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Beginner June 2020

Ceremony list differ from reception

Billie, on November 11, 2019 at 3:29 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
Ok..I’m at a big choice right now. What are your thoughts of having the ceremony guestlist different from the reception guest list? I want my ceremony to be very intimate so I would invite just close friends and family. But they would also come to the reception. Then I would invite some friends and family to just the reception. But the ceremony & reception are at the same location. Help!! Is this weird? Give me your thoughts..please!!!!!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on November 12, 2019 at 1:54 PM
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    As long as everyone from the ceremony is also invited to the reception, you're not breaking any etiquette rules there! Lots of brides prefer to have an intimate ceremony and still want to celebrate with friends and family. That being said, I do think it might be a little tricky given that they're at the same location. Unless you have a gap of some sort (like cocktail hour or even family photos)! That way the ceremony isn't taking place while reception guests are arriving. I would shoot for a thirty minute gap at the very least between end of ceremony and beginning of reception to avoid this, preferably an hour.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    My husband wanted to do this, but I immediately vetoed idea. His friends also didn't agree with his idea. Friends and family want to be there to watch you get married so I think it is wrong to invite people just to the reception and not the ceremony. The point of a wedding is to watch the couple get married.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    The only way this isn't rude is if the ceremony is immediate family only, as in parents, siblings and grandparents. You will absolutely have hard feelings if you invite some "close" friends and not other friends or some aunts and uncles and not others.

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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    I agree with this completely.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Caytlyn said it so well. Please invite everyone to both the ceremony and reception, or just make it immediate family!

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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    My son and his wife did exactly this for their wedding. The ceremony was very small and intimate and they had a much larger reception. Everyone was fine it’s your day so do why you want.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    If your ceremony and reception are at the same location, then I do see it getting a little awkward if some of the "reception only" guests arrive early and catch the tail end of the ceremony.

    If you really want a small ceremony and bigger reception, it may be ideal to have your ceremony and a "reception" on separate days. I think this is a know your crowd thing.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Why would you invite people to celebrate an event they're not invited to? If you want to have a small intimate wedding, do that, and own it. There's nothing wrong with not including everyone, But I think there is something wrong with inviting a select few to a ceremony, and then a bunch of additional people to the "thank you for attending our ceremony" party (ps. that's what a reception is - a thank you to your invited guests for attending your ceremony).

    If you MUST do this, keep it to immediate family only, no exceptions, at the ceremony. Personally, I still think this is tacky, but technically is ok etiquette-wise.

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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    My friends did something similar and I didn’t hear any “reception only” invitees complain. Their ceremony site had a max limit of ~30 people. So it was truly their nearest and dearest. About 70 or so attended the reception
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  • B
    Dedicated December 2019
    Brenda ·
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    Hi Billie,

    I personally would not do this because I think its rude. Even though it is your day I see it as everyone who is invited to the ceremony should be invited to the reception and vice versa. But that is just my opinion!! I hope you find whats best for you.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I agree with this!

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