Children at the reception

@Helena And as well you should respect the wishes of those who do want children at their wedding

Yes. As I said above. It's your right as host to have children at your wedding. It is also the right as a host to not have children. If someone chooses not to host children then you have respect that decision.

You can do adult only but you also can't hold it against people if they can't come because of childcare. I plan on hiring a babysitter for onsite help with the children.

@Heather S that is a brilliant idea .

I started off thinking I wouldn't invite kids but now we're only inviting children of family or close family friends, children we are close to and see often. You're totally in your right to not invite though, I wouldn't be offended personally if I was invited to a no kids wedding.

Maybe hire a babysitter to stay on location or at the blocked out hotel to watch people's kids for them? There's tons of services like that!

Can he quote some stats? If not, it's a visceral reaction.

Of course people will attend your wedding, regardless of the age limit (which you have every right to impose). Yeah, you'll get some RSVPs addressed to two adults who will just decide that their kids are coming (despite the fact that they are well aware that those kids aren't invited), and you may be faced with the unpleasant task of illuminating them, but that's weddings. Those same people, if they were invited a black tie event hosted by his or her boss, wouldn't think of adding their children to an RSVP. They can get a babysitter -- just like I did -- or they can decline -- just like I did.

My family has been hosting adult weddings for almost 50 years. Our wedding was 21 and up, which has been the norm, for almost all the weddings we've been invited to.

We've been invited to and attended 5 weddings, since our toddler was born; she wasn't invited to nor attended any of them. I wouldn't think of bringing her to a wedding, unless she was a flower girl. Then I'd be sure she was picked-up by a grandparent, at some point.

I'm doing a 21+ wedding and literally no one has had an issue with it. Just be sure to give people enough advance notice. 13 months is plenty of time to find a babysitter.

We are having 4 children at our wedding. Our 2 boys who are 6 and 11. Our niece who will be 13 months and my best friend's son who is 3. Her mil is unable to watch him and as they are flying from LA to Ottawa I couldn't say no. All of our local friends are good and understandz

We are having adults only, except the children in the wedding, which are my niece and nephews. FH doesn't have any children in his immediate family or we would've included them as well. We understand some OOT guests may decline if they can't find childcare, but that's something we decided we are okay with.

We are doing adults only except for my two nieces/flowergirls..who will honestly, probably go off to their own area and watch a movie on the Ipad after dinner.

This is mostly because our guests are young couples without children or adults with grown children. I guess it just worked out that way for us. You could always arrange a babysitter or two to take care of children in a separate room at your venue or nearby hotel, that way parents can enjoy themselves and you don't have kids running around that you don't want there.

We cut the majority of the children on our guest list because we hit max capacity and honestly kids were the last thing on our mind. We have guests traveling for our wedding and we want a night for parents to enjoy rather than having to leave early because of their crabby and tired children. We even made sure there was plenty of transportation so parents could drink and have a good time. We only invited first cousins regardless of age and then siblings children. Other than that everyone was cut off. Some of our first cousins had 4-5 children per family.

You will have people question and even try and add their kids. Just make sure to hold your ground and say "our venue cannot accommodate anymore people and we have hit our max, we would really like you there and if you cannot make it you will be missed."

"So we let everyone know that 13 and under you need a sitter to pick them up after a certain time or leave them at home."

Bianca, that's rude. You either invite kids or not. You don't invite them and then ask for them to leave early.

Marilyn, usually parents don't take kindly to being told they'll have a better time without their children. That kind of language is offensive, IMO.

OP, we all have opinions on this, but the point is you and your FH have to be on the same page here. You need to find a way to compromise on this. How many children are we talking?

Girl we not having children except flower girl and he groomsmen which is my fiancé only niece and his only son. Do what u feel is best. I wldnt do kids period unless in wedding. But be sure to be nice when putting the word out.

While I think kids are amazing at weddings, I do understand that there are limits on guest lists and they are some of the easiest to cut. I agree with pp that you have to cut them from ceremony and reception if that is what you want to do. Also, the 12 seems like an arbitrary age to pick, as if it is a way to allow some kids you want here and not others so I would go with 18 as your age limit. You may get people who decline but that is what happens when you limit people.

@modern ever heard of a babysitter?

Adult only is okay.

Only family kids is okay.

12 seems like a random cutoff that's not okay.

Luckily my FH and I immediately agreed we don't want children at our reception. I don't think you are wrong at all. Children are very stressful at events like that and I don't want to have to be worried about what someone's child is doing.

I find it strange when an adult can't enjoy themselves if their children aren't there. What do you do when you are working? As you can tell though I'm pro-adult only. Mine is outside by a waterfall and I refuse to be held responsible if a child falls into the water because all the adults are drinking and not paying attention. It takes a couple seconds for a disaster to happen.

You specified "reception." If children are invited to the ceremony (the boring part), they should be invited to the reception (thank you party). If you don't want children at the reception - which is absolutely fine - don't invite them to any part of the wedding. I'm assuming you already knew that, but I just wanted to throw that in there in case you didn't.