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Beginner April 2019

Changing our date... again.

Makhari, on August 23, 2018 at 9:04 AM Posted in Planning 0 13

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Hey ladies. I just wanted some advice for anyone who’s dealt with a situation similar to mine.

So my wedding date, as of now, is 1/19/19. Our original date was 8/18/18 but because of my fiancé’s school schedule we had to change it. I was very sad about changing our beautiful date that I had dreamt about for so long but it just couldn’t happen. So we changed our date earlier in the year to 1/19/19 to give us more time. He graduates in December and is going through clinical hours now until then. He recently suggested that we change our wedding date ... AGAIN. The reason being is valid, he wants to be more stable by the time we get married and I understand that. By all means I want us to be able to LIVE after the wedding. But I’m concerned though about everyone who has already changed their off days at work, for some reason I don’t know how to break the news to my bridesmaids for the second time or anyone else. I’m feeling guilty for some reason like they’ll be upset with me for changing it again. ALSO, I have already paid for save the dates and gotten them back!!!! Please help.

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13 Comments

Latest activity by April, on August 23, 2018 at 3:13 PM

Beginner February 2019
Amber · on August 23, 2018 at 9:16 AM
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I changed my date 2 seoarate times. My original date was 10/28/18 which we had invitations made and mailed for. Then we had to change it to a week earlier 10/21/18 due my brother having schedule conflicts with his job. Then about a month ago we changed the date to 2/17/19 so we can have a little more time to save money and are sticking to it as of now.

It is your day, so you shouldn't feel bad about it. As long as you let everyone know as soon as you can so people can make sure to take the time off of work and such, it shouldn't be a problem. I felt so bad changing our date both times, but family and friends were supportive and understood. If antone has a real problem with it, I'd question even inviting them. Hope some of this helped in some way!
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Beginner April 2019
Makhari · on August 23, 2018 at 9:22 AM
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Did you send new invitations?
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Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on August 23, 2018 at 9:26 AM
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You shouldn't feel bad about changing the date to better suit your needs but I'd definitely sit down with your FH and tell him this is the last change and whatever date you pick is it. I'd also advise your friends and family to not change days off work or travel plans until you have a venue and other vendors set in stone for the day. When is the new date? If its less than a year away your FH needs to realize you need to get planning and he cannot keep changing his mind.
I had ordered save the dates I loved and then we had to change our venue due to a few reasons. So I had to order new save the dates. Sometimes we just lose money on things out of our control. I'd pick a new date and stick to it so your friends and family aren't confused.
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Devoted August 2018
Emily · on August 23, 2018 at 9:26 AM
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We were almost date twins! I got married 8.18.18.
However , I would say leave the date to 1.19.19 because you already sent out save the dates.
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Dedicated July 2019
nichole · on August 23, 2018 at 9:27 AM
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I would not feel bad that you have changed your date twice. Everyone should be understanding and if they care and love both of you they would be there to support you regardless of how many times you have changed your date. I would just let everyone know as soon as possible so they can change their time off at work . But you will be ok you have no reason to feel guilty! Hope this helps.
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Devoted August 2019
Randi · on August 23, 2018 at 9:32 AM
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I realize he might want to be more stable financially when you guys get married, but life is full of ups and downs. You can be married and go through rough times financially too.
If you can afford the current wedding you have planned for January then I would say keep the date.
If it involves taking out loans, I would say push it back till you have the funds you need for your wedding so you aren't starting out by adding debt.
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Beginner April 2019
Makhari · on August 23, 2018 at 9:54 AM
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Thank you so much, this definitely helped.
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Beginner April 2019
Makhari · on August 23, 2018 at 9:55 AM
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Thank you so much!
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Beginner April 2019
Makhari · on August 23, 2018 at 9:56 AM
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8.18.18 was truly my true love lol! I hope you had an amazing wedding day!
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Beginner April 2019
Makhari · on August 23, 2018 at 9:57 AM
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And the wedding is pretty much paid for, it’s more of him wanting to be more stable with our living arrangements after marriage. We only have a few things that aren’t done being paid for as far as the wedding goes.
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on August 23, 2018 at 10:04 AM
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Honestly I'd keep the date. Being married will not make things harder financially. In actuality when you get married you are very likely to get cash/checks for gifts that may help you out. My finances improved when we eloped since we were able to get him on my insurance to save a ton of money. Car insurance is also cheaper and taxes are better.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on August 23, 2018 at 11:24 AM
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I would feel bad if I asked my friends and family to reserve three separate dates for me as well. Sit down with FH and decide on a final date so you don’t have to go through this again. Maybe let your BP know that you’ll be postponing, and you’ll get back to them with a final date once you and FH are on the same page.
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Super November 2018
April · on August 23, 2018 at 3:13 PM
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While I only changed my date 1 time, I changed my venue 3-4 times. I even sent save the dates with the wrong date and venue. Thankfully I didn't spend hundreds on them, only about 50-60$ but I did spend about $1000 on the first venue that I couldn't get refunded in anyway. I wouldn't worry so much about how everyone is going to take it. If it is what is right for you two as a couple, then it is the right thing to do. My suggestion would be to make whatever change you need to make but don't communicate all of the details about the new plan. What I did was just tell everyone: Hey, this last plan we had isn't going to happen. We are thinking of something like this but we will communicate the date, location, details at a later time when things are solidified. Sorry for all the back and forth and we appreciate your support through it all. This is just what is best for us. We cannot wait to celebrate our day with you all! - Then be done with it
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