Ceremony seating with divorced in laws

They are adults, this is their child's wedding, if they can't sit together long enough for their child to get married..there are bigger issues here. My parents are divorced, have been since I was 8 years old. They kind of get along, they sat right next to each other.

From Emily Post if it helps:

Seating divorced parents: When either the bride or groom’s parents are divorced the seating needs to be planned carefully and the ushers need clear instructions. It can be tricky: Divorced parents may or may not get along, or the bride may be close to one parent and not the other. Tact and diplomacy will be critical for keeping the peace.

In the lucky event that all the parties get along, there’s no reason why the divorced parents cannot share the front row. But when there is strain or outright bitterness, it’s necessary to use a careful, well-thought-out alternative plan that keeps the parties separated.

When divorced parents sit separately, and using the bride’s parents as an example, her mother (and stepfather, if Mom has remarried) sits in the front row. Members of her mother’s immediate family—the bride’s grandparents, any siblings who aren’t attendants, and aunts, uncles, and their spouses—sit immediately behind in the next one or two rows. The bride’s father, after escorting his daughter up the aisle and presenting her to the groom, sits in the next row behind the bride’s mother’s family—usually the third or fourth—with his wife and their family members. This protocol is followed even if the bride’s father is hosting the wedding.

When the groom’s parents are divorced, they’re seated in the same manner.

Following; however, etiquette or not, if I sat my divorced parents (both remarried and neither friendly toward the other) in the manner listed above, there would be a major meltdown.

Since my parents absolutely will not get along, at the reception they will be at two different tables. At the ceremony, they will both be in the front row, however my brothers, who are ushers, will sit between them to create space.

I'm having my parents sit in the same row but will probably separate them a few seats with grandmothers in between. Is that an option for you guys?

The parents are civil & in sure no one will bring anything up to start a fight. But I would just like everyone to be comfortable & not put in a strange situation. If I do put grandparents between the in laws, which side of grandparents should I put there?

VD & M&SC--My parents have been divorced since I was 6, I am TERRIFIED of them being in the same room together let alone sitting close to each other. Then you have alcohol in the mix....I totally understand the anxiety that comes with this. I plan on having them in the same row....but separated by as many people as there can me.

What VM said. Both my parents and his are recently divorced. They can suck it up and be adults for a day. They sat next to each other. Grandparents sat wherever, they weren't part of the processional.

Following. My parents had a nasty divorce 6 years ago (after being married almost 40 years) and I absolutely do not want any friction.

Even FH's divorced parents, who were NOT civil, managed to sit down in the same row for FH's brother's wedding. Just tell them to sit down and shut up for the duration of the ceremony, and then seat them separately at the reception. Maybe seat a buffer grandparent or sibling or close friend in between them, but definitely keep them both in the front row lest they think you're "snubbing" one set.

I always have them sit in the front row, possibly separated a bit.

Honestly? I've never seen outright hostility during a ceremony, so I'd just let them know to go to the front row and let it go.

Not all parent's can "sit down, suck it up and act like an adult." I think that is the issue here....

If your parents had a nasty drawn out divorce and still hate each other even though its been X amount of years, I feel ya!

Now one parent is going to feel less included than the other (even if thats not the case at all) so thats going to play on their emotions on an already emotional day, oh look a bar lets have some alcohol, oh god the new wife/husband....this is a true fear for a lot of people.

Then you have parents who put themselves first (my mom). They can't put aside that its OUR day. In some way shape or form, spotlight has to shine on them too. So god forbid if you take 6 more pictures with your dad than you did your mom, shit is going to go down. Now lets mix in the step parents! Thats even more hatred for the fire.

The last time my mom made an ugly comment about my dad was when the Powerball was outrageously high even though she had been drinking her words were "if I ever won powerball I'd hire a hit man have your dad killed." For the record this was after my mom asked if my dad was pitching in for the wedding at all....

Not all divorced parents are created equally, and I totally understand the real fear people have about this exact situation.

One father refused to sit on the same side of the aisle as his ex.

But, most of the time, everyone sucks it up and sits where they're supposed to.

They need to be adults for a short period of time so their kid can get married! My parents are divorced and not really civil but they never have issues when they come to things that pertain to my brother sister or myself. They've been to my sons baseball games and things of that nature without problems.

In a lot of the pp's cases, there's a lot of open hostility in their parent's divorce (mine included). @M&SC if your parents are civil with one another, you could always approach them to see how they feel about sitting near each other. In my case, my dad is very frank in his disdain for my mother. Telling him to sit down and shut up is not going to work. In your case though, they may be able to put their feelings aside.

If two people can't grow up and act like adults to sit civilly for the sake of their child's wedding ceremony, for heaven's sake, I would sit them in the back row. They don't deserve to sit in the front.

Both of our parents are divorced, but only my parents have new relationships.

My Mom is sitting in the front row with my stepfather, grandfather & my godmother/aunt who is walking him down and my great aunts.

My dad is sitting in the next row, with his girlfriend, my grandmother & her sisters (& their husbands).

For FHs parents, since neither of his parents are bringing anyone, they are going to sit together in the first row of his side, with his siblings spouses.