Arlene
Devoted March 2020

Change of plans

Arlene, on September 15, 2019 at 7:06 PM Posted in Planning 0 10
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For those who saw my previous post about non supportive bridal party and wanting to do something more intimate. And just a lot of unfortunate events happening... I want to just get
married alone with foh I’m over the wedding I’m over the planning I’m over the financial issues and over broken promises of bridal party or friends. Don’t really want to elaborate just want ideas... my bridal party got their dresses already. Should we just do ceremony and bridal partt
for photos then take off to honeymoon? I No longer want to pay over 15k as it is just me and rob paying and i feel let down with everything. We put a deposit and the venue understands so we’d be losing 2500. But in my eyes peace of mind is better than losing 2500. I rather do something just us 2 with parents and bridal party. I sent save the dates already but I’m really stressed. Any ideas ?

10 Comments

  • Miranda
    Dedicated September 2020
    Miranda ·
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    We are doing a DW for close family. And then throwing a party back at home for our friends and family that were not invited when we return from our honey moon. Maybe you can do that just have a party to celebrate the important day for you and your FH

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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    That’s what I’m thinking we will just take a loss on the deposit
    • Reply
  • Miranda
    Dedicated September 2020
    Miranda ·
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    I'm sorry you have gotten to the point you don't want to do a wedding any longer. Was there no way you could just use that venue and uninvite anyone that you no longer want there to have a smaller wedding. Because it is honestly true that with a smaller wedding there is a lot less stress to it all. I know uninviting someone is rude but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    It's totally fine to change your plans! I would reach out to everyone who received a Save the Date and let them know that you've decided to scale back and do an intimate wedding. However, this works best if you keep the ceremony guests limited to only the two of you, or immediate family!

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  • M
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    Why would you lose your deposit?

    Read your contract thoroughly.

    Things happen and events get cancelled or rescheduled all the time.
    • Reply
  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    That’s what we’re kind of disappointed about we don’t want to lose the venue but same time we might do something else but to keep our money seems a bit upsetting I have given them plenty of notice, we’ve taken up with management to see
    • Reply
  • Kat_
    Super October 2019
    Kat_ ·
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    We absolutely considered this several times. We are paying for it all ourselves too and it adds up. I’m really glad we pushed through all the ups and downs and when I manage my expectations and remember I can’t control the actions of others... I’m THRILLED about marrying my best friend and throwing the best celebration We will ever have in our honor... ever! I’m on cloud nine at 15 days to the wedding and we have our payment plan together for all that we are financing. It’s amazing to know that we have come so far and the wedding is a symbol of our new lives together. 💗. Good luck with your choice and I wish you all the happiness with whatever you choose!
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  • Vicky
    Super January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Most deposits are nonrefundable. That's why they would lose their deposit.

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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    It's totally fine to do what you want to do for your wedding - its YOUR wedding! Maybe consider keeping the venue and doing a small reception with just your favorite people that are still being supportive? But if you don't want someone there, uninvite them! Don't let someone ruin your day, no matter who they are! Toxic is toxic, no matter what!

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  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I felt like this too at one point and decided not to cancel for the sole reason of not wanting to explain to everyone who we had sent save the dates to and have everyone be annoyed (because yes, they would be) and honestly it was one of the best decisions I ever made. My wedding planning process was stressful and exhausting (physically and emotionally) and at times it was awful, and in the end it was all worth it. In the end you have to remember you are only responsible for yourself and how you behave, and you have to brush everyone else’s drama off your shoulders. Stop thinking of it as the most perfect day of your life... just think of it as a big party to make all your friends and family happy. Really, that’s what it is! And if you can find it in yourself to accept that and to let the stress go, I think you’ll actually end up enjoying it yourself.
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