Ceremony ideas for family member officiating wedding?

I googled typical ceremony layout and edited from there to fit us, our friend will officiate so i will give him my thoughts & ideas so he can make it his own about 6 weeks out. its simple and goes through each "step" but no extra readings or unity events, other than ring exchange.

we wrote our own repeat after me vows.

http://www.littleweddingguide.com/the-ceremony/wedding-ceremony-format/

You know what my advice is; get a pro. I had a long conversation with one of my venue directors this weekend, and their frustration with family members/brand new clergy is endless. Ceremonies that are too long/not long enough, (so cocktail hours/ receptions get screwed up), no experience with creating a processional/taking care of sound issues/signing and filing licenses and a wealth of other issues that crop up because this mistaken concept that someone who knows you can do a better job than someone who actually knows how to do this work.

Some family members can be great; indeed, better than a crappy pro officiant, of which there are many. But a month out and no ceremony ideas yet? That's a stressful thing.

I'd offer to send you a ceremony, but I've done that twice for two brides here who were in a real bind and not so much as an emailed 'thank you afterwards'. And that's just wrong.

Perhaps you can contract a professional to work with you to design and write the ceremony, so that your Uncle has a good script to work from. You've put so much time and planning into your wedding celebration. And really, everything else about your wedding day (the venue, the food the decor, the music) is for your guests. The ceremony is the one part of the day that is completely about you and your fiance. Of all the elements of this experience, is the actual wedding ceremony something you really want to leave to chance?

Yes to everything Celia has said with one addition.

You could hire a pro for their writing services. If personal is what you want, writing and speaking your own vows is where that would come in, if your ceremony is not professionally written. However, you are not sure if you want to do that and you're only a month away.

There are many, many, many, questions that we ask when writing a ceremony that a friend or family member will have no idea of and each answer steers the next question. Even the simple balance of how much to speak to you and how much to speak about you is important. To much about you and you become a spectator instead of the one making a life changing promise. Too much about marriage itself and it could be anyone's ceremony.

A nonprofessional has no clue of how much they don't know. So keeping it simple is always best. Sooner is also better than later. When I get a call days before a wedding saying they have no officiant it's usually a friend who has backed out.

Well my uncle is in the wedding business and has done a few weddings before, so he's not as inexperienced as you guys are assuming. I was trying more so to get ideas for how the ceremony would flow since having a family member officiate is a little more personal than with a complete stranger. I was working with an officiant through my venue and have his ceremony planning form I could pull from, which is what would be used if I continued to work with him. I will keep doing my research because I want to help him with ideas, plus we will have a rehearsal and plenty of time to go over the details.

Ditto what these other pros have said.

An aunt was not authorized to officiate, so the couple asked me to allow her to speak during the ceremony. She went on and on about the time the couple broke up and the poor couple looked sooo uncomfortable. I promise that I will not do that!!!

Respectfully, if he's in the wedding business, (unless he drives a limo or makes cakes) he should have an idea how this should flow and you should have a script by now. I get at least a call a week from someone who has had a friend or relative back out. You don't want to be making that call. Usually there are tears involved.

This is the 'kickoff' to the entire celebration, not to mention the only part that is actually necessary. It needs to be great, not okay, and I"m sorry, more personal doesn't alway make more sense than more professional.

Whatever entity authorizes him to officiate may have given him a basic sample ceremony.

Then he can use the format he usually uses for other couples and personalize it with info he knows about the 2 of you (you may want to have final approval -- see my post above).

I think unless your willing to do a lot of work get a pro! They know what they are doing and how to orchestrate it all (including directing your friends and family that are part of the wedding). They know how to handle things that go wrong and how to help if something goes off course.

But in my case we used a friend (who had done other weddings before) and it worked well because I wrote the whole ceremony and really only gave her small parts to insert whatever she wanted. She also had experience and we had a venue coordinator that directed the entrances.

I really really like the http://www.firstunitarianottawa.ca/uploads/2/1/0/6/21068182/newest_wedding_booklet_130909.pdf as a guide. I also did a ton of readings and other things to thicken it out. If you are going to have a family member do it make sure you are really clear on your expectations.

Have you secured a lapel mic and amplifier for your Uncle to use, so everyone can hear him when he speaks? And perhaps another for the groom, so people can hear you both reciting your vows? (Using a hand held is tricky when also having to hold a book and turn pages.) You can't assume that your sound person will supply this for you. And if they do, be sure to find out what the charge will be for a non-pro (not insured or bonded) to use their items. If the mics are wireless, you have to make sure that the signals won't conflict with the music feed, or with each other, or you get patchy sound. People forget about this/skip this all the time, and no one beyond the first 2 rows can hear anything, plus the recordings are muddy...