Children at the wedding?

We debated over a childless wedding too. Our small budget, some venues charging full price for children under 10, what do they do during the reception, what about picky eaters? Etc
Then it came down to family. Honestly I couldn't see our wedding day without the young ones there. Coupled with the fact half of our 150+ guest list are people from out of town. We want kids to be there. So we adjusted our plans to make it a little more work for ourselves and more affordable to see our vision come through for our future wedding.

If we had said no children there wasn't going to be exceptions other than for special needs. Not even a flower girl or ring bearer. It wouldn't have been fair to other families who left children at home per our request.

I totally see what you’re saying! I think there’s why I’m struggling. I think I would be weird with some of them there and not everyone. We are going to have games and stuff because it’s outdoors so I am just hoping it will be a fun event for them but also their parents.

We decided against children for ours. We have an open bar and decided parents can have a break from the little ones for a night. Plus it saves us so much money on chairs, food, drinks, screaming and crying, people having to leave early. If they can’t make it because they can’t bring their kids then that’s their choice.

If I were you I’d make a guest list that includes all of the kids and see how many it adds on, see if you’d be able to afford it and/or if your venue allows that many guests. If you can you should include them since it seems like you really want them there! I know for me if I included all of the kids it’d add on another 30 or so guests. I’d have to add more chairs for the ceremony, tables and chairs for reception, more food and whatnot. As much as i love all of the kids it was just too much for us.

We have two flower girls, 8 and 4, and a ring barer, 5 (our cousins' children from both sides). We will also be providing babysitting for my two 2 year old nieces (sister's and cousin's kids) and my then to be 2 month old niece. The babysitting will be held at the venue.

The babysitter is a family friend's daughter who babysat the 8 year old at my sister's wedding in 2012, so we are already familiar with her wedding day babysitting services. Her mother actually told us that when she heard that I was engaged, she immediately volunteered her services! LOL!

I would suggest that if you do have children at your wedding, it's a convenient idea to hire a sitter and set aside a room for the younger children to play or unwind from the rest of the crowd. If necessary, hire an extra sitter just to attend to infants. This way, the parents get to have a great time without their kids and are still close enough to check on them. Younger children may not be "wedding ready," so giving them a place to play and socialize is good for them too!

We included kids. When we said we wanted to get married with all of our loved ones there, we meant ALL of our loved ones, regardless of age. Our venue offered a lower price for kids meals, but we gave them the option of choosing the adult meal too, and quite a few did. Most of the kids were older, but there were a couple of toddlers that just tore up the dance floor. Everyone had a great time, and the kids were kept well under control while still allowing their parents to have fun.

There was a post on here a few months back from a bride that had children at her wedding and it was a nightmare. She correctly put the blame on the parents. So that's something to keep in mind. If you have any parents who you think will ignore their children over the course of the evening, maybe leave them out.

We are having children at our wedding but that is for many reasons. The main one's being that our venue doesn't charge anyone under 17 as an adult and many of our friends and family (including myself and 2 bridesmaids) have children also. That being said, we are also going to look into having an option of a sitter for those with small children for the evening. We are having a late evening wedding (ceremony starts at 6:30pm) so it will be a bit late for young children but we still want their parents to have a good time. We would not pay for these services, however, I would research a few options and include them in our invitations to our friends and family with small children simply as an option but not requirement. I honestly don't care if a baby cries during our ceremony, an adult can make just as big of a scene. It's truly up to each couple what they are comfortable with and what your budget allows.

We invited 245 people (186 adults, 59 kids). Out of that, our final RSVP count is 172 (140 adults, 32 kids). Those kids range in age from infant to 17. In my area/circle, kid free weddings didn't become a thing until recently. So, it's normal for kids to be invited. They are fun to watch on the dance floor too. Also, I'm just at that age where EVERYONE has kids. BUT, there is nothing wrong with having a kid free wedding. As a parent myself, I've never been offended about being invited to a kid free wedding. Just know that not all parents can make child care arrangements, so some will have to decline. If you decide to go kid free, make sure you are clear on your invitations that it will be adults only, and you shouldn't have too many issues.

I highly recommend NOT having children at the wedding.

Long Message:

Someone suggested I buy coloring books and crayons or do a kids table. I may do the first thing, but I had always planned to do strategic seating. Everyone who is a parent will be seated at tables near other parents and near the door exit doors. I’m even arranging the seats in a certain order so the walkway for the caterer isn’t obstructed.

Basically, I decided that immediate family (siblings and two first cousins only). Unfortunately, that’s 15 kids from our siblings alone. My fiancé’s siblings have 3-4 a piece (bless their hearts...) Mine have two a piece. My two first cousins have 3 a piece. My younger siblings are still teenagers. Then, our vocalist has a baby and a friend is bringing her NEWBORN. That’s 27 MINORS!!!

I’m hoping that number shrinks TREMENDOUSLY as RSVPs come in, and some parents won’t bring their kids. I’m not happy about a fraction of the guest list being children, but we want our siblings’ and their families there. To be fair, 8 of those children will be working, 6 or 7 are teenagers, and the rest will be with their parents the entire time.

View Quoted Comment I’d prefer to not have any either, but our older siblings (one is from out of state) have a lot of children. We have large families, so I had to oblige. Plus my siblings are teenagers.

We are not having children under 15. The only exception is our FG and RB, who are not staying the whole reception. If we included children, our wedding would add about 40 more people. I live kids, but my friends who are parents look at it like a date night for them. My parents are providing a group babysitting situation for anyone who'd like that.

We decided no children for ours, except for our ring bearer and flower girl and they're getting the boot (per the parents) after dinner. Our reception can only hold so many people and if we added kids, who would be charged full price, there'd never be enough room for adult family and friends that we'd really want there. Most of our family and friends that we've chatted with are excited it's adult only so we're not too worried about ruffling any feathers, and if they choose not to come because their kids can't then that's their choice.

We chose to have a childless wedding for a couple of reasons. One was budget. Most venues don't care if you are 60 or 6, the cost is the same. I would also take into consideration your venue. We are getting married on a vineyard, so I did not think having children there was completely appropriate. One of my main reasons for not wanting to invite children, however, is almost every wedding I have been to where there are kids, one or more of them ends up having a melt down during the ceremony or reception; and that was a risk I did not want to take. They also tend to take up a lot of space on the dance floor which could possibly keep your other guests from enjoying the reception.

I couldn't have my big day without children.
I love kids way too much, and the photos of dancing with them will be priceless.
I will be having a kids table for them to have coloring pages and little workpages to do.
We have a small budget, but I am making it work because I would regret having a childless wedding. Plus, some people would then not be able to come because they can't find the childcare, and that would make me sad!!!!
I've been to multiple wedding witg kids and I couldn't imagine it any other way

The only children that will be attending my wedding are my nieces. My cousin's and friend's children are not invited...I chose this for a few reasons....

-I have been to way too many weddings that children ruined because their parents don't know how to tell them no....or the parents have other people watch their kids while they drink and dance.

-I have to pay $15.00 per person over a specific number....and I am not paying $15.00 + catering expenses for kids to not eat their food.

-I do not want to pay extra to have entertainment for children.

-I do not have the patience....and I especially will not on that day.

So far pretty much everyone has taken advantage for a kid-free night. I had one person who tried to sneak their kid. and one person who had something rude to say.

View Quoted Comment Haha this is exactly why I’m having such a though time choosing! Ours is the same thing! And exactly our venue isn’t what I am worried about it’s all the added on expenses from chairs, tables, etc

View Quoted Comment I seems like that’s what I am going to have to do. Thanks for the idea!

View Quoted Comment We even thought about!m this! The thing about our family is is most of the “kids” are above the age of like 6 so I have seen them at weddings and I know that they like to run around and have fun but the reason I went against this is only because I have seen them at weddings where they didn’t need a sitter. It’s a great idea and if the kiddos were younger I definitely would do this! Thanks for the suggestion.

We aren't inviting a ton of people, and not a lot of kids. So we're inviting everybody. The thing is, we'd invite kids anyway. We have some friends and family with toddlers who are choosing to leave them at home, but I really want that to be a parent's choice, not mine. And if it's important enough for me to have someone at my wedding, I really don't want to put them in the position where they have to choose to stay home because I'm telling them they have to find a babysitter in order to come. That just doesn't work for some parents. And if I'm willing to tell someone that I want them but not their spawn, then odds are I don't really want them that badly.