Cash Bar vs. Full Bar vs. Beer/wine Bar

Your wedding location sounds beautiful, congrats! We are also paying for everything on our own. I tried to go the cash bar (mainly because my fiancé and I don’t drink at all anymore) and she wouldn’t let us. Lol. She said there were too many people coming from out of town and that having an open bar is “being a good host”. We are only doing beer and wine (white wine at that- no red near my gown!) it’s pricey but she was adamant so that’s what we are doing and I’m glad. All the weddings I’ve ever been to have been open bar and when I drank, I drank my fair share.. and then some! Lol. Good luck!

Are cash bars the norm in your social circle? Can you ask your friends and family. As a guest I personally hate when I spend quite a bit of money on travel, lodging, and a gift and then have to pay for a drink. But cash bars aren’t the norm in my friend group. We had beer and wine only since our wedding was at a winery and there was no liquor license.

You are going to get a wide variety of responses to this question. First I would say to do what you can afford. With that said I also don’t think it’s appropriate to ask your guests to come to your wedding then pay for drinks. If you have a limited budget maybe just do beer and wine and limit it to that. It’s tough because an open bar really adds up quickly so people will understand if it’s not a full bar. Good luck.

What is the norm for your social circle and are many of your guests traveling? See if you can limit open bar options to beer, wine, or liquor.

Full open bar is always preferred as a guest. However beer/wine is the next best. Asking them to open their wallets after traveling and giving gifts or money at the event you are hosting is impolite. We all know weddings are expensive. Do the best with your budget. Take care of your guests. They take care of you too.

I don't believe guests should have to open their wallets at an event you're hosting. That said, I have absolutely zero issue with beer and wine only, no liquor, which is what we did and had no complaints.

Yes, you should pay for people’s drinks if they are required to travel for your wedding. Attending a destination wedding is very expensive and providing for your guests at your reception is the gracious thing to do.

What people remember from a wedding is the bar, and music. Those are things that you shouldn’t skimp on. Beer and wine is even okay. If you’re looking to save money somewhere people don’t remember the flowers you used, the centerpieces you had, even the food comes in third from drinks and music if you ask most people.

People could care less about music. People absolutely care about food and drink. People will remember if their food is cold, if it wasn't enough and if it didn't taste good. No one cares about how many attendants you have, the decor, what your attendants and the groom wears, whether you do a unity ceremony, bouquet/garter toss or give out favors. Also, don't propose to your attendants. Only go with a photobooth if your music vendor is throwing it in for free. DIY flowers and signage if you need signs at all. There are so many things you can cut before you cut alcohol. I asked the same question on here and the responses were so awful you'd think I was promising my first born to the devil. Especially if you're doing a DW with a plated dinner you should be able to pull off beer and wine only, yet open. If you do decide to go cash bar only, be sure to tell people ahead of time so they come prepared.

We're also paying for our own wedding and particularly because people are coming from out of town, we thought it important to have an open bar. We are definitely doing beer and wine and considering one cocktail, but hesitating due to the number of alcoholics in my family.

I don't believe that guests should have to open their wallets and pay for anything at a hosted event. If you can't afford a full open bar, beer and wine only or any other version of a modified open bar would be plenty.

I agree with PP’s saying you are going to get quite a bit of back and forth on this topic and with asking your social circle.

We are also paying for the majority of our wedding ourselves and we are having a full open bar. This was a decision we made based on our families and social circle (drinkers) and the weddings we have been to most recently. We have only been to maybe 1-2 cash bar weddings and it was fine for us as long as they were reasonably priced drinks. Those parties were never as lively as the others but guests do tend to control themselves more if they are paying.

We are also asking everyone to travel from across the country and stay in a resort area so the least we can do it buy them a few rounds. My future in laws are paying for a beer and wine rehearsal dinner and we are having a casual after party both the night before and night of which will be individual tabs as well.

Good luck in your planning and don’t worry what other people think, you do what is best for you and your FH. ❤️❤️

Among all the weddings I've been to, it was either open bar or no alcohol at all. We are also paying for our wedding, and we have people coming from other states, and even out of the country. They would already be paying for airfare and hotel, would we still have them pay for drinks too? Just like what the others said, I think at least having beer and wine is a great idea.

Most of the weddings I have been to have been the beer and usually 2 wines that the couple pays for. We are doing the same. My opinion is that if a guest wants a hard liquor drink they can pay for that themselves.

I've been to weddings with all sorts of bar options -- full open bar, beer & wine only, limited beer & wine, and cash. I don't care for full cash bars. I've been to a number of weddings with beer & wine only, and those were really nice. My sister had a beer & wine only bar at her wedding. I also went to a wedding that had everything available (beer/wine/liquor), but the only "open" items were 2 wines (1 white, 1 red) and 1 beer. I felt like that gave guests enough options too.

We are doing a full open bar, but that is really just because it comes included with our venue's package pricing. If we were setting up our own or hiring a separate vendor to run the bar, I would most likely go with beer/wine only.

Good luck with this thread this question always gets ugly responses!
First and foremost I would see what you can afford, and see what the venue offers. Sometimes they do a discount on open bars or certain drinks. If you can land a deal on something then why not?
Overall in my area only very formal weddings have full open bar, everything else is cash bar. In other regions having cash bar is not as popular or acceptable.
People will threaten all kinds of nonsense if you go dry or cash bar and frankly I don't buy into that. If someone doesn't want to attend a wedding because they can't get drunk then you likely don't need them there anyway.
Doing open beer and wine with no hard liquor is a popular alternative as many people enjoy beer and wine with food.
You'll have to see what your circle prefers but at the end of the day nobody has ever died from not drinking. People will come and enjoy themselves.

It’s not that tacky

Cash bar is tacky - full stop. You wouldn't invite people to your house for dinner and then ask them for cash for every glass of wine they drank....so you shouldn't do it at your wedding.

That said, no alcohol is fine, beer and wine is fine, full top shelf open bar is fine, beer and signature cocktails is fine. The point is that you can offer whatever you'd like that fits in your budget - alcohol or no - but guests should not have to subsidize a party that they were invited to.

While I don't think it's tacky per say I wouldn't do it ever because I believe in hosting an event fully of this type of caliber. If it were a 4th of july party we tell our friends BYOB we got mixers lol. Providing your own alcohol void of a venue that has it in a package is actually way cheaper. My alcohol is $35 per person. You can supply the alcohol and hire bartenders to serve. When the wedding is done you can often return any unopened cases to the beer/liquor distributor so long as they allow that. I actually have a wedding next year for our friends in the smoky mountains!! If anything beer/wine and a specialty cocktail is the way to go to stay on a budget.

We had a full open bar, and don't regret that at all! Most of the weddings I've been to have been beer/wine or beer/wine/signature drinks and those are both perfect options if you don't want liquor being served or if it isn't in your budget. Also, just having a limited open bar helps speed up the bar so that people aren't waiting in line as long, too, which is another perk!

I personally think cash bars are tacky, but it probably depends a lot on your social circle.