Ceremony only option

I think that's better as a word of mouth type thing.

If they're invited to both ceremony & reception, why have they already expressed to you they only want to to go to the ceremony? Is that because they don't think they'd be invited otherwise?

I would just have one list, send invites to everyone for the entire wedding, and let your guests RSVP accordingly, I would not add an option on your RSVP card like that. That might be confusing and weird for some guests.

I agree with Ang you don't want to make it confusing. Oh and I'm not sure if you are familiar with how the RSVP works on the website, but if you do your RSVP through WW it has the option to RSVP to both the reception and ceremony or just one.

@fresh yes I think that may be the thinking for some. I have not confirmed or denied who will/will not be invited this early in the game. It's people who have been very close to fh and I at work so I would like to invite them. Just wondered if this was something proper etiquette-eise. I'm hearing a resounding no. Thank you!!!

It's definitely against etiquette to invite them to one and not the other, but it doesn't sound like that's your plan.

I would just finalize your list where you are comfortable, and send invitations accordingly. If someone has a reason they can't attend one or the other, I think they can let you know separately.

@natasha, I was not aware of that. We are planning to use the ww site. Thank you.

I'd just invite everyone to everything. If the church is big enough to handle the RSVP's that say no to the party but want to come to he ceremony, then you don't really have a problem. You can let people know via WOM that they are welcome to come to the ceremony if they'd like.

I ran into that same issue. I didn't include it on our RSVP cards and gave the option to respond through our (which is through WW.) I got an RSVP from one of FH' s uncles saying he and his kids were attending ceremony only and slipping reception. I thought that I was just not up to date on a new trend or something.

I have my RSVPs set where they can RSVP to the ceremony and reception separately (everyone is invited to both). It is easy to do on the Knot website and my venue coordinator said expect a lot of people only coming to one or the other because we're have the ceremony and reception in different places.

Agreed re: being confusing on a printed card. However, if you have them RSVP online, I know some sites like Withjoy (which I am using) allow you to provide additional questions or leave space for guests to provide a comment. Ex. I am going to ask a question along the lines of: "Do you have any food allergies or restrictions we should know about or is there anything else you would like to add" and leave the answer open-ended. (Inviting some people who may keep kosher so want to know what I'm working with).

You send them a formal invitation -- the same invitation you send every other guest. If they plan to attend only the ceremony, they will decline on the RSVP, which is all you need to know (as the RSVP is about serving them, not providing a space at the ceremony, something that is easily handled on the spot).

I would assume that these "ceremony only" guests will feel compelled to explain, via a short note -- probably on the back of the RSVP -- that they are only attending your ceremony. They will say, "We look forward to attending your ceremony, but must decline the reception invitation." When that happens, it's a 50/50 chance that they'll actually attend the ceremony. Just have enough chairs available. That's all you have to do.

I would never dream of splitting the invites. Was invited to a wedding where the church held 400 and the reception hall held 100. We were told we were invited to both but received a church only invite....sent our regrets with a nice card.

Another we were invited to reception but mob said that was a mistake. My parents went to ceremony on verbal invite of mob....bride was shocked. So much awkwardness.

I don't want to put people in those situations, let alone have to explain why someone was only invited to one part not the other. Idk how people can face their "friends" with that.

Co-workers may not be around a year from now. Certainly, don't give them STDs.