Cash or Open bar???

Cash bar: To host an event is to pay for the event. Asking anyone to pay for their drinks is not hosting properly.

I know many people state budget when it comes to bar, but it is something that you know is needed, so plan for it.

Open bar: Guests are happy and are truly being treated as guests.

Cash Bar Pro - The Return on Investment of your wedding will be higher, because lets be honest that's all you care about when you refuse to cut the guest list and properly host.

Most guests will tip the BT with or without a tip jar, which I think is really tacky to see.

Most guests will tip the BT with or without a tip jar, which I think is really tacky to see.

I'd say to each their own but we all also have to consider that there are weddings that do not want alcohol at all, not because of the drunks in their families that they are close to but becuase of their religious beliefs. For this I'd say a cash bar is sufficient. People also need to consider that even though they are invited to celebrate two people coming together, that it is not about what they can get out of the bride and groom but to help them more than anything else. Though it seen to be polite to have an open bar for the guest, the guest also have to show consideration for the buget of the bride and groom. Not every parent is helping thie child in wedding expenses.

@Sharice If a couple is paying for a wedding on their own then those they need to plan the wedding they can afford, plain and simple! You don't invite 200 people when you can only afford to properly host 100!! I had one potential guest who I knew could not handle an event with an open bar and I made the decision not to invite that person. Adults should not have to suffer because someone else cannot handle themselves. Those suggesting using a cash bar as a way to deter overly drunk people, have you ever been to your local corner bar on a weekend? There are sloppy drunk people there that paid for all of their drinks. Having to spend money does not deter that behavior.

Nope, nope, nope. Don't even consider anything but an open bar.

Cash Bars:

Pros: The hosts gain the assurance that their wedding will be a socially lubricated, lively, and lengthy event without having to pay a penny for the one element they realize will turn their dinner/dancing reception into a totally successful celebration. So, they get the rocking party they want without having to deal with the price tag of the alcohol they also want.

Cons: Guests discover that there are cocktails available, but they're being served those cocktails -- at a private hosted event -- exactly the same way they would be at any restaurant or bar they patronize. Naturally, this doesn't sit well with them -- and why should it? When an individual goes to a public venue for dinner and drinks, they only pay for dinner and drinks, not additional charges for apparel, accessories, transportation costs, lodging costs, and a healthy gift cost.

Secondly, I've seen what happens at cash bar weddings. For those guests who have decided that they aren't waiting on a slow line to engage in several retail transactions, the idea of a liquor store run is suggested (because a few bottles of whatever from the liquor store is usually cheaper than bartended mixed drinks). This is when the door is opened to over-indulgence and mayhem).

Lastly, you cannot possibly know, with complete confidence, that everyone at your reception is fine with your cash bar set-up. They will talk -- to each other and in whispers -- and I've heard the unflattering things they say. In fact, on this forum, we've heard from quite a few people who actually deduct the cost of their cocktails from what is in the gift envelope. Yes, people do care.

Open Bars:

Pros: Guests are happy and having a great time because the spending is over once they cross the threshold to your venue. Cocktails are available, and the lines move quickly as no cash register and exchange of money is involved. The hosts have sent their guests a message that it matters to them that they have been well hosted in every way.

Hosts don't have to have a full, top shelf open set-up; beer/wine/signature cocktails are fine.

Cons: Properly hosting with an open bar means that the couple will have to look carefully at their guest list, their expectations, and adjust them if budget is an issue. They might realize that the photobooth needs to go in order to host a bar (and a majority of people will tell you that they'd prefer the open bar to the photobooth).

This is a topic that constantly resurfaces, and I've honestly tried to understand the mindset of those who feel selling anything at their wedding is acceptable -- especially such an important anything that goes a long way in giving more value to the money the couple has spent on other elements of the entire affair. To me, it's similar to announcing to your guests that three food trucks are pulling up (after dinner and later in the evening), and they're all welcome to go out and enjoy a late night snack -- as long as they have cash or a credit card.

@Sharice Under that logic, why stop at shirking the cost of alcohol onto your guests? If some of your guests are vegetarian for their own reasons don't offer any meat entrees for free and have a cash carving station...

@Kristin I say that because some want to please all of their guest, including the ones the drink. Some have after parties with a cash bar to satify their guests. It was not a cash bar at the reception but in the after party so it also depends when and where will they serve drinks. I personally do not see it offensive if there is a cash bar at a reception and I have been to lots of them that have cash bars. Times are different now. Cutting off guest list to fit a open bar may hit harder on the bride and groom espeically if they have not seen them in ages and want to reconnect with them and some do not have social media or updated incormation to stay in contact. To me, if you are going to talk badly about the bride and groom for having a cash bar at an after party or reception, they why even come to celebrate their union in the first place?

@PandaInLove I do have vegan and vegetarians in my family and had already had them in mind and found food options that are not costly to my budget. I am just stating that there is nothing really wrong with a cash bar. And I also stated at the very beginning "To each their own," meaning everyone does things their own way and don't be so offensive if it is a cash bar or open bar. They are not thinking less of their guest with a cash bar but only doing what their budget allows. Even if the cut cost anywhere and everywhere they can, it may not be enough for an open bar. I am just stating my opinion. No need to attack me for it.

Sharice? If one person drinks, they should be able to do so, and charging for alcohol to justlfy religious beliefs makes zero sense. "To each their own" makes zero sense either.

As mandi said above; if you can't afford everything for 200 guests, then you have 100. Your budget isn't sufficient if you can't offer even a limited bar.

Don't make me post THE LIST again.

I stand corrected on the security thing. Thanks. The vomiting thing? Nope. That stands.

It's not a booth at the county fair, you shouldnt be selling anything

Again NO NEED TO ATTACK ME OVER MY OWN OPINION

No. I have to disagrees with that. There is a difference when someone bluntly states their opinion and when it is just out right rude and I've seen a couple that was rude to me. Others comments to me, i respect, but not the few that was rude.

I wouldn't go, Sharice. I have like zero free time and in my free time, I prefer to be treated like an adult, especially after I've spent hundreds (and in my case, lost hundreds too) to come to a wedding. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that, do you?

You need to cut costs? LIke most people say in any thread with an OP lamenting about budgets (not this OP; this just took a different thread....) cut the guest list so you can afford your party.

We should probably be careful about stating unequivocally that a wedding "is" or "isn't" anything.

A wedding is a celebration of two people - that can take on a lot of forms depending on where you're from, what kind of family you have, what cultural you belong to, etc.

There are plenty of cultures where you invite the whole town, every extended family member that's alive, etc. It is a social event as much as is it as celebration of the union of two people. Lots of "reconnecting" and "rehashing" there.

But I digress...

Thank you both Celia and Brandi. I understand what you both are saying. Not every weddings are the same. My relatives are mostly in the same state that i live with the 3 exceptions that live in other states and don't drink. Most are Christians (some of them still have a drink or 2) which is why I had the idea of an after party. Most of those have cash bars. Very few are open. It really renting out the venue and letting them be adults that drink there. Im more concerned about the reception because there will also be children there (speaking for myself) and if they can't conduct themselves around children, then I will not have alcohol at my reception but have an after party in the place of it. That is where I have the cash bar espeically if i do not know how many will actually come to it. But all things considered I respect both of your opinions.

@Katie, if this is the norm for EVERY wedding you have been to, then I am sad to say that you may need a better group of people to hang out with. The only time I have seen this, is when people are just too stupid to know they have had enough, whether it is open or cash bar.

Of course, there is something wrong with a cash bar. Why the hell would someone you know want to:

Get a new outfit possibly,

Maybe pay for a babysitter.

Pay to fly/drive to your wedding.

Possibly pay for a hotel and/or taxi.

Get you a gift and/or cash.

AND THEN.... Have to pay EVEN MORE money to have a damn drink at YOUR OWN PARTY, not theirs???? That is ridiculous and extremely selfish of the bride and groom!!

eta: spelling, punctuation

Open!!! Never cash