Changing Mind on Having a Bridal Party?

If I had been asked to be a BM and then told that it wouldn't happen, I'd be a bit hurt. At least you are deleting the entire wedding party rather than just one or two members.

For other brides and grooms, this is another reason why you should wait until 6 to 8 months before your wedding to ask someone to be in your wedding party.

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EXACTLY!!!

I'd be a little hurt, but at the same time, relieved since I hate being in weddings to begin with This is why we didn't have a bridal party, why I recommend NOT having a bridal party, and why a lot of people recommend waiting until 6-8 months out to ask people if you do want a bridal party.

I agree, after being asked if I were told I would no longer be in the bridal party, I'd be a bit hurt, even if I weren't the only one being "kicked out" of the bridal party.

I'd really, really think it over before disinviting them.

I wouldn't do this. It would really hurt your friends.

I'm also very lucky to have many good close friends, but I decided to only choose 7 bridesmaids including my fiance's sister. I think at this point my other friends know that they aren't in the bridal party but they have not expressed any hurt feelings about it. When you have good friends, having a bridal party is one of the best parts of wedding planning, I couldn't imagine my day without my bridal party

Is it possible you can give the people you already asked another type of role? Like doing a toast or reading at the ceremony?

Hurt feelings are going to be inevitable if you withdraw your bridesmaid request.

One possibility to consider (that would not personally hurt my feelings if I were your friend), is if you tell them the traditional bridal party is too much but you would like them say something at the ceremony. Give them an opportunity to stand up during the ceremony but not stand with you during the whole ceremony. Just an idea. I think if you have an honest and open conversation with them to see how they feel, it will be the best way to make a decision

Thank you for all your opinions! I am considering them all and taking them all to heart. I found an interesting article online that read:

"If you're having a small wedding party (maid of honor and best man only), invite your girlfriends to be part of the ceremony without the formal "bridesmaid" title. "They could wear similar colors, process down the aisle, and sit in the first few rows," Nichols explains. Emily Butler of Karson Butler Events calls these "Friends of Honor." "You could send them down the aisle with a corsage or small nosegay, then have them sit instead of standing at the altar, and can dedicate time at the beginning of cocktail hour to grabbing formal photos together," Butler explains."

I think this may allow me to include the few girls that I wouldn't be able to in the bridal party and not "demote" the girls I have already asked. I think I could simply say my fiance and I decided to go with a nontraditional (or not as formal) approach and explain what I envision their roles being as "friends of honor" (readings, toasts, getting ready together, having them wear something special from me (corsage or whatever I decide), etc). I think this may be less stressful for my ladies financially, I still get to enjoy the special times with them, and no one's feelings are hurt (hopefully!!)

Thank you again, and let me know if how you feel about this option or if you have any further thoughts! xo

I think it depends on how close you are with the girls you already asked. If it were my closest friends doing that to me of course I'd be bummed but I would totally understand especially if they had a good reason. But if your friends are capable of being unreasonable sometimes it will probably cause a problem.

I am so grateful I didn’t have a bridal party, it was just so much easier (and cheaper). I would say since you already asked that you have to either keep them or have NO ONE at all to avoid hurt feelings. It’s understandable to change plans entirely but not to just cut out a few people.

I wouldn’t be upset at all. If you’re deciding to omit everyone it’s not personal. Do what is right for you. In my opinion, a small wedding party is nicer anyway.

I think this should be fine. Maybe host a luncheon or something for them and tell them you wanted them all to be bridesmaids, but that friendship doesn't have to have a price. You love them without them buying a dress or any of that stuff.

I have mixed feelings about this one. I'm afraid there may be friendships damaged, and feelings hurt. It might be possible to backtrack, but it seems like a tricky situation.

View Quoted Comment Thank u for your Input. I've been struggling with definitely cause I have many friends and my fiancee has about 3.

It’s your wedding- do it if you want to. i honestly went back & forth between having one & not having one & i absolutely love my girls but it has increased my budget & the drama so at the end do what you think will make you happy. it’s also better that you’re not having one at all instead of uninviting like 2 bridesmaids

If you decide at some point not to have a bridal party. Maybe invite the bridemaids you asked for lunch, explain your situation and give them a nice small gift as a token of your appreciation. If they are truly your friends and care about you they will understand.

I'm not having a bridal party at all. We are a older couple (both married once before) so it just didn't make sense for us. Since I'm planning the entire event I just want this to be as stress free as possible and the less people that are involved the more I can stay focused on what I need to get done. I'm doing something similar to the article you posted. I'm having my daughter-in-law, my husband's daughter-in-law and my son's aunt wear corsages but they will be seated.