make a note on there that says, "as much as we love your children, we cannot accommodate them at this venue so we will be having an adults only wedding/reception." word of mouth works great too especially if you have family/friends that are understanding. my cousins with children are all for it and don't want to bring their kids either so it's been pretty easy breaking the news to them. the hard part is if you get people who write in on the RSVP that they're bringing their kid and you have to make "that" phone call. just remember that at the end of the day it's your wedding and you can have it however you want it.

We are hiring a baby sitter that day.. Only family allowed to bring kids

@gonnabe you're too kind! We are referring the families with kids to the hotel's preferred babysitter. Many are using it as a weekend away or bringing s family member to watch them that night. The addressing the envelops and numbering the rsvp cards is very important in this process beyond adding "adult only reception".

State that it is adults-only, but don't say it's because you want the parents to be able to relaxant have a good time. Lots of people would be perfectly fine with their children there. They should be accepting that YOU don't want them there, but don't word it like you're doing a favor to them. If your firm then there is less room to argue.

18 and up or 21 and up are both fine, but be clear that you are only inviting the parents. Teenagers are kind of a gray area and people have different ideas of what "adult" is. Be clear on who IS invited, so you don't have anyone bringing their 19-year-old "adult child".

Another option would be to hire a sitter for the wedding. Though some people don't like the idea of dropping their kids off with a stranger, at least there's another option for childcare.

We are not having kids at our wedding. Instead of making a cut-off age, we decided that we're only inviting the adults (parents). I asked both of our mothers to share this by word-of-mouth before the invitations went out, so it wouldn't be a surprise to anyone. It's impolite to make a note about who you're not inviting on the invitations. Instead, make sure the envelopes are addressed to just the adults. We're also using Wedding Wire's website RSVP system, which will only allow invited guests to RSVP.

Cut-off age totally depends on your family. I think it's better to cut guests by relationship, so only first cousins, but not their children, for example.

PP have given you good advice on how to indicate who is invited. You shouldn't put "no kids" on your invitation. Just address the invitation to the parents by name and put the number of seats reserved on the RSVP card. My cousin did this and she also sent an email to all our cousins who have children to let them know in advance. Some chose to attend, some didn't.

So yes, some people may not attend if you don't invite their children. In my experience, most parents don't mind if the children aren't invited, but some are more attached or unable to afford child care.

ETA: clarity