Child Free Reception

No. Not on the STD either.

I like Mrs2B2018's response. We have a blurb on our website's about kids and extra guests and how we cannot accommodate due to venue guest limit. Almost all of our guests are making a 3 hour trip and making a weekend out of it, I would feel absoluetely awful if they made plans, bought tickets to local theme parks, etc with their kids only to find we can't have them at the wedding. I would be the one being blamed for wasting their time and money because I "wasn't clear enough."

In additional to that, on our actual RSVP, we put the number of seats reserved AND a line that says __ out of ___ attending (where we pre-fill the second blank). I attached a screenshot of it below.

We will also obviously address only the people invited, but I believe this is the worst way to ensure extra guests/kids from not coming. No one even notices the envelope or doesn't understand that etiquette.

I'm for whatever is being most clear to your guests - you know them best.

I have contacted all the parents invited to the wedding and told them to plan on a sitter because it's adults only. So far everyone is on board, we'll see as the time gets closer. We also have it listed on our website that the days is only for adults.

We are all on a wedding site so for the bulk of us we know the proper etiquette, or are willing to ask and find out. But what I think some people are failing to comprehend, or accept, is that not everyone knows and/or follows the rules of etiquette.

There are people in this world who will receive a properly addressed invitation, with only 2 seats explicitly reserved for them, and think gasp "oh they know I have kids, they must be included." So despite you doing it right, despite having a website that only allows you to rsvp for 2 people...they'll do the 2 and still show up with two little ones in tow. My own FH said oh what's the big deal we're not going to have to pay for a 3 year old...they'll just eat off of their parents plate. Doh! Lol it doesn't work like that! So if he thinks that, it's not a far reach to think guests might come to that conclusion as well.

Again.....just know your audience!

While I do think it's rude to put on the invites, I don't see why you don't personally talk to the guests and tell them that you really wish their kids could come, but they can't - ESPECIALLY if it's family. I would absolutely tell relatives "We haven't seen little ____ in so long, I'm so sorry we can't accomodate him/her at the wedding, maybe in ___ days/weeks/months we can plan a get together to catch up!"

Okay Amy R. What's your decision? Many people put their heart into this discussion, and we deserve to know what you decided....

Listen, only you know your family and friends. As long as they're fairly laid back people that don't get hung up over wording on an invite than I say go for it. However, if you have some southern belle debutante family members I probably would find a different way to announce that you don't want the kiddos around. Maybe even talk to those family members and ask how they would put it?

Both mine and my FH's family and friends are all laid back people so luckily I don't have to worry about this nonsense.

Good luck!

I didn't think it was rude at all to inform guests of who was invited. I had "children of family members are welcome to attend" on one of the inserts in my invitation. If you can figure out a positive way to word it, I don't think it's that big of a deal but, I'm probably in the minority.

I addressed my invites to the adults, put on my invitation adult only reception to follow and put it on my website. I wanted people to be aware because the limit at our venue is very tight.

My cousin put a cute little cut-out note in her invitation font how much they love kids but the adults only are invited to the cocktail reception. Don't be afraid to call the people who may bring kids and double-check with them. The people who don't have kids wouldn't need that little cut-out note. But I do so she included it in my invitation. This lady seems to have some good tips on her page: https://www.invitationsbydawn.com/content/adults-only-wedding-invitation-wording/

*sigh* you can't fix tacky, I guess.