Ceremony ideas to include future stepdaughter

A necklace/locket is a sweet idea. Maybe a line or two of your vows can include language about vowing to be a family and during that part all 3 of you can join hands together.

Please get chairs for your guests--standing during an entire wedding ceremony is uncomfortable.

@Leeann the ceremony will only be about 10 minutes long, do you think that's too long to stand? We're probably all going to walk from the hotel to the ceremony (about one block) together. So it's very informal, not like guests will show up and have to wait for us to get there or anything like that.

My 9 year old is our "ring bearer" (she doesn't want to be called that though). She's in charge of our rings! If you get a box for them, it will be something she can carry and not lose track of!

I was six when my mom married my stepdad, and they had the officiant say a few lines about family, and I was presented with a necklace similar to the photo (mine is a better quality metal, I think). I had no idea I was to be included in the ceremony, so it definitely came as a nice surprise

Following. My FD will be 13 and I've been in her life since she was 3. Trying to figure out some way to include her beside just standing with the wedding party.

I got mine a ring that I put on a necklace and was going to read vows to her. I also got her her own dress different from the flower girls dresses and she's walking out right before me by herself to the same song I'm walking out to. I also had her chose the wedding date and colors. I wanted her to feel included.

My friends used a blanket and did a family knot type thing. It was cute

@Jillian - Very cool necklace, do you know the meaning behind it or what the name of the symbol is called?

@Kashawn - That's awesome she's so included! FSD also chose our colors. :-) It's fun to have them so excited about wedding plans. Could you share the vows you're going to read to her? We're in the process of writing our ceremony with our officiant and I would love to read something to her, but I don't want her to feel like all eyes are on her or anything...if that makes sense!

I haven't finished writing them yet. Lol. Writing vows are so much harder than I thought. Lol. But I'll be letting her know that I love her unconditionally, that I'm lucky to be able to help raise a beautiful, caring, smart and quirky girl. And that she makes me want to be the best version of myself everyday. And I'm going to end it with what I tell her every night; my love for her is as big as space. Always expanding but never ending.

In addition to what you are doing (which sounds great) can she be standing at the top of the steps with FH and then after the ceremony walk back down with both of you. (I would suggest in the middle but I know that kinda takes away from your special moment with FH).

Maybe your officiant can include language about being a family as well as language about husband and wife. When you're saying your vows, make vows to each other but include a sentence or two about FD. Something like, "FH, I love X, Y and Z about you and I vow to be a good wife to you and a good mother to FD." Something short and sweet so she is included, but not too much if you're worried about her becoming shy about having longer vows said directly to her.

Definitely recommend chairs, or at least plan for some. Also, what are you going to do if it rains and you're not walking over from the hotel? Or if guests leave early and are waiting at the courthouse and you're running late? I was at a wedding where the bride was about 20 minutes late and we walked over to the ceremony site and then had to stand around for 20 minutes waiting for bride and then another 20 minutes for ceremony and then walk back to reception site. Not fun in heels--and this was also a very casual wedding.

Guests will likely show up before the exact time you plan on getting married so they will be standing for more the 10 minutes, and they may be unsure of where to stand so they aren't in the way since there is no aisle.

And since FDIL is shy maybe you should do something private beforehand so she won't have to feel nervous in front of everyone

My daughter will be 6 at my wedding to SO (he's not her father but he's known DD since she was 2.5.)

We are doing a lot of the same things you are. My idea was to have SO give her a gold pendant necklace privately after the ceremony.

We also have talked about including her in our first dance, after the MC opens the dance floor to all of the other couples.

Do you have a bridal party? If she is shy, maybe just having her be the MOH or a bridesmaid?

My 6yo daughter will be my MOH and also her future step-mom's MOH (my ex gets married in April). She is so excited!

We are also doing a sand ceremony with my DD and DS, but that sounds like it may not work with your venue.

Oh, never mind... I see you already have a bridal party!

We're using ribbons to do a handfasting ceremony with the kids. One of the ribbons my daughter and I wilk pick out, one FH and his son will pick out, and the third will be a color we all pick out together. I'm going to braid the ribbons together and then also make braided bracelets for all of us to wear.

ETA: the kids will be six and four at our wedding.

I'd mention her in the ceremony (do not make her say anything). I like the locket and the handfasting ideas.

Thank you so much for all your input! I really like the handfasting idea! I agree @Celia on not making her say anything, she would definitely clam up! @Nicole I hadn't thought about using the ribbons for braided bracelets, that's a very cool idea. I was reading up on handfasting last night and saw some ideas where they took the knot and put it in a shadow box and displayed it in their house, which is also a nice idea.

Hope you all have a great weekend!