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Just Said Yes September 2019

Casual Reception/formal Ceremony

Kara, on October 16, 2018 at 11:06 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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I really want to know if there's any special invitation wording I should use to indicate that my reception will be very laid back but the ceremony is traditional. My ceremony will be a Catholic Mass at my local town church at one pm, immediately followed by a reception at a close by location. What this means is that it will be an hour long and it will have a very ritualistic feeling to it and will be heavily focused on tradition and being formal. The dress code would be more along the lines of going to church on Easter - nice dress/sundress or blouse and slacks for women, and a suit or just a dress shirt for men. I'm going to wear a knee length dress and my FH is wearing a black suit.
However I really hate being the center of attention so the reception will be much more laid back. It will be a the civic center and we're catering Chipotle with some appetizers (for those who don't love burritos) and margaritas. There will be cupcakes but no cake cutting/feeding each other. There also won't be any dancing, best man speech, bouquet tossing, or any of those traditions. It will basically be like big family reunion of 150 people. Is there anything I can say in the invitation to prepare people or do I just need to do whatever I want and ignore anyone who isn't happy with all the tradition-breaking? I'm putting in the invitation "holy matrimony" and "Nuptial Mass" to prepare people for that part but I'm worried it makes it sound like the whole thing is formal and traditional, even the reception

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Megan , on October 16, 2018 at 3:26 PM

Super June 2019
Kelci · on October 16, 2018 at 11:36 AM
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You could include in the reception information. Where it’s at and non-formal. I’m not sure how else you could put it. But seeing the nuptial mass would only make me think of a formal catholic ceremony.
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VIP November 2018
starsinwaves · on October 16, 2018 at 11:53 AM
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I'd do a separate reception card explaining that it's informal. You can't tell people what to wear to your ceremony, though. And I especially don't think you can expect men to wear suits when you're wearing a short dress.
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Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on October 16, 2018 at 11:58 AM
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I'd also do a separate reception card letting people know the reception will be casual as well as the location and start time. Your actual invite should only have ceremony info on it. I wouldn't mention a dress code or anything. Let people wear what they dream appropriate. Most people will see its a catholic mass and know to dress for a church wedding.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Kara · on October 16, 2018 at 12:32 PM
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Hi guys! Don't worry, I'm not going to tell people what to wear. It's just what most people I know will wear based on the type of ceremony. I was just giving background for anyone who hasn't been to this type of ceremony. Just because I'm wearing a short dress doesn't mean it won't be fancy. Long dresses just aren't me ( I even wore a short dress to prom). Really I'm just searching for invitation advice if there are any language gurus out there. Otherwise I'll just leave it alone and let the guests figure it out themselves based on the time and place, lol.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on October 16, 2018 at 1:44 PM
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I’d probably phrase it as “casual reception” as much as possible (on website, on invite [“casual reception to follow”], on details card). I put all the info I could on my wedding website so people would be adequately mentally prepared for the vibe (perhaps the opposite of what you’re describing- backyard/beachfront, but with all the formalities and accomodations of a traditional wedding, so I provided lots of info about the day’s events on our website, and included the website on/as a details card with the invites)... plenty of people didn’t ever look at the website, but I did what I could !
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VIP January 2019
Megan · on October 16, 2018 at 3:15 PM
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Curious....how are guests supposed to go from their "formal" ceremony attire to their "casual" reception attire if they are immediately after each other? I guess I'm just confused logistically? I would assume people won't change and therefor you do not need to indicate your informal reception.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Kara · on October 16, 2018 at 3:19 PM
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Thanks that is very helpful! I honestly haven't even thought about making a website
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Kara · on October 16, 2018 at 3:25 PM
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Hi Megan,
It's not really about the clothing, they can definitely stay in the same outfits. It's really about how people will know what's going on. Basically I'm planning to skip all the reception traditions that put me directly as the center of attention. This includes the grand enterance, the mother/son & father/daughter dance and dancing in general, the bouquet/garter toss, the cake cutting, and the send off. My concern is that all these things are basically what makes up the timeline of how people know what's going on and how they know when it's okay to leave. I was hoping there was a way to skip all those things but not make all my guests sit there confused waiting for something that's not going to happen.
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VIP January 2019
Megan · on October 16, 2018 at 3:26 PM
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OHHH Ok I get it. Since so much of your original post focused on clothes I thought that’s what you meant. On the invite where most people put “reception to follow” is probably put “picnic reception” or “casual reception”
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