Catholic Brides....first meeting with priest?

I was very nervous to meet with our priest too. FH and I were both raised Catholic, but have gotten away from church since we became adults. It was important to us (me more than him) and our families that we get married in the church and start our lives together that way, even though we're not super active churchgoers. I think it was that wonderful Catholic guilt that made me so nervous, like the priest would think we were frauds or not let us get married or something.

We met with our priest and he is my age (27)! I felt more at ease because he was so young (only six months out of seminary). I wondered if we were one of his first engaged couples. He basically asked us a lot of questions about our lives, our families, how we met, our relationship, and about how church plays a role in our lives. We were honest, saying that it hadn't been a big part of our lives recently, but that it was important to us to complete the marriage sacrament. He then separated us and asked us a series of questions privately. He really just wanted to get to know us. Then we scheduled a meeting for a few months later just to touch base about how planning was going, and to talk about all the pre-cana counseling stuff.

Honestly, I was nervous for nothing (which I suspected before going into it, just like you). It will be fine! Also, your FH should be able to call the church where he was baptized and have them fax the baptismal certificate to the new church (that's what we did). Good luck!

Our first meeting with the priest went well. He took each of us separately to ask questions like "Why do you want to get married?", "Why do you think he/she is the one you want to marry", etc. He did touch on the subject of us living together, but didn't make us feel horrible about it. Then we signed the paperwork, he gave us information to register for our Pre-Cana and Engaged Encounter weekend, and that was it!

Thank you both for your input

I'm not Catholic but FH is. I'm not baptized and don't plan on becoming Catholic, but it means a lot to FH and his family that we get married in the church so I am very happy to do so. I was a little nervous about meeting our priest but he was very nice and did not bring up the fact that I am not baptized except to make sure we knew we couldn't do a full mass. At that first meeting the priest explained what we needed to do before the wedding in order to get married in the church- Pre-Cana class, test, second meeting with him to discuss Pre-Cana and test, then one more meeting to discuss logistics of the ceremony. He filled out some paperwork and explained that FH would need to show his baptism certificate and we would each need two witnesses to say that he is baptized and that I am not, that we have never been married and marry of our own will. He then talked to each one of us privately for a few minutes, asking those same questions.

I'm sad that he will not be the priest marrying us, as he is leaving the parish this summer. It took us a while to find a parish we both loved, that I feel comfortable going to, and this priest had been a big part in us loving it. We hope his replacement will be just as open-minded and friendly.

My uncle is a Catholic priest and FH is not Catholic or baptized. I'm going to be honest, unless FH has an annulment according to Canon law he can not get married in a Catholic church. Of course, not every Catholic church abides by Canon law 100% (even though they're supposed to). My uncle went through everything with us, and explained that the church still views all marriages until death or annulments, so in the eyes of the church your FH is still married... So if he has an annulment- YAY, if not I would start that process ASAP.

Exactly what Danielle said. I was not a Catholic nor was my ex husband, but I still need an annullment for my first marriage before they will even set a date in the church. Does not matter what denomination he was before he still needs an annullment. If he was a Catholic and was married outside of the church, then there is a simple lack of form to use instead. Believe me, annullments take lots of time and money. I am still waiting and I am like on my 6 or 7 month.

Also, I believe he would need 2 annullments if it was considered legal marriages. Talk with them on wed and see what advice they can give you. Best of luck to you! Sorry not to be a debbie downer either. Believe me, I am in the same boat!

Wow so he has to get an annulment even though he's not Catholic?????

His first wife died.

Yeah... I am so sorry. I am not 100% on both annulments but definitely for the 2nd wife.

Yes he still needs an annulment to get married in the Catholic church, even though he is not Catholic. He does not need an annulment for his first wife, but he needs proof of her passing. The Catholic church still recognizes his second marriage. I'm sorry.

I don't think you need 2. Looks like just one.

Wow omg. I guess it's a good thing we decided to push the date back. Ugh that kinda makes me not want to get married in the Catholic church.

Totally understand. We are trying decide what our next move is going to be if we don't get our nullity of marriage declaration in the next 2 months. We both had to do this. The questionaire we had to fill out was about 60 questions and we have to have witnesses of our first marriage to fill out one too. I don't know if it had that many questions though. I would still talk to them on wed. If you do need an annulment then hopefully they are much faster than ours.

Ya, my first and only major meltdown was as a result of Catholic rites of marriage... flash forward, its all worth it. makes the process slow but much more grounding... good luck

I'm getting married in 64 days and still haven't met with the priest. and yes, I'm starting to freak out.

@FutureMrsPurdy, why haven't you met with the priest yet?

Good luck with the annulment ... Hope it works out quickly!

Omg.... Hope the Anullment goes well for both of you ladies! And FH & I met with the deacon at our church and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. They pretty much just want to get to know you and make sure that the marriage they perform is full of nothing but love<3