Catholic Church

I did not know that. You could always have a lunch reception or a cocktail reception? Gaps between the ceremony and reception really suck so I'd recommend against that.

The Catholic churches in my area (MN) have the same constraints. Those same churches offer Saturday evening mass and confession, all starting at 4:00 or 5:00pm. I was married in a Catholic church and we were married on a Friday because we wanted an evening ceremony.

What do you do the rest of the day? ... well, have a full mass ceremony. That will take you to 3:00. Then a receiving line at the church. It will then be 4:00 before guests and family and bridal party leave. Depending on how far the reception venue is from the ceremony, start cocktail hour at 4:30 or 5:00. Dinner at 6:00pm. Boom.

My friend is having a catholic ceremony in October with a start time of 230, and she's the first wedding of the weekend (she had to provide the altar flowers because of this).

Are you planning on doing a first look, or pictures in between your ceremony and reception?

I found one church that does 2 PM and of course they are booked on my date , the only other option would be 12 pm to 1 pm my cocktail hour isn't until 5pm I may have to keep searching for churches that have later times so sad

Are you flexible on the date? Mine was at 3 and we had no gap.

My childhood church and church now are 2pm at the latest for start time.

Mine is at 1:30 til about 3pm and reception is at 5pm

@Patty, same here! We scheduled our time based on the Saturday evening mass time. Starting at 1:30pm, full mass. So we will have some time after to take pics with family before the weekend mass-goers start arriving.

Were having a Catholic wedding and our ceremony is 2pm. Most catholic weddings I've been to have been at 2, likely because of evening masses.

Yes, most Catholic ceremonies are in the morning or early afternoon on Saturdays. The latest wedding ceremony a majority of Catholic Churches will abide, as far as I know (coming from a family of Catholics), is 2:00 PM. The Catholic Church has other regularly scheduled, immutable events on Saturday -- including Confession and Saturday night mass, and they are not changing any of that for a parishioner's wedding. They have a clear cut, non-negotiable approach of "take it or leave it"

A Catholic bride already knows that marriage is a sacrament in her church. It's not as easy as hiring an officiant if she wants her marriage recognized by the church. If she is marrying a non-Catholic, wishes to have a licensed minister of another denomination officiate her wedding, or if she wants to be married by a deacon at a location other than the Catholic Church, she has to speak to her bishop. He can give her permission to follow any of these plans via something called "a dispensation of canonical form". He may, he may not. Yes, it's complicated, and all of it takes time.

If the couple decides to get married in the actual church, their guests will likely be facing a gap. It isn't necessary, but many couples opt to go this route. Why? In a nutshell, the couple want their Catholic Church wedding, but they also want their evening reception -- not something that starts at 3:30 in the afternoon and is done by 8:30 or 9:00 PM. Plenty of venues will do lunch or early dinner receptions, but more than a few Catholic brides want their cocktail hours to start at 6:00 PM or later. So, what do the guests do in those three or four hours between the ceremony and reception? They smile outwardly and bitch inwardly (they really do). Why? Because it breaks up the normal flow of a wedding and it leaves the guests with dead hours to kill.

Some couples think that handing out maps of fun things to do in the area solves the problem. Some believe that wedding guests like the idea of going back to their hotel rooms to watch TV, sleep, and freshen up before returning for the rest of wedding hour later (when attending another wedding, they don't need naps and freshening up between the ceremony and the reception). Some realize that many of their guests will skip the ceremony and just attend the reception,and if the couple accepts that, then there's no issue (unless you really love wedding ceremonies).

There is nothing fun about walking around Main Street in wedding clothes, hitting up a bar/restaurant, seeing a movie, going back to a hotel room, or visiting a museum when you're supposed to be at a regularly scheduled wedding reception. If you aren't local, but your home is a two hour drive from the ceremony/reception area, you can't go back home, and the thought of attending some kind of open house at someone's house for three hours isn't all that enticing either. In fact, it makes the wedding day a very long commitment for your guests. Why should any wedding require 12 plus hours of commitment (especially when three to five hours of that commitment are unhosted)? It's exhausting.

My personal opinion is that brides either have the Catholic weddings at 2:00 and begin their receptions at the conclusion of the ceremony (do it in the winter -- you'll get the evening appeal you're looking for), they should obtain their bishop rendered release and get married at their venue immediately prior to the reception, or they should not begrudge their guests for skipping the ceremony. The maps, the tours, the museums, the aquariums, the movie theaters, the bars, the open houses never sit well.

Most Catholic Churches if not all have the same routine. Mine is @1:00pm. I know a lot of guests will actually go ahead and go to the venue and just sit there. Not what I like but whatever floats there boat.

My ceremony is at 2pm and the cocktail hour will start at 4:30 but guests will be let in to find their seats and freshen up at 4:15. I really don't have an issue with an hour to an hour and a half long gap because I understand it's what often happens when you have a church ceremony. I won't complain if I have to go grab a drink and hangout with my FH before your reception starts. I grew up Catholic so this is the norm for me however a lot of people on weddingwire have different feelings. I went to my cousins wedding in May, they actually did a Lutheran ceremony, but the gap was about 2 1/2 hours so my FH, mom, dad, and brother, and I all went to one of my favorite bars and even though I was pregnant and couldn't drink I had a really great time just hanging out with my family.

I am Catholic and we have the same rules. We are planning on have a 5 pm ceremony on FRIDAY night with the cocktail hour starting at 6:30. My reception is in a separate location.

FutureMrsC., an hour plus gap is not something that often happens when you have a church ceremony -- it is a situation that happens when you want a church ceremony and you don't want an afternoon reception. You may have no issue with it, but read these forums -- plenty of people have a huge issue with these chosen gaps. I have fifteen Catholic cousins, and two Catholic siblings -- and all of those people have tons of Catholic children. Every one of those people HATE the gaps.

if you have no problem with your guests wandering around for over an hour, and if you believe that letting your guests into the reception area an hour and fifteen minutes after the end of your ceremony to find their seats and freshen up (in 75 minutes, they've probably already freshened up twice), then you have no problem with it. If you've done it for others, sure, I guess you have a certain level of belief that they owe it to you to endure the almost 1.5 hour gap.

The big misnomer here is that this gap -- whether it's an hour or four hours -- is unavoidable. The Catholic Church is always painted as the culprit, but that's unfair and untrue. Catholic couples can hire caterers and venues to host them at any time, and photographers, DJs, florists, etc. will show up when you want them to.

I know, for the brides that take this route, it's not that bad. Speak to the 50 and 60-somethings driving their 80-something mothers, aunts, and grandmothers two hours in each direction -- from their homes to a ceremony, then to three hours of nothing, and then back to a cocktail hour and a four./five hour reception. These people are exhausted and they leave after dinner. Does that matter? It's not a form of protest -- it's a form of exhaustion. Who can blame them?

I will never understand why this is always presented as a situation that simply cannot be addressed without adding hours of nothingness on the wedding day.

Rebecca, I just saw your post. That is exactly what my "evening reception" family members do. The wedding is on a Friday night. It's a winner -- Catholic wedding, evening reception, and no gaps. Kudos to you for figuring it out.

ETA: Fabiola, really? You just wrote, "I know a lot of guests will actually go ahead and go to the venue and just sit there. Not what I like but whatever floats there boat." Whatever floats THEIR (not there) boat? This is your opinion of your guests -- those who traveled and have envelopes filled with cash and beautifully wrapped gifts for you? Whatever floats their boat? Harsh. What are you offering them in lieu of sitting there doing nothing while floating their proverbial boats (in consideration of the fact that they are only "just" sitting there because they, in an act of love and support, chose to attend your long and drawn out wedding)? How about a cocktail hour?

I'm not getting married in the church, but I grew up Catholic and every Catholic wedding I've been to has had a 2pm start. I think that's pretty standard. I have no gap advice...every one I've been to has had one.

The best advice is to close the gap. Have the cocktail hour and reception immediately following the afternoon ceremony. Why is this such a difficult concept?

OP, did you book everything for your reception before looking into a ceremony location and time? If so, see what you can do to shift the reception to earlier to close the gap. Remember that the ceremony is the most important part of the day, not the reception. If you can only get married at 1pm, then plan everything around your 1pm ceremony. It seems like you are trying to do things backwards.

I 100% agree with Centerpieces about why gaps are bad.

No I am getting married in Catholic Church and my wedding is at 3:30 but there are 3 weddings that day.

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