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Just Said Yes December 2020

Catholic Convalidation Advice

Laura, on December 16, 2019 at 10:40 PM Posted in Planning 0 3

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Hi Everyone!

So my BF and I plan to get engaged VERY soon and our plan was always to move in together once we do. My very catholic father recently shared that he is so uncomfortable with this, that he would not support or attend our wedding if we did live together before marriage.
This was upsetting for everyone for different reasons, but specifically for me because I really was looking forward to living with my partner and I just recently bought a home with him in mind and finances are tight as well.
My mother suggested that we get married at the court house soon after we get engaged and then get the catholic wedding at the end of 2020 like we planned. So convalidation.
Does anyone know if this reasoning for convalidation will be an issue with the Catholic Church/pastor?
Thank you!!

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on December 17, 2019 at 5:17 AM

Devoted January 2020
Laura · on December 16, 2019 at 11:47 PM
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No, the church is understanding of cohabitation. There’s a special part of the FOCUS test they make you do. And your pre Cana is guided differently if you cohabit.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on December 17, 2019 at 3:38 AM
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150% depends on the pre Cana.

DH and I tried for a Catholic wedding, did pre Cana, we were not remotely the only ones at our event living together... and, honestly? We were shamed for it.

(There's a reason we had a civil ceremony.)
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on December 17, 2019 at 5:17 AM
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This honestly varies so much by priest/church. Our priest allows couples to apply for a convalidation for your reasoning, but he requires that the convalidation ceremony is kept to a very small guest list. If you’re looking to make the convalidation a big, traditional event, I’d definitely check with your priest before moving forward with this idea.
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