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Dedicated October 2020

Change of plans, venue, budget, everything.

Brittainy, on July 28, 2019 at 12:34 AM Posted in Planning 0 15

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This is a bit of a vent I suppose. Not sure how to classify it.

e were planning on a formal wedding at a Victorian house on 10/30/2020. But after paying our $4000 deposit and going over our budgets and realizing that it’s another $13000 on top of the deposit......we realized that doing this wedding all by ourselves wasn’t in line with our life goals, which include moving to Austin,TX next year for work and family. We still want to have a good time with friends and family though. So, we’ve decided on Vegas. And we can actually get married on 10/31/2020! We found this pretty chapel with a Victorian glam vibe at the Paris Hotel/Casino that includes a 3 night stay and a photo/video package for the ceremony and we plan to do a dinner with the immediate family only after and for our freinds and family who feel like partying with us we are going to get a vip space at a nightclub in the Paris for the party. Which total will set us back about half of what our remaining balance would be at our original venue.

While I feel good knowing we won’t be spending needed funds for our move and reestablishing ourselves in a new city and state, I am bummed we can’t have the beautiful Victorian gothic wedding I wanted on Halloween. So it’s a catch 22 for me. Also losing our non refundable $4000 deposit on our original venue is a huge smack in the gut. But maybe it’ll be fun? Right? I’m thinking it’s halloween after all and I can invest a few hundred in a nightlife photographer to capture the party....and since it’s halloween and John and I will be dressed to the nines in our wedding garb I want to find some really cool (and cheap) crowns for us to wear as a nod to dressing up for the holiday.

Would it be ideal for me to change into a lighter dress? Yes, but I love my dress and it’s expensive and I only get to wear it this one time. So why not just wear it all night? It’s a trumpet style anyway and not too heavy. So it should be ok?

just so confused and so many things running through my head and I guess I just hope we can have as nice of a time on our wedding with our friends and family as we had originally planned.
Sincerely,
dazed and confused

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15 Comments

Latest activity by KYLIE, on August 5, 2019 at 9:04 PM

Dedicated October 2020
Brittainy · on July 28, 2019 at 12:40 AM
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A pic of the chapel at the Paris hotel in Vegas we found. And my dress for reference.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on July 28, 2019 at 12:40 AM
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I say still wear your wedding dress to Vegas! Your optimism is incredible, by the way. I'm confident everything will turn out so much better than you imagined. Try not to stress out on the things you can't control. You can do it!
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Dedicated December 2020
Chelsea · on July 28, 2019 at 1:06 AM
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My cousin just got married in Vegas at Ceasars Palace. About 30 people came. She had a beautiful wedding dress and the bridal party was all done up. They enjoyed it so much! It was something around $3,000 and includes the ceremony space, photographer, rooms, and a reversal dinner. They just had a party weekend with their close friends. And as a guest, we had a blast too! Best of luck. After their wedding we went over to the Bellagio to one of their bars set up behind the fountain for a sort of cocktail hour. It was nice! I hope you have a beautiful day!
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on July 28, 2019 at 1:37 AM
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Your dress is gorgeous!!
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VIP December 2019
Michelle · on July 28, 2019 at 4:18 AM
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I love the chapel and the dress we we're going to do Vegas and get married and have the reception at the sugar factory but too many people that we wanted there can't come to Vegas like grandparents
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Dedicated October 2021
Bridgette · on July 28, 2019 at 7:21 AM
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The chapel and your dress are gorgeous! Vegas was going to be my backup plan. We're getting married the Saturday before Halloween. Our venue is kicking us out before 9 so we are most likely partying later in the night. My FH and I are still going to wear our wedding attire. We're just going to go as zombie bride and groom. I definitely think you should keep the dress and change it up throughout the night.
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October 2018
FirstTimeMOB · on July 28, 2019 at 8:13 AM
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We attended a wedding in that exact chapel - it was great!
Be realistic about your costs though. You estimate that the cost of the Vegas wedding would be half of what you were originally planning...make sure you are including travel costs and other extras...and add in the cost of that deposit that you aren't getting back...and see if it really is that much less.
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on July 28, 2019 at 11:03 AM
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I agree about being realistic about your total costs and how much you'll actually save. Also, if I understand your post correctly, it sounds like you will be inviting some guests to travel to Vegas for your wedding, but not inviting them to the dinner? If that's the case, I'd consider rethinking that. It's a LOT for a guest to travel for a DW; personally, I'd plan to host all those who come for whatever events you're holding. I'd find it pretty rude, after attending the ceremony, to be left on my own, while others went to a hosted dinner, before the nightclub post-party. That would be like having a local wedding and not inviting some guests to the reception, but to come to the after party. There have recently been posts asking if that exact scenario is okay, and the response was pretty much unanimous that it is not. I think it's even more problematic for a DW.
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on July 28, 2019 at 2:12 PM
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Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Your dress is gorgeous and I love the Paris wedding chapel. But on no planet would it be okay to invite people to fly out to Vegas, watch you get married and not feed them. Worse, feed a select few.
Also, that VIP table at Chateau? That'll be a couple grand, easily in bottle service and gratuities.
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September 2019
Lorri · on July 28, 2019 at 9:41 PM
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I agree with this SO MUCH. It is BEYOND rude to only feed some of the people that came, and not the rest. I wouldnt expect a crazy expensive dinner, but if I had to spend money to drive or fly to Vegas, get a room, get you a gift, AND feed myself, I would SERIOUSLY be rethinking if you were the types of people I want to hang around with, especially if I found all this out AFTER I got to Vegas. Feeding everyone who comes is a MUST!!
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September 2019
Lorri · on July 28, 2019 at 9:42 PM
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By the way, your dress is GORGEOUS so wear it all night if you want.
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Dedicated October 2020
Brittainy · on July 28, 2019 at 11:17 PM
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Why am I being attacked suddenly?
And we aren’t asking for any gifts, we aren’t even doing a registry.
our freinds are our age and when we asked what they would want to do....dinner or a party with drinks...because we can’t do both... they said let’s party. They’d rather drink with us all night for free then have a meal. So please don’t just jump to judgements about our event. Thanks.
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Savvy May 2020
Nancy · on July 28, 2019 at 11:34 PM
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That’s a pretty chapel and you look beautiful in your dress. I would still wear it, I feel you I keep changing my mind and plans bc it kinda makes me sick to spend money that I know we can use for something else. Especially when your paying for everything by yourself. Just think of what is most important for you, hopefully that helps. I know the dress and pictures are more important for me so I’ll be focusing more on that. Congratulations 💕👰🏻
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Savvy November 2019
Kali · on July 28, 2019 at 11:38 PM
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Keep the dress you have!! My fiancé and I went from a 250 person wedding in our home town to a destination wedding with 18 people. Do what makes YOU happy and you won’t make a wrong decision! I struggled with not having the wedding I had been planning to begin with, but I am three months away and don’t regret the change at all!
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on August 5, 2019 at 9:04 PM
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No one is attacking you. And obviously when you put someone on the spot and ask them what they’d “rather have” (which is so rude!!), they’re going to say partying, which is a better dollar value and sounds more fun. Hardly anyone on earth would say what they’re thinking, which is most likely “Oh wow, really? I’m spending money on a plane ticket and hotel and using vacation time and you’re seriously not providing food and drinks for one meal?”

Don’t say you “can’t” do both. You can fully host less people, you can choose a more economical dinner locale, you could pay for drinks somewhere less pricey than a club. You can do a number of things differently that would be fully hosting people who are spending their time and money to celebrate your nuptials out of town.
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