Cash bar

If you can't afford to provide the alcohol for your guests then have a dry wedding. Guests should not be asked to open their wallets for an event you are hosting! An open beer and wine bar is a good, affordable option to consider.

Just had my wedding and had a champagne toast at ceremony then about 3 hours of beer wine margaritas and signature drinks. Only 33 drinkers cost $750. This covered 3 to 5 drinks per person. There are always guests who want free drinks up until it’s over. People keep mention the word “Tacky.” What’s tacky is going to a friends or family’s wedding and expecting unlimited free drinks.

I’ve only been to two weddings that were open bar, & one of those was supposed to be cash after cocktail hour but a generous family member paid for it day of as a gift. Every wedding I’ve been to has been in the past few years, so I’m not sure where this sudden “cash bars are the worst” is coming from. I live in a hugely HCOL area—most open bars are $5-6k for about 100. I think surprise cash bars are a pain though, so be sure you’re clear on the cash bar element.


I personally like when something is available for free/paid by hosts—house beer & wine, cocktail hour is open, drink tickets—but those aren’t always options depending on your venue.

I'm having a cash bar because we simply can't afford an open bar & frankly, I'm not paying for anyone to get drunk. It sounds rude, but I know my crowd & we have some drinkers who don't need free drinks all night (if they do get drunk, it's going to be on their own dime). When we booked our venue we were told that many couples actually choose to host cash bars because of how much it can cost. I've also asked around & most people have told me they've never been to a wedding that has an open bar, every wedding had a cash bar & they found it weird that there are people who expect to be given free alcohol at a wedding. It's not rude or tacky, you do what's best for you & your budget. Now, I did include that tidbit on our site, but it's been a very interesting ride seeing people call a cash bar rude. I'm paying for food+dessert & non-alcoholic drinks, it's not that serious if someone has to pony up a few dollars to buy themselves a beer.

Personally I wouldn't want to go to a wedding where I have to pay. Pick a drink or two and if they don't want to drink that alcohol then that's on them, but they cannot say you didn't provide any. My best bet is to save and budget and see if there is anyone that would be willing to provide a few alcoholic beverages at a price you can afford. Plus, people may have to spend a lot on gas money to get to your wedding (depending on where they're coming from) so they surely won't want to pay to drink.

View Quoted Comment I don't think it's tacky for a guest to not want to spend money at a party they were invited to. If you showed up at a birthday party or a dinner party and people asked for cash to pay for drinks, wouldn't you be a bit put off?

View Quoted Comment I would rather not be invited than be invited to a party where I'm expected to bring a gift AND spend money on party basics.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree with this. I went to one wedding with a cash bar, you know what my fiance did when he found out that on top of the bridal party gift and money we put in the card for the wedding that we would have to buy our own drinks, right in front of the bride and groom he ripped open the card we were giving them, took the money out and handed the empty card to them. I was shocked he did that but I wasn't made at all that he did it.

Mad* sorry auto correct

View Quoted Comment

I completely agree with Elizabeth. The bride and groom are the hosts. If I hosted a birthday party at my home and told my guests, "first 2 glasses of wine on us, then pay me if you want another glass," that would not go over well... Cash bars at weddings are inappropriate because the guests are essentially subsidizing a part of your wedding. If guests have to open up their wallets at a wedding, then the bride and groom are bad hosts.

View Quoted Comment

LOL I can totally see that happening in my social circle if there were a cash bar at a wedding. People would go straight to the card box to retrieve their checks if the bride and groom expected guests to pay for their own drinks. You can't expect guests to both subsidize part of your wedding AND give you a gift!

I'm really curious what all you anti-cash-bar types would think about dry weddings! If you know in advance that it's a cash bar, just mentally treat it like a dry wedding, or you can plan your gift accordingly if you're that offended. Or not attend, which seems a little ridiculous over alcohol. A wedding isn't defined by if the alcohol is free or not, or even if there is alcohol at all. Alcohol is certainly not a basic or a necessity. If you had to pay for water or soft drinks, that's very different!

This also seems to be a geographical or maybe cultural thing. I've been to weddings in New England & the Midwest & no one batted an eye at the cash bars. Personally, I am having an open bar, but my family thought I was ridiculous for doing so. My family is really big, & in my social world it's considered extremely rude to not bring something to an event...& usually alcohol & dessert is the go-to, & then it's put out by the hosts for all to enjoy. Obviously a wedding is a smidge different, but there are also things like Jack & Jills (where one buys a ticket) or stock the bar showers (where one brings alcohol for the wedding).

I'm still sticking with my guns of: unless you're having a black tie event, & as long as everyone knows in advance, a cash bar isn't the worst thing in the world.

View Quoted Comment Exactly, when you think about it a couple who are invited to a wedding buys a gift or a few gifts for the bride to be at her shower, then they bring a card with money to the wedding and most buy a new outfit for the wedding. Yes it can be expensive to have a wedding but it's also expensive to be a guest yes not as expensive but it's not the guests big day and yet they are dishing out more than enough to attend. And yes I know not all guests are giving but most are.

We are going to be the lame ones then and pay for the drinks during cocktail hike bit after that you pay. Honestly I’ve bet been to a wedding where I didn’t buy my own drinks.

View Quoted Comment

Personally, I would rather be invited to a dry wedding than a wedding with a cash bar, because I don't believe in the principle of guests subsidizing a wedding. I believe that couples should host the wedding they can afford. If that includes alcohol, then great! If not, then I can still have fun without alcohol. However, if I were invited to a wedding with a cash bar and I was warned ahead of time that there would be a cash bar, then I'd be appreciative to at least be warned of this. That way, I'd know to give a less expensive gift in order to partially compensate for helping to subsidize the couple's reception. If I were invited to a wedding with a cash bar and I didn't know ahead of time, I would be quite upset!

Thank you all truly for your input! I value all your opinions. I have made a decision based on what’s best for my husband and I! First couple of rounds (beer/wine) will be on us. Should any guests prefer liquor, it will be available at the bar for purchase. If they still want to drink after using all their scripts, it will be out of pocket. I want my guests to have fun and they will. It ain’t about the alcohol, Lol! We need to have control, but more importantly do not want to be held liable.

View Quoted Comment

I think this sounds more than reasonable. Cheers to a fantastic day!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! It’s been a long process having postponed twice, and we just can’t wait to celebrate and be celebrated!

View Quoted Comment Love this! Good for you ❤️

I don’t know why everybody thinks guests are entitled to get drunk for free. Yes you’re hosting an event.. a crazy expensive one. I hate the “cut down your guest list to what you can afford” because you’re already providing a good meal and a fun time. Drinks should be optional *if* the couple can afford it. I say do what works for you, and if somebody doesn’t like it they don’t have to attend.. it’s one less person to feed.