Ceremony Invite but No Reception Invite

I would send invitations to everyone whom is invited to both. For your church family their open ceremony invite is usually posted in a church bulletin board/word of mouth.

Thank you! We developed an Option A....now for B & C.

People in the church will want to visit with you before you go to the reception.

Maybe consider a punch and cake social before the reception.

Thank you, I like that idea. We can use the fellowship hall for that. Then leave for the reception. Option A&B are set just need an option C.

So, usually this is considered extremely rude. The reception is meant to thank your guests for coming to your wedding, so thanking some and not others isn't the best way to go. If it were me, I would put my foot down about the guest amount and leave it at that.

The punch and cake reception isn't bad either, but I might be salty if I only got punch and cake and other people got a full meal.

I can see how it would be different if the extra people didn't get an invite, and if it was clearly written in the bulletin that the ceremony was open but the reception is invite only. Honestly though, it would still leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

Thank you. That's what I'm trying to avoid...we will have to have another family meeting my parents and his because people will be travelling.

This is very, very common in church situations; it's not rude at all and it's not considered a 'tiered' reception

You announce the wedding ceremony via bulletin or from the pulpit. You send invites to those invited to both.

Do a quick punch and cake thing after the ceremony and off you go.

That really is the only option unless you opt out of the open church entirely.

And no announcements are necessary.

Thank you!! I think we may have to go with that.

Thanks @Kate & @Celia!! I now have a game plan for when we have our family meeting.

I don't know why church members would have negative feelings about coming to the wedding and doing cake and punch, but not being invited to the bigger reception. If they didn't receive an invite and heard about it via word of mouth/church bulletin board, they know they aren't the nearest and dearest of the bride and groom. They can choose not to show up for the ceremony or cake and punch. Plus by virtue of being members of the church they are all local, so it's not like you're poorly hosting a bunch of people who traveled to attend your ceremony.

I would just not do an open ceremony personally, but if it's important to you or your family to include the church - which is reasonable - then cake and punch sounds like a perfect solution.

Thanks @Stephanie. His dad being a Pastor, his church family (I'm assuming but I'm probably right lol) feel like they deserve to be invited to both, they've known him all of his life, etc. I just don't want any awkward or sideways looks or comments when I come to church. "/

You can always tell by the answers to this question, who is familiar with church wedding customs and who isn't.

Church members are invited to the ceremony by an invitation in the church bulletin and/or verbally by the pastor, because the church is open at all times to its' members. That means that church members are free to drop in and witness any wedding ceremony they choose.

Often very simple punch and cake refreshments are provided following the ceremony in the church hall. The guests who receive formal wedding invitation usually leave the ceremony to go to the cocktail hour/reception, but are welcome to mingle if they so choose.

We had about 30 people come from our church that weren't invited to the reception. The pastor announced it, then people showed up. I've grown up in that church, so people wanted to come! We did a receiving line (for all 185 who attended our ceremony) at the doors of the sanctuary so we could say thank you to everyone. We did have iced tea and lemonade with cookies in the fellowship hall, but DH and I didn't hang out too long since we had to take photos. It was really fun seeing our church family there!

Thank you ladies for your responses. We have a lot to considered.

Wording is important. Usually if you get an "announcement" to a wedding (that does not explicitly say "invitation") you are NOT REALLY invited to the wedding or the reception unless a card is included with details that say "invitation" and usually a pre-printed RSVP card, even if it is just cake and punch after - just so they know how many cups and plates to put out. Others closer to the couple might get a second card inviting them to a follow-up dinner/lunch reception if having one. If you get just an "announcement" it is only that, and an invitation to send a gift if you wanted - that a gift would be accepted AND that you are special enough to warrant being included in the good thoughts. Some people don't want to be thought of as gift-grabbers, and there is no obligation to send a gift, but it help could heal old wounds if there were any. No one should ever be offended (and they need to remind themselves) because weddings are the way the couple want their wedding, not the guests.