Catering: fancy vs plentiful

So our venue provided in-house catering and they allowed us to create a custom menu since we wanted to do a buffet style (Pre-Covid) and none of their standard packages were buffet style. We made sure to pick normal foods rather than anything completely out of the box. I know for my brother-in-law's wedding I barely ate anything because their food was very unique. For example, they had chicken but it was covered in some type of sauce rather than offering the sauce on the side. They also had a very fancy salad whereas we picked a simple Caesar salad. I was very surprised because they had a more laid back wedding than ours, but their food was more unique. I think of that was I'm a picky eater so I made sure I picked foods that most people would like.

I can't say I ever left a wedding hungry. In my area, over the top cocktail hours with passed hor d'oeuvres and multiple stations are the norm, followed by a 3 course plated dinner with dessert served after the dancing has commenced. I'm usually stuffed by the time I walk out of a wedding. And the food is usually presented in a fancy way. Sure, the bites are small, but there are a lot of different options to sample, so you're able to try a little bit of everything. For example, my cocktail hour had 8 passed hor d'oeuvres, a carving station (with a pork loin and corned beef, a charcuterie and veggie display, a meatballs station, and a pierogies station. Then we had an appetizer, a salad, and an entree (goat cheese stuffed chicken breast, ribeye, salmon, or a vegan/vegetarian pasta dish).

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Bite size appetizers for cocktail hour makes sense. But there's a stigma that the main dinner entree needs to be the same portion size because it's for 'a fancy event".

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That makes sense, especially if anyone is a picky eater. It sounds like home with fuller bellies and overall more crowd pleasing.

Maybe your idea of a serving size is different than others. What you’re describing as a “full plate of food meat and potatoes” kind of meal sounds like way too much food for me. I’ve never left a wedding hungry. If they have a “fancy” meal with an 8 oz filet, it may look small, but is a proper serving size. Americans typically eat much larger servings than needed for substance and health.

I think the idea behind this is that the entree isn’t the only course in a wedding meal. I’ve never attended a wedding where less than 3 courses were served during dinner, and that’s all after a full cocktail hour with 5+ appetizer options.

One reason people go with lighter food at weddings is because when people are full they don't want to dance and mingle. It kind of takes away from the party experience when everyone is sitting down talking because they're too full to have fun.

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That makes sense

I completely understand what you’re saying, but I haven’t seen this being a “rule” to catering. I think a lot of catering companies use the small, fancy plated items as advertisement because they photograph better than a huge heaping plate of food. Beautiful pictures grab peoples interest, and get them more traffic to their website and social media accounts. A lot of very formal, upscale events, however, do tend to use the small fancy dishes, but there are significantly more courses than the standard three (so really just a fancier and more expensive way to get people full lol)

We are going with a 'fuller' meal, mainly because we are planning to heavily serve alcohol and don't want it turning into a frat party!

I love the bite size apps for a cocktail hour so you can socialize and drink without having to sit down with a full meal, but love a good wedding meal! I also will usually go through a drivethru afterwards either way - probably will for my own wedding, honestly lol - it just feels right after a night of drinking and dancing!

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I also noticed this while reading catering menus of regular options vs wedding where wedding options are almost always smaller with more exotic ingredients

View Quoted Comment And probably more expensive too! It seems like the moment you mention the word wedding, prices start to jump

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Exactly! One wedding I attended, the couple got a full spread of pans from a local Asian restaurant that was delivered (3 full size main entrees, 3 appetizers, 4 sides plus dessert. Everyone was able to get as much or little as they wanted and they still had energy to be on the dance floor. And plenty of leftovers for anyone to take home if they wanted and said it was the best food at a wedding.

View Quoted Comment I really enjoy unexpected food at weddings! I’ve never been to a wedding that has served local Asian cuisine, but I sure wish I had!

I've been to and worked at (as a catering server) thousands of weddings. I can't remember any that sacrificed "fancy" for "plentiful. So I think this is a false dichotomy, at least in my experience. I am definitely a substance over style person, so I would prefer that the food tastes good than be merely pretty (if I had to choose). But fancy and unfancy can both absolutely taste good, be filling, and look nice. It all comes down to the choices the happy couple make.

This might be a regional thing.

I'm in the same region as Hannah, and there's SO much food at most weddings. A wedding is considered badly catered if there's NOT a ton of food.

Food can be fancy, but also substantial.

I know people who stop and get food after a wedding because they've been dancing/drinking/partying for several hours AFTER the dinner (like, dinner was at 630/7, and it's now nearly midnight), or like me, they're hypoglycemic and have to eat every few hours, anyway.

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As a host or guest, I would much prefer substantial food and don't care about the fancy/exotic side at all that seems to be the requisite for wedding catering.

View Quoted Comment I think maybe we're using different definitions for fancy.


Fancy for me means more expensive food (nicer cut of beef, or use of saffron, or stuff that you'd find in an expensive restaurant), not avant garde or experimental.
So, wedding food here is just the super nice stuff you don't eat every day.

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That makes sense. The catering menus I have seen specific to weddings vs other events is small entrees that are experimental/avant-garde as you described. Very few if any are more expensive (nicer cuts of meat for example). Because that is the local demographic prefers?

I can't say that I have ever left a wedding hungry. My experiences growing up have mostly been at black tie weddings with fancy food. I agree with Rebecca's definition of 'fancy'