Cash Bar

FYI...WW is not a fan of cash bars.

But I know how this will go. People will tell you don't write it on the invitation because you shouldn't have a cash bar at all anyway. Then you'll say all these reasons on why you want a cash bar ranging from you have an alcoholic in your family, to you don't see why people need alcohol at a wedding to have fun, to how everyone in your family/region/bubble does a cash bar. Then we'll all come back and tell you that properly hosting your guests includes giving them food and drink even if it's just beer and wine. Then you'll come back saying something like how you can't change it now and it's too late and your mind is made up. People will continue to tell you it's a bad idea. You'll end up getting frustrated that people aren't listening to your concerns (whether they're valid or not) and the fact that no one has actually answered your question. People will say they answered your question by telling you it's a bad idea to have a cash bar. Then people will get heated and start calling each other names and ultimately you'll hide the thread or it'll get flagged. Then threads like this continue to pop up because someone has the same question but they can't find the answer because all the previous threads on this topic have been hidden/flagged. Shoot...I've been on WW too long to be able to predict the outcome of this. WW honestly isn't a bad place...we just have topics we get heated over.

However, you're posting this on the weekend which has much less traffic on the boards. So you might not face as much wrath. But I'm just warning you.

As to answer your question...if your mind is made up about the cash bar (even though you still have almost a year and have plenty of time to cut other things out of your budget to afford some drinks) don't say anything on the invitation, put it on the website. Some people will say they appreciated knowing in advance so they could bring money, but an invite isn't really the right place. You can spread it by word of mouth too. Also don't put your registry info on your invitation. Don't include an insert or anything. All you need is the date, time, and place and your names on the invitation. And probably something that says "Reception to follow".

^Nailed it!

It's too early for this. And I agree with HiH

Don't put it on the invite because you've come to your senses and realize everyone hates it and it's base line rude, no matter what excuse you use.

HIH really nailed the trajectory of these posts.

Hosted bars don't have to be crazy; I work in a wide array of venues and the bar situation runs from wine/beer/prosecco (sometimes with a signature drink) to top shelf, premium liquor for the whole night.

Whether you drink or not, you should offer something. For what it's worth, I usually am only at weddings until the cocktail hour ends, and by then, the bars are pretty quiet; there just aren't that many sloppy drinkers at these parties, and eventually SOMEONE has to drive home.

Try to find the budget to offer at least beer and wine. And leave it at that; don't offer mixed drinks for cash or a hosted hour then a cash bar (It's totally confusing to the guests, the bartenders hate it because it gums up service, and after the first few hours, no one really drinks that much.

I'm sorry that you're having a cash bar, Ick...ick...ick, and I'm too too tired to get into the details.

I'm in the minority - I don't get offended by cash bars. I've been to weddings with them.

Again, being in the minority - I like it when I'm told in advance. I've seen brides put it on a small insert or on the invitation. It doesn't bother me.

But please, have good alcohol if we have to pay for it. I went to a wedding with a cash bar and the only red wine was moscato. Yuck.

ETA: I did not have a cash bar. I had beer and wine.

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Yeah, all of my family members are cheap and have always had cash bars, so I sort of expect it. Ha. I do prefer a heads up so I can bring money...but I'd NEVER have done a cash bar myself. ;-)

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I love a good open bar but I'd rather have a cash bar than no bar. So if you must have a cash bar put the information on your wedding website (if you have one). As HIH said the invite isn't the place to mention it.

Pretty much what HiH said. IF you are set on cash bar, put it on the website or possibly and insert, but NOT the invitation. My BFF had a cash bar, I was the MOH, and had NO idea. I flew there to the wedding with my daughter, paid for our hair which was WAY more than I had anticipated, and had nothing left to pay for cash bar. I was a little miffed.

We're doing wine and whiskey (Scotch or Bourbon), and that's it. The bartender associated with both potential venues also has margarita mix, so we may pick up a bottle or two of Tequila.

I was just talking to my parents about this yesterday. They asked if we were having a cash bar. Every wedding I've ever been to for my family has always been a cash bar. They were shocked when I told them it would be an open bar. House liquor only, and beer, of course. I agree with the rest of the ladies. Don't put it on your invitation. Either put it tactfully on your website or tactfully in an insert that is sent with your invitation.

No.. Just no.. It is extremely tacky. If the problem is cost try just serving wine and beer.

I'm one of the dissenting voices that also has zero problems with cash bars. I didn't have one myself, but I've never been offended at any weddings I've been invited to with one.

Apart from one. The thing is - etiquette says you must provide refreshment. It doesn't say what kind. The only wedding I ever got offended at was when there was NOTHING 'free'. No water, no soft drinks. Nothing. That is rude.

Most weddings I've been to with a cash bar tend to be wine on the tables and free soft drinks. Everything else is cash. (and normally someone (FOB normally) puts a chunk of money behind the bar so that drinks are 'free' during cocktail hour).

As for where to mention it? Word of mouth should be good enough.

Guaranteed that anyone thinking of a cash bar will seize on the one opinon that said it's no problem.

But in Nicola's example, it's really not a cash bar; 'someone puts a chunk of money on the bar"...the someone who wants to be a good host.

Hi, FutureMrsE,

I didn't read HiH's post, it's huge. I see people agreeing with her, so I'll assume it was good advice. All I'll say is this: if you do decide to have a cash bar, rely on word of mouth, but make sure that word of mouth goes around several weeks before your wedding. We were warned that DH's cousin would have a cash bar the morning of the wedding. We're OOT, so we were scrambling to find an ATM in the countryside on a Saturday morning to get some cash.

Cash bars are the worst. You can serve beer and wine and limit the timing. I've been to one wedding with a cash bar, your wedding will automatically be labeled as cheap!

I don't mind cash bars since it's a very very very common thing where I am. Ha people here even put registry info worth the invites. However do not put anything but the ceremony info on the invite and then saying when and where the reception will be. If the cash bar is common in your area you won't need to worry about telling people. If it's not common use word of mouth and have a fact section on your website to inform guests.

Personally, how people decide to host their event is their decision. I just respect what they decide to do and go with it. With that said, word of mouth and noted on your website (if you have one) is appropriate. By the way, most of the brides on the forum are thoroughly against cash bars. Stand your ground and have the wedding you want and can afford.

I do think cash bars are rude and would never invite my guests to an event that I was hosting and ask them to pay anything. To answer your question, don't mention it on your invitations but make sure to tell people about it so they know to bring cash.