Cash Gift Sent from Save the Date - But Invite states No gifts

Accept the check, send a thank you note and schedule that dinner.

If she chose to give you a gift, that is her choice. I would take the money and take her out to dinner. Pick up the tab with the money using the money she gave.

I agree with Hannah, accept the gift, schedule the dinner and use the money towards that dinner.

Accept the gift, write a gracious note, go to dinner. It's a check for dinner not a physical gift so it's a little easier to deal with.

I agree with the above posters. And if I received an invite that said no gifts, I would still bring one, not a physical one, but a check. I feel weird going to a wedding empty handed

View Quoted Comment

Exactly this. I think it'd be pretty rude to decline her gift. Sounds like she just really wanted to do something nice. Any reason why you are so amendment about no gifts?

View Quoted Comment

Agreed ^ It would be extremely rude to decline the gift and dinner

I wouldn't send the gift back. Accept it kindly and next time when you hangout with her like for dinner, treat her out as a thank you if you'd like.

Accept it. Send her a nice thank you card , and accept the dinner invite. Declining a gift is crazy rude. And— this won’t be your only one. Plenty of us grew up ingrained with “never show up to a party empty handed” ...I might give a smaller check at a “no gifts please” but you better believe I’m still showing up with a card. That’s just my choice 😬...also many may presume you just don’t want boxed gifts. At any rate, she didn’t have to send you something, but she wanted to— it happens!

I'd just accept the money and send a thank you card. If a card said "no gifts", I'd assume the couple wouldn't hate a cash or gift card so I'd still bring one. I'd for sure schedule a dinner, that's just a nice thing to do.

This is supposed to be a monumental life event; you can't expect zero gifts from people. You can say it til your face turns blue but it's really not good etiquette to not give a gift. Additionally, since they cannot come to your wedding they even more so feel indebted to give you something. Just accept it, send a thank you, do the dinner!

View Quoted Comment

Jeff and I are in our mid to late 50's getting married for the first time. We have 2 houses that we are trying to consolidate and downsize. We have more than we need and just wanted our friends and family to partake in our Joy that day. We have more people than thought actually coming from out-of-town to share the day with us and that is more than enough both Jeff and I feel awkward about receiving any gift...than's just us!

View Quoted Comment

Thanks to EVERYONE for your responses. Even though it seems so awkward for an older couple getting married for the first time, I can see from all the responses that we just need to be gracious and accept whatever might be gifted to us!

Best,

Catherine & Jeff

View Quoted Comment

Thanks so very much! I never thought I would get married and as simple as we want to keep it...we have to remember etiquette and others!