Childhood Friends

This is how guest lists get out of hand. Don't do it.

Celia - I totally agree.. It's really just one friend in this case. She is the only one I'm on the fence about because we were SO close for so long. Everyone else I've cut long ago lol

IMO, if you haven't hung out or talked to them in the last year don't invite.

First do you have room in your guest list for her? Second why do you want her there? I am having my high school bestfriend in the wedding bc were still close and we only see each other once a yr or every other year but shes active duty military so its understandable. Shes just as close (if not closer) to my family as my "adult" friends. My childhood bestfriend invited me to her wedding back in May, I don't speak to her & didn't go (sent a gift) but since I am semi responsible for her & her Hs first date it was understandable I was invited. So again I ask why?

If you haven't seen her in 4 years I wouldn't invite her. I don't think keeping in contact with someone via FB warrants an invite to the wedding IMO.

@Faran - Yes, there is room on the guest list, otherwise I wouldn't be asking. I want her there because we were very close for a long time and she was a big part of my life. The past couple of years with Jobs/Kids/busy lives we haven't hung out, but still keep in touch and chat.

Honestly if she lived in town I feel like we'd be much closer. Right now I'm even trying to help her get a job at my work. I understand all the reasons why I should probably not invite her - which is what I'm leaning towards, but it's hard since I do really still want her to be in my life.

Well if you feel like you want her there, and you have room in your budget then invite them. You know your relationship with them.

It's up to you as long as you can afford to host her. I might also try and give her a plus 1 if she really won't know anyone else there, so she has someone to hang out with as you'll be too busy to spend a lot of time with her. She can bring a friend if she doesn't have an SO.

It would be based on how you see your friendship with her. I have close childhood friends that I am inviting because we've still stayed in touch as adults. One of them (who I've been very close friends with since 18months) is who I'm asking to be my maid of honor. But it's based on the relationship you have with her, and how close you see yourself becoming with her (aka- do you see yourself still being close friends in the future).

I was invited to a former friend's wedding last year....we were friends up until the 8th grade and we stopped speaking. Our mom's are still close but we've only seen each other probably 2 times since we were kids, but are FB friends (and the kind that never "like" or comment on the other's stuff). I didn't go to her wedding and my mom asked if I was going to invite her...I said no and blamed it on the limited space at the venue, and that I didn't see any reason to have her there because we WERE friends.

So, I say no. Don't invite her. You haven't seen each other in 3 years and she ONLY lives 90 minutes away, which isn't that far. Neither of you have put effort into the friendship, which sounds like its pretty much done.

I was invited to a former friend's wedding last year....we were friends up until the 8th grade and we stopped speaking. Our mom's are still close but we've only seen each other probably 2 times since we were kids, but are FB friends (and the kind that never "like" or comment on the other's stuff). I didn't go to her wedding and my mom asked if I was going to invite her...I said no and blamed it on the limited space at the venue, and that I didn't see any reason to have her there because we WERE friends.

So, I say no. Don't invite her. You haven't seen each other in 3 years and she ONLY lives 90 minutes away, which isn't that far. Neither of you have put effort into the friendship, which sounds like its pretty much done.

You know ... I was almost in a similar situation, but not really, because we actually do get together a few - to a handful of times a year over the last 2 years. She was a friend from 7th and 8th grade! LOL ... we connected over facebook, like a kazillion other childhood friends. But out of the kazillion childhood facebook friends, we actually do stuff. We just went ice skating a couple of weeks ago. We go out to eat with our guys as couples. We see shows together. So, yeah, she is getting an invite. Kazillion other childhood friends on FB where we just "like" and occasionally comment, maybe a private facebook message a couple of times a year, if that .... No they don't get an invite.

I only talk to about 3 people that I went to school with, and they will be invited to the wedding. People that I chat with on Facebook with every few years or run into at the bar every once in awhile will not be invited. I just don't feel that same connection with certain people that I used to. If you did to decide to invite this friend, I don't think she would be weirded out by it, but I personally wouldn't invite her.

Yes! I have two friends that I was so close with in high school. Of course life happened, different colleges, move to different areas. I like you keep in contact on facebook and might see them here and there. Growing up I couldn't imagine them not being there with me on my day, however it is sad we've grown apart. I still wanted them there, so what I did was when I asked for their addresses I included a message saying that although we don't get to see each other often that they have been a big part of my life and helped make me who I am today and that I couldn't imagine getting married without them there on my day. I thought it would be flattering to them, let them know I'm thinking of them, while also kinda explaining myself, so they wouldn't think 'weird I'm being invited after so many years'. I don't know if what I did was right or not, but the feedback I got from them was positive and how they would love to be there.

If you want her there, extend the invite.

I haven't seen my college friends in 7 years. Even though it involved travel from CA to TX, I sent my closest ones from that time Facebook messages that said "I know its been awhile, but I really want to invite you to my wedding. I know the distance may make it tough, so I completely understand if you can't make it, but I would love to have you here if its possible!". We rarely talked in that time, but still touched base on Facebook from time to time.

Every single one came. It was SUCH a fun time, and so good to see them again. We had a blast talking and dancing!! If you want her there, invite her. Let her worry about it being weird.