Cash over gifts

I don't think there really is a polite way to say it. I totally get it it, my fiancee and I don't need anything either. Honestly at the weddings i've been to there is few to no gifts and mainly cash or checks in cards. I wouldn't register for anything then, that could be confusing. If anyone asks where you're registered you can just say you all all the household things you need so your not registering. I think most people would get the hint.

I wouldn't ask. I just wouldn't register and people will get the hint you want cash. You'll have to skip a bridal shower but that's not a huge deal.

You could also set up a registry that mostly contains gift cards or a honeymoon fund. People should get the hint then.

Yea I think if you've a registry that's just gift cards and honeymoon fund then people get the idea to just bring cash.

Are physical gifts common for weddings in your family and social circle? I haven’t seen anything other than cash or check brought to a wedding in a long time so as long as you don’t have a shower I would think you would get money. But if physical gifts are common then maybe a honeymoon fund would be better if that’s something that doesn’t offend your guests. I will say there will be people that will want to buy a physical gift no matter what so prepare for that.

I get where you're coming from, but I cannot imagine any way of saying, "give us money or don't bother with a gift" that doesn't risk coming across as rude. I don't think there is any possible way to say that in a "classy" way, but you know your guests and if you don't think they'll take offense then just straight up tell them. In my experience, many guests will give cash gifts, especially if there isn't a registry, and you don't have to say a thing and risk offending anyone.

If you don't register or have a very small registry, most people will get the memo and give cash

My uncle and his fiancee had just moved to a different state and therefore had already gone through combining 2 households worth of things. They ended up putting that on their wedding website as the reason they would prefer to not have gifts. (Also because it would take too much space in luggage to bring the gifts back with them to where they moved). Someone gave them a lovely crystal dish (and didn't read the website request!) and they ended up giving it to me since they didn't need/want it.

An easy way to say it would be something like "We are two grown adults with a full household of things that we have accumulated over the years. While we consider your presence as a gift there will be a drop box for cards or monetary gifts if you feel so inclined. Thank you."

That's pretty close to what my uncle and his fiancee had on their website. People will understand, you don't always need "stuff" and honestly cash gifts are much more helpful to people who have been in established relationships for a long time.

You don't. You are getting married, not panhandling. Just register for a few things or don't register at all.

I'm in the same boat. My plan is to not register and when asked say we've got an established home and gifts are not necessary. . .or something along those lines.

I haven't brought a gift/card to the actual wedding ever. When did that become the way to handle?

There is no polite way for you to ask for money as a gift. When other people ask you directly, what would you like the most, or ask your family THEN it is fine to say, we are saving for A,B & C. Do not make a registry for anything you do not want . Some people will never give a cash gift. For many generations in many cultures, money from any but older family has been considered crass, thoughtless, and missing the point, that wedding gifts are durable items to support the marriage long term. As opposed to cash, which can be blown on a vacation, gambling, or having fun. Your plea for money will not change these people's minds, but may convince them you are greedy and deserve nothing. And other than people with that common cultural mind set, nobody else needs to be told that money is no cell to have. But even those people will reduce your gift or give you nothing if they think you are rudely asking for it. They want to make the generous offer, not have you presume that they want to give you anything. So nothing written or said, unless people who want suggestions, ask what would please you.

Despite all of the cute-sy poems and signs on Pinterest there’s no nice way to say “Please don’t buy me a gift I don’t want it. Cash or nothing.”

Honeyfunds are a scam. Home-finds are a scam.

People know cash cash makes a good gift.

If if you don’t register or have a very small registry people will get the hint.

View Quoted Comment It isn't. Wedding gifts still should be sent or delivered, by you or a store/ service, before the wedding, or shortly after, except in a few specific cultures . But a lot of people in WW seem to follow manners as seen on TV and movies. Not traditional etiquette . Even cash gifts should not be brought to a wedding, but given before, or after, according to traditional social manners. Gifts are only brought to informal events, with a limited number of attendees, and never weddings. Showers are lesser/ and less formal parties, as are most birthdays, unless there is formal or catered service for a sit down meal, a ball, or other formal format. Then, gifts are not taken to the formal party, but brought or delivered before or after. Only small hostess gifts, which are never given at weddings, are usually hand carried, to any ceremonial event, or any formal one.
You are right, this etiquette has not changed.

View Quoted Comment

Yep, if I rec'd an invite with one of those horrid "Wishing well" poems I would respectfully decline.

I hosted (and paid for) a family reunion last summer (doing it again this fall!) and I hosted about 40 people, glad to do it. My sister was like, "Let's put out a tip jar!" I was HORRIFIED! No, no you won't!!!

Hi Amelia. My nephew just married in June & a coworker in July...in both cases, they just didn't register. I have been researching wishing well language, some are kind of cute.

A rude request ("Please give me money") is only made more offensive by trying to soften it with terrible "cute" verse. Not softened, not cute (though why would anyone want a cute wedding?), and usually not even verse.

I think this is becoming fairly normal! My fiance and I live together so we went on Honeyfund.com and set up a honeymoon fund and explained that we have everything we could need for our house, and that this would mean the world to us and the website is SUPER cute nd nice everyone has told us how much they love it. If you are not doing a honeymoon, you can still us the website and talk about how this would help you accomplish XYZ- I hope this helps!