Cheating Or Not Cheating?

None of them are cheating but they are putting themselves in a position that is a slippery slope because the intent is there. So all of the above is unacceptable behavior in a committed relationship.

That is all cheating. My partner shouldn't like or be interested in anyone sexually/romantically, period. Even without the actions being taken with the "liked" people, it's still emotional cheating.

View Quoted Comment I see your point.

View Quoted Comment Hmmmm...emotional cheating.... interesting perspective.

I don’t think any of them are cheating. I currently have two dating apps on my phone right now 🤣 My single friends like help and perspectives on potential dates.

View Quoted Comment Does your husband know your on dating apps?

View Quoted Comment Yup. Sometimes he’ll help me sort out the “sub-text” in some people’s profile if they sound like they may be covertly pretentious or elitist.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for clarifying.

It’s all cheating. Intent is 9/10ths of the law. If he’s flirting and putting himself out there with people he’s “into” he’s cheating, plain and simple.

View Quoted Comment Can you explain "Intent is 9/10ths of the law"? I looked it up but can't find anything concrete.

Those are all examples of emotional cheating to me(except the dating app since they didn’t meet anybody yet) and I wouldn’t be ok with any of it.
To me emotional cheating is even worse than getting drunk and having a one night stand, I’m not ok with either but an emotional connection is what sparks actual relationships.

View Quoted Comment Hmmmm...you have a good point.

Scenario 1 is disrespectful and Scenarios 2-6 is cheating.

Scenario 1: Your partner flirts with someone in person but doesn't physically do anything with them.

I would say not cheating with flirting. My husband has a very flirty personality and I know he's dedicated to me so it doesn't bother me.

Scenario 2: Your partner goes for coffee with someone they like*.

I wouldn't call this cheating but I would not be happy. We have a deal where we don't hang out one on one with someone of the opposite sex just to protect us. Neither of us is concerned about the other person, but this helps us and helps others not start rumors about us as well.

Scenario 3: Your partner logs into a chat room and starts talking sexually with strangers.

I would call this cheating. Sexually speaking with others is emotionally cheating in my book. We have talked about this and are in agreement.

Scenario 4: Your partner follows someone they like* on social media.

Not cheating. It's normal to have crushes or like someone but if he were to start messaging and flirting then I would be upset.

Scenario 5: Your partner downloads a dating app but doesn't meet anyone from it.

Not cheating but a definite stepping stone. Why do you need a dating app if you're not dating anymore? You're married to me, date me.

Scenario 6: Your partner gives their phone number to someone they like*.

Not cheating but a stepping stone. Why are you giving your number out?

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What makes scenario 1 disrespectful but not cheating?

View Quoted Comment

I appreciate the detail in your responses.

I wouldn't consider scenarios 1, 2, 4, 5, 6 cheating either but I think they could be a gateway into cheating.

Scenario 3 is definitely cheating, the only sexual interactions my partner should have is with me.

View Quoted Comment I guess it just depends on the level of flirting. There’s harmless flirting and then there’s flirting with the intent of wanting more past flirting.

I'd definitely be upset at all of that. Emotional cheating.n

Emotional cheating is still cheating in my opinion.

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Thank you for clarifying.