Renay
Devoted April 2020

Changing plans again. Oppinions/suggestions/ideas?

Renay, on January 12, 2021 at 3:29 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 8
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So we were supposed to have around 275 people at our 4/25/20 wedding, then COVID crashed everything. We were able to have a small ceremony on our original day with a few people, and said we'd reschedule for 6/27/20. Obviously that did not work either, so we said we would reschedule for this summer instead. I have been really torn, so we had not set a date.
Part of me still really wants the big wedding that we planned for over 3 of our 9 years together. We never got to have a first dance. Our bridal party all purchased outfits they never got to wear. I made all these bouquets and boutonnieres that no one ever seen. We had to have one of our friends step in as officiant because our officiant was 81 and only had 1 functioning lung and we knew he couldn't risk a covid exposure. We've paid for my husband's tux rental for his purple tuxedo that he was dying to wear. I still want to wear my wedding dress, for more than 5 minutes, and really get to feel like a bride, ya know?
Now for all my reasons not to reschedule. It almost feels like such a waste to have another wedding. We are married, our goal was achieved. I have had multiple friends/family members tell me that they likely won't feel comfortable in large groups for a long time, like years. The man who was supposed to officiate, that has been like the grandpa I never had, who was so excited to at the very least do our vow renewal, contracted covid and died in December. We are wanting to buy a house and start a family within the year, so the money for the big reception seems like a waste.
I have been so conflicted I have literally lost nights of sleep to tears because the minute I think I have made a decision, I change my mind again. But recently we began discussing another idea. We want to go to St Louis (about 1.5 hours from us) with whoever wants to join us. Wedding party and close friends will be invited, but no one will be expected. I want to rent an Air B&B or something, go downtown to take pictures, have dinner and hit the bars. Something fun to run around in our attire, and really celebrate finally getting married. We've discussed it with most of our friends and they all think it sounds fun.
Has anyone done something like this? Just taken a group of people and had a fun trip instead of a reception?With all that said, does anyone have any suggestions for places for our group to stay? Probably looking between 10 and 20 people. Ideas of places to have dinner, or bars to hit up? I am probably just going to bring my professional camera and take our own shots, but if any one knows of a pro photographer in the STL area that wouldn't cost an arm for something like this, feel free to drop their info!

Mostly I am putting all this out there so that if any other bride is looking for an alternative or a way to make fun wedding memories, here is another idea for you! Smiley smile

8 Comments

Latest activity by Renay, on January 14, 2021 at 1:06 PM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    That does sound like a fun idea! Check out tripadvisor.com for places to stay and things to do.
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  • Sharonda
    Rockstar January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    Love it!!!! That really does sound like fun! We were planning a huge wedding in New Orleans, but we made alternative plans closer to home. Now, you’ve given me an idea for later - party and pictures in New Orleans later on once things calm down. Hmmm .....
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  • Katelyn
    Savvy May 2017
    Katelyn ·
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    I like the idea of doing some sort of celebratory trip; however, 20 people is too many even pre-covid. I travel a lot with several close friends and sometime our SOs. We never have more than 10 and that gets unwieldy. It's hard to find a house big enough (beds and bathrooms) to truly accommodate more than 8 adults. (1 bathroom per 1-2 bedroom is 100% necessary. A lot of places advertise holding 10 people and then either 2-4 people are sleeping on pull out couches or 4 in one bedroom on bunk beds.) Trying to coordinate 10+ in one house with one itinerary for everyone is HARD. People disagree about where to eat, what to do, how much money to spend, etc. Or people won't make a decisions and everyone gets cranky. And then add covid to the equation, and it sounds nearly impossible. Is indoor dining open in STL? How large of groups will a restaurant accommodate? (Indoor dining is closed near me and even when it was open, a restaurant wouldn't seat a party larger than 6.) Finally, the risk of Covid spreading with everyone staying in one house all weekend is VERY high. If anyone attends with Covid, you will all get it. (I read about a congressman who met his 20 family members for Thanksgiving after they all quarantined for 2 weeks, and they all still got Covid.) DH and I have met one or two our couples (no more than 6 total) for a weekend trip, and we all got PCR tests before attending. At a minimum everyone should get tested. I suggest getting two Air bnbs close to each other or staying in a hotel so each couple can get a separate room. You'll also have hang out space at a hotel. I also suggest you and DH creating the itinerary, sharing it with group and simply saying "this is what we have planned, we hope you want to join us for these activities but don't feel pressure to do everything all with us." If you do go to STL, go the City Museum. It is a great city!

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  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
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    What a fun idea!! From one covid bride to another, I get it. Compromising as a bride has never been so challenging as it is now. The question to ask yourself, when you go to a wedding in the future, will you feel like you “missed out”? For me, I knew I wouldn’t be able to enjoy weddings without having a chance at my very own. We had a much smaller wedding but got first dance, etc. and I am satisfied I experienced it. If you’re trip (which sounds awesome!) fulfills you, go for it!! Hope this helps ❤️❤️❤️
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  • Renay
    Devoted April 2020
    Renay ·
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    I should have made it clear that I have no intentions of doing this until COVID has died down, and it is safe to do so.

    As far as accommodations go, I don't know the exact number of people going, but it will likely be closer to the 10 range. Not everyone is a couple, and most of us have traveled together before. No one has a problems with sharing space, or sleeping on bunks/pull outs with each other. All will be given the choice to stay with us, or get their own accomodations as well. I do plan on making the itinerary, with input from DH and anyone who decides to go with us.

    We love STL and go often for concerts or day trips. City Museum is awesome!

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  • Renay
    Devoted April 2020
    Renay ·
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    So true!! We helped my best friend's sister with her October wedding and definitely fought the jealousy. I do think this will satisfy that, and hope that others may be able to take my idea to help satisfy them!

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  • Renay
    Devoted April 2020
    Renay ·
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    Good idea! Thank you!

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  • Renay
    Devoted April 2020
    Renay ·
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    Party and Pictures in New Orleans would be amazing!!

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