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Jasie
Dedicated September 2020

Casual Wedding, not-so-casual family

Jasie, on February 23, 2020 at 10:48 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13
Hi.

I'm getting married on 9/19/20, very recently engaged, so we just started planning.
I'm not girly or fancy, and my soon to be husband is laid back. My future in-law's however have been pushing for us to do more modern traditions. For instance we had one lunch with them and now we have a limo. Now, everything that they are adamant we have, but weren't planning on having, they have said they'll pay for. I'm glad that they wanna help and wanna make it a special day for us, but I want this wedding to reflect us. And we aren't limo people, for instance. Any advice on stating what we want without offending anyone???

13 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on March 8, 2020 at 5:10 AM
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
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    I’d say let your marriage reflect who you are. 99% of people aren’t limo people. It’s just one day. Let your self be spoiled/pampered and have the king/queen treatment on your wedding day. It’s not a big deals you could have worse problems. Enjoy it!
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  • Onya
    Expert October 2020
    Onya ·
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    How is it offensive to say no? You’re allowed to say you don’t want it. Maybe ask them to put that money into other areas of the wedding that is more you. Like decor or venue?
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Just be careful accepting money, it usually comes with strings. Why don’t you & your fiancé take some time to enjoy being engaged and plan the wedding you both want?
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  • Jasie
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jasie ·
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    Great way of looking at it. And we definitely could be having worse issues. Thanks!
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  • Jasie
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jasie ·
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    Definitely being cautious of it. All things considered we have definitely been enjoying it and spending time planning it, we made a lot of the decisions just us. We're super excited, and just want to make sure it's what we want while also keeping our families excited as well. Smiley smile
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  • Jasie
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jasie ·
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    They have been excited about the decorations so I'm hoping if I emphasize that enough that it'll stop them from trying to add a bunch of stuff we don't need haha. Smiley smile
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I think you both need to sit down right now and have a conversation with your in-laws and first decline the limo and to let them know that you both have the wedding that you envision and you want to keep with those plans. I think you need to nicely put your foot down now otherwise it can easily spiral out of control and I see bright on here often stress that their wedding is turning into something that it is not that they have wanted. You don't have to be rude about it but you need to start putting that feed and they're mine now so they don't start planning more things that you don't want. And ask pirate price said do not accept any money as that means they are going to feel they have control. If they really want to do something their way then maybe they can host a rehearsal dinner or host a shower.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    As long as you're polite when you decline their offer, I don't see the problem. Be sure to thank them for their generosity and then just explain that though you're grateful, you're planning to go in another direction. You don't need to share details of the wedding with them, just say that you want them to be surprised.

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  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
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    I mean a Limo isnt terrible unless you absolutely don't want it why not ride in style for this once in a lifetime affair. Just make sure that you guys keep your vision along the way. Theres no reason to decline help if it's unwanted but dont be unrealistic that they are just super happy for you guys .

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  • A
    Savvy November 2020
    Agarb ·
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    Is there a different car that's more your vibe that would be cool to be picked up in? Maybe something vintage or more fitting to your personalities - that way you can frame it as a spin more than decline.

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  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
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    I would tell them you are you FH have a specific vision for your wedding day and them explain to them what you have in mind.

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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    It's your wedding follow your heart

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    It is not a timeshare, it is a wedding. If every time she wants something you don't want, she offers to pay , with no regard to the fact you just, plain, don't want it, pretty soon she will have bought rights to 40/52 of your wedding. It won't feel like yours, or even mostly yours. Be a little flexible, things you don't much care either way, but don't take money for what you do not want. And watch the mounting total. Because if as time goes on toward actual invitation time, they decide they want 20 more people of theirs, and that would mean a mess, or cutting 10 couples of your friends, you do not want to hear, well we paid half the money going into this wedding, and think we should get at least 40 guests of our choosing. Or whatever.
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