Changing Plans Due to Covid- Get Married Pregnant or With an Infant?

What if you had a small intimate wedding now, had your first child, and planned a reception or vow renewal for the future?

We are having a similar dilemma. We planned on booking in 2021 and now all the 2020 brides are taking dates (and rightfully so) but I don't want to push getting married back. I'm thinking we will probably have our wedding with an infant and get married as planned next year. And just pray that family helps out a ton. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment We may do a small thing now but would prefer to have the large event on the books so that we don’t lose all of our deposits with our vendors- postponing isn’t a problem but canceling indefinitely is. Also, I worry that if we do just eat the cost and cancel with the hope of throwing the wedding in a few years life might get in the way and we might have other things we want to spend time and money on?

Yes I am totally in the same predicament as you! We were supposed to get married on May 30th but had to postpone to July, which I am not feeling hopeful about either now. At the time we postponed it seemed like it would be far enough away but I live in NY and things are not even ready to reopen yet. Our plan was to begin trying to start a family right away after our May wedding and I really do not want to put it off since we want more than 1 kid and we are not getting any younger!

I too have been thinking that the best option might be to get married, start trying to get pregnant like now, and postpone the wedding until next year, after the baby is born and between 3-6 months old, but that's assuming we will get pregnant right away, which is a big IF.

This whole situation has me so stressed, and I know so many other brides can relate! Thinking of all you brides during this difficult time!

I'm right there with you! We're planning on getting married September 4th, but we'll probably have to push it to 2021. And I'll be turning 40 in a couple of months, so nobody's getting any younger! My only concern is that I really don't want to be visibly pregnant at the wedding because I already have the perfect dress. But I suppose that's minor in the grand scheme of things!

I would get legally married now, then try for a baby and plan a full blown wedding/vow renewal at your convenience.


There are many practical reasons to get married first. Marriage automatically establishes paternity (and the rights of a legally recognized father). You might need to go on each other's insurance, or it may be cheaper to put the baby on his. If something happens to you in the hospital, a husband, as opposed to a fiance or a baby father, may get more access to you, and be able to make medical decisions on your behalf if need be.

Like many others im in the same boat. We were supposed to get married in two weeks. We rescheduled to August 7 this year but it’s looking like we may have to postpone again. 💔 we decided we will still get married on Aug 7 legally and have a vowel renewal and reception next year. we were planning to start trying this fall after the wedding and are still thinking about doing so but i don’t want to be pregnant when we have the big party. The way we see it is a baby will be a blessing either way and if it’s meant to be then it will be no matter what and we will adjust! ❤️❤️ Good luck

I would say elope / small wedding..have your child and then later on you guys can plan for a vow renewal and then your child will be older enough to attend and have some understanding of what's going on...but it depends at the end of the day what works best for you both.

We’re in the exact same situation. We will get married this year with just our family and have the party postponed to July 2021. We’ve decided to start trying for a baby now and if we are gifted with one right away before the big party, then great! If not, that’s fine we’ll keep trying again later. We just can’t push either one anymore and if there’s anything this pandemic taught us, it’s that there are things we don’t have full control over so we’ll do what’s important for us.

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That is our exact plan at this point too. We decided having a kid is more of a priority to us than the wedding so if the wedding has to look a little different next year it is what it is. We are going to do something small now and I think I will even wear my dress and all that good stuff so that we can get pictures just in case I have an infant or am pregnant during our big wedding.

Thanks to everyone that responded, it really is nice just to hear from others who are working through this!

We also had to postpone to next summer. We planned to start trying for a baby next spring, so it only delays us by few months. My brother and his wife had a small civil ceremony with just immediate family first and their big, dream wedding when their son was five months old. Family members essentially just took turns taking care of the baby so that the bride and groom could dance and socialize. It worked out perfectly!

Hi ladies, my heart goes out to all of you because I am in kind of the same situation. Right now we are leaning toward starting to try to conceive next month and then having the big wedding and reception next year, after having a baby. My folks are quite conservative and will probably frown upon us having a baby before our wedding day but at the end of the day this is our decision and something we both seem to agree upon. What are you all leaning towards? So far I haven't really talked to anyone in the same situation as me.