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VIP September 2023

Change of Plans, Don’t Know What to Do

Erin, on September 24, 2019 at 11:09 AM Posted in Planning 0 4

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My FH and I were planning on a spring 2021 wedding. He asked me today how I felt about him applying for the State Patrol. I support him and want him to be happy. However, they don’t open applications until Spring 2020. Law Engagement hiring processes here take, on average, 6-12 months from start to finish and I highly doubt the state patrol will be quick in their decision making. The State Patrol is different from every other police force here in that they require all recruits to live full time in the barracks during the academy, so he would be gone for 6 months. Best case, the hiring process takes a year and he leaves right after the wedding, worst case he’ll be gone when we had originally planned for.

On top of that, if he gets hired and finishes the academy, he could be stationed anywhere in the state. I don’t want to plan a Denver Wedding only to find out that we’ll be moving somewhere on the other side of the state. This leaves us with 2 choices, postpone indefinitely, or push the wedding way up and not have the wedding we want. I honestly don’t know what to do. He might not even get in, but we’re operating on the positive.

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Anna, on September 24, 2019 at 2:30 PM

January 2019
MOB So Cal · on September 24, 2019 at 11:18 AM
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Generally, I think both parties should "follow their dreams," especially regarding careers, etc. However, there are a LOT of "ifs" in the potential scenarios you've described, so even if he applies, you can't really predict if it will impact your current wedding plans. My only advice is that you invest in wedding insurance with good coverage, so if you need to reschedule the wedding due to his work circumstances you'll get back all your deposits so you can plan it at a more opportune time. Good luck!
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Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on September 24, 2019 at 11:19 AM
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When will you find out when he gets in?
I think you need to think about what's more important to you, having the wedding you can afford and being married, or waiting to throw the bash you want and not being married for way longer. Personally? I'd start saving as much as I can and get married sooner. Even if that meant courthouse and dinner, because being married was more important to us than material things, especially if we couldn't pick a date farther out because of the circumstances.
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Dedicated October 2019
October2019 · on September 24, 2019 at 11:55 AM
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This is a decision you two have to make but I would find out how many people can come to the wedding earlier and get married earlier that's just me. I would rather be married before my FH had to leave and if you want a do big party in a year or two. Some of my FHs family couldn't come to the wedding so instead they are flying us out to them and throwing us a party.
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Super August 2020
Anna · on September 24, 2019 at 2:30 PM
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This is tough. Personally, I would push the date up and get married sooner. You may have to forgo some of the wedding dreams to do it but I would rather be married. What about a fall 2020 wedding? Then you still have 1 year to plan, and it's unlikely he would have finished the whole process of applying yet (according to what you said). Then there's also still lots of time to send out STD's and invites as it's still on a normal timeline.
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