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Just Said Yes August 2019

Changing my mind and eloping

Leah, on March 7, 2019 at 12:59 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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I've always imagined a big wedding, however after getting engaged I realized it was outside the budget for FH and I. We've been together for 5 years and bought a house 2 years ago, we just want to be married. We are currently talking about have an intimate (15 or less) wedding or eloping. My entire family expects me to have a big wedding. (I feel it's important to put that my mom has 10 brothers and sister, so just aunts and uncles on my side put it over 50). I've been talking about my wedding day for so long that I don't know what to do. We've actually started planning a scaled down version of the wedding and I'm not excited about it.

I'm going to be stubborn about the wedding date. I don't want to wait any longer to save up $$$

Should we have the small wedding? How do I curb my family's expectations?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Iva, on March 7, 2019 at 1:27 PM

Master June 2019
Danielle · on March 7, 2019 at 1:06 PM
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Family expectations can be such a weight on our shoulders, but at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you and your FH....especially if y'all are the ones paying for everything. Fantasies (a.k.a. families' expectations) are great, but at the end of the day, all of that big wedding stuff has to be paid for!
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Expert May 2019
Keary · on March 7, 2019 at 1:06 PM
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Just tell them y'all are ready and you want to make it small and less stressful for you. FH and I are eloping just us two. Neither mother took it well. Just be firm and try to make it clear that you guys are doing something FOR YOU bc it's YOUR wedding. You don't owe them a wedding. You owe you a day that makes you happy to start your new married life.
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Master August 2021
Jasmine · on March 7, 2019 at 1:06 PM
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There are definitely options to eloping. You can still have 15 people for a small wedding at an elopement price. Depending on where you are having your wedding and what you want included will determine the cost but still very cheap. For instance, you can check www.simplyeloped.com for starters. You can also do a destination wedding with them as well. Definitely explore your options. It's totally doable!
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Master December 2020
Amanda · on March 7, 2019 at 1:16 PM
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Do what you and FS want! Maybe just courthouse and dinner after with your most close family!? If they cant accept it, then you can elope haha, its your decison not theirs!
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Super September 2019
Iva · on March 7, 2019 at 1:27 PM
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I agree with the post above, you can still have a small & wonderful wedding with your closest people on a small budget.
I think it’s great that you are so rational about finances & want to make the right decision for you & FH. For me personally, eloping does take away from the wedding day, as I would want my most important people there with me: my parents, siblings & my very best friends would be a must.
I would look at wedding packages in Cancun area, for example. For $2,000-$5,000 you can have a gorgeous beach ceremony in one of the really nice resorts & then private sit-down dinner with dancing reception for 20-25 people, flowers, photography, food & drinks included. This can also double as your honeymoon, so you can relax with your hubby after!
As far as what others expect, don’t worry about this. This is your day & your decision & you are also paying for it. Just let your family know calmly & firmly what your plan is for your wedding & don’t feel obligated to keep explaining your reasons etc.
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