Catholic church wedding

View Quoted Comment Thanks a lot Cara. We have been looking at Sacred Heart, Saint Boniface, Mary on the Mount and Immaculate Heart of Mary. I will look into Saint Stanislus.

View Quoted Comment I love St Mary on the Mount! That’s where we wanted too but they were super strict.

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Did you guys already talk to the priest and does he know your fiancé is a new member?

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Yes they are. After reading their rules, I decided not to bother. Sacred Heart is now my first choice, and I hope they're not as strict. I wil also check with St. Stanislaus.

View Quoted Comment Yea he knows. We also aren’t doing a mass tho and our wedding won’t be in the church (I’m Jewish so I felt my family would be more comfortable in a neutral setting). So we are still having the priest marry us, it just won’t be a full catholic mass type of thing. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t matter the length.

This does not make sense. What are the churches you both grew up in/were confirmed in? Unless you moved away, those churches should accommodate you no problem. My parents are members at my church and I was confirmed there. Idk if that means I am a member too. I don't pay dues, my mom does.

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My fiancé grew up/baptized/confirmed in Virginia, and has since lived in Chicago, Nashville and New York and now Pennsylvania. I grew up/baptized/confirmed abroad. I was attending a church in Akron, Ohio but moved to Pa a year ago.

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Ahhh yes that's tricky! I live in PA too. I knew those church names sounded familiar although not sure if we are in the same area. I would think that "activeness" shouldn't matter if you went through a process of becoming a member at a church you like. I would think $$$ is what they're looking for. That donation each week or month. Idk. Still seems like weird stipulations to me! You'd obviously donate a sum to the church for doing a wedding. We are having my FH's pastor marry us outside and they ask for a $200 donation to the church. It's not Catholic though.

I am having a Catholic wedding and am not a very active member of the church nor is my FH. Granted our families are huge supporters of the church we are getting married at so this may have helped my situation! We do have to wait 6 months to get married but that is just a rule our diocese has.

I wonder if this may be related to having to go to marriage counseling which is required by our diocese before a couple is married. Sometimes this is just a few meetings with the parishes priest but some parishes have weekend retreats. Maybe in the churches mind if you become parishioners they can connect you with other couples going through the same steps as you.

I'm just guessing!

Warning...tough love ahead...I think you need to reassess whether you truly WANT to get married in the Catholic Church. According to your statement, it doesn't seem that way but perhaps I'm misunderstanding:

"I also feel it's wrong to "just" attend church because we want to meet the requirement for having our wedding there."

Personally, I attend church because I enjoy going to mass, not "just" so I can get married within the Catholic faith. Are you sure you aren't receiving influence from parents to have a Catholic wedding when it's not really a religion you see yourself committing to again?

If you really want to become serious about your Catholic faith again - (1) Register as a parishioner and attend mass EVERY week (2) Talk to the priest about rejoining the faith again and consider going to confession. (3) Reach out to past priests that can maybe "vouch" for you. (4) Is there anyone you see/talk to when you attend mass? The more people to build your case of being attendees is helpful. For example, my brother has attended a church for the past 8 years but never officially "joined." (Guys lol ) I'm sure someone notices him there every week though ya know?

I am getting married in a church I have never attended in my life but all my marriage prep is being conducted through my current parish so it's definitely possible to get married in a church you aren't a member of.

The Catholic Church is strict, but it's for a reason. Yes, all are welcome at church but the sacrament of Catholic marriage is reserved for those who have shown their commitment to the faith. As cruel as it sounds, that's just the way it is.

Sorry for the all the seriousness of my post, I'm a diehard Catholic haha. Good luck talking to your priest, prayers that it all goes well!

My fiancé and I are in a similar situation. We have gone to mass on our own, with his family, or with my family but don’t belong to a single parish. He works out of town most of the time, and I am moving away to start medical school in July. His grandparents ended up speaking to their priest about our situation and they are going to marry us. I would say if your families are members of any churches, that’s a good place to start!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Nicole. Our families live out of town...but we went to the church we want and got booked. I’m so excited..I can officially start planning now😁

Ended up in a similar dilemma myself. My fiance and I went in and spoke with the priest. He recognized us from weekly mass, helped us figure out a timeline to complete the prep and we were anks to book the church, priest abd venue 😁