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Sarah
Just Said Yes October 2020

Children at the wedding

Sarah, on January 27, 2020 at 3:09 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 19
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Hey everyone!! We are planning an ADULT ONLY wedding with the only exception being my little sister who will be 6 and my fiances niece who will only be 18 months old. I have a family member that is very upset that their child cannot come because they won't be able to get a sitter. It's a holiday weekend.. it's a cousin on my fiances side. NONE of my cousins are coming. NOT ONE. And this person is extremely upset with us and causing a fight with the family.. any advice?

19 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag
    She’ll get over it or she won’t attend. There’s not much you can do.
    • Reply
  • Jordan
    Expert June 2020
    Jordan ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry you are having to deal with that extra stress! I would just explain why you are only having adults at the wedding whether it is for your enjoyment, or the cost per child, or whatever the reasoning, and they should just need to accept it because it is you wedding not theirs. You should be able to have it however you would like to!

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  • Caitlin
    Dedicated April 2021
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    Its your wedding. dont even offer an explanation because youre not obligated to. id just say "come or dont" and leave it at that. ive seen many people do adult-only weddings and while it wouldnt be something id do, i understand the concept behind it. so go for it and whoever doesnt like it doesnt have to attend. not much you can do about it. good luck!
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I'd just tell her you're sorry and hope she can find a sitter. If not, she can't go.

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  • Kelsie
    Devoted March 2020
    Kelsie ·
    • Flag

    I would just talk with her and explain that you're not inviting anyone's kids. If she doesn't like it, then she doesn't have to come.

    • Reply
  • Shaina
    Expert October 2020
    Shaina ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, it is your wedding and if it is no children then they will have to accept that and move on. They will need to find a baby sitter. Between now and your wedding they has enough time time to figure out what that they are going to do.

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  • Eyonna
    Devoted May 2021
    Eyonna ·
    • Flag

    Agreed, either she will come or she won't. Its your wedding and your decision to not have kids at the wedding. Like PP said, she has plenty of time to find a sitter if she wants to come.

    • Reply
  • Adam
    Just Said Yes February 2020
    Adam ·
    • Flag

    Uninvite them?

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I can’t just do that haha it’s a family member. But she can certainly figure out accommodations.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    Well if she really wants to come she will find a sitter or her husband can stay home and watch the baby while she attends. Sitters are not going to horribly break the bank. I find often parents want events to be kid friendly so they do not have to pay for a sitter. Tell the family if they ask you that we cannot bend the rule for her because if you do then you need to for all. She can complain all she wants but as other pp's said nicely tell her you understand but this is a rule for all guests and it would be rude to make an exception for one so you hope she can find someone to watch her child and attend and if not then you understand if she cannot make it.

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  • Suzie
    Rockstar October 2020
    Suzie ·
    • Flag

    Stand your ground, that is what you decided, and it’s not fair to any other guests that find a sitter to accommodate her child. Your kids or wedding party kids are the exception. Not hers. This is what happens when you decide adults only. You will have to be comfortable with people not attending. I totally get it, we are also having adults only, but we are October, so haven’t encountered this yet. Politely say that you hope she can make arrangements to be there, but understand if she cannot attend.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    August 2021
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    Agree with Caytlyn, she will either come around or not show up at all (which I believe would be fine, she doesn't sound nice)

    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Expert December 2020
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    "I'm sure that in the XX months until the wedding you can make accommodations to find someone to watch the baby. If not, we will certainly miss you".

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Devoted March 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    I think you're doing just the right thing - it sounds like you've had a conversation with her and so far held firm in your decision to have an adults only wedding. See if there's any other root cause for the fight...aka is she just trying to vent to your MIL and now MIL is upset? (again, this really isn't any one else's business but) if so, just have your FH speak to the MIL and let her know you have spoken to the cousin. That should honestly be the end of it. If she is local to you or other family, y'all can make suggestions for her for another reliable sitter that may work for her, and if she truly wants to attend, 9 months is plenty of time before the wedding to find a sitter...otherwise she just sounds like she's being a little stubborn and wants to bring her kid, but we won't go there Smiley winking

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  • Allison
    Savvy October 2020
    Allison ·
    • Flag

    You do what you want. Its about you and your future husband. My parents went to weddings without me and I was never upset. You could even blame it on the wedding site. People think that weddings are for everyone. They should just be happy they were invited.

    • Reply
  • Nodyia
    Expert October 2020
    Nodyia ·
    • Flag

    Hey OCTOBER 2020 Bride I feel like they have more than enough time to find a babysitter and if they cant find one (in 9 months) then they should not attend...See you during the holidays family. What I learned planning my wedding is you cant please everyone.

    tenor.gif


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  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    • Flag

    We are also having no kids at our wedding. With more than 9 months until October 2020, if they can't find a sitter for one night, that is on them! I won't be upset with people for not showing up since children are not invited, as that is their decision. However, I am also not going to make exceptions! It is your wedding - do what you want to!

    • Reply
  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    I think it is fine to say that you cannot accommodate more children and the event will be primarily adults only. She's allowed to be upset about it, but she has the choice to not attend. Frankly if someone was creating this much drama I probably wouldn't want them at my wedding anyway.

    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated August 2020
    Morgan ·
    • Flag

    They don't need to come then. I am having an adult only wedding as well. If people are upset, let them be upset. You and your fiance are the ones paying for it, so it should be what you want.


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