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Bailey
Beginner September 2020

Cash bar seems like best option for us- but seems to be percieved as tacky

Bailey, on February 10, 2020 at 12:58 AM

Posted in Wedding Reception 81

Most of the replied I see on WW talk about how tacky and rude a cash bar is. But hear me out and please let me know if my situation is any different. I am leaning towards having a cash bar but doing either drink ticket/tokens or open bar during cocktail hour. I think cocktail hour would be nice but...
Most of the replied I see on WW talk about how tacky and rude a cash bar is. But hear me out and please let me know if my situation is any different. I am leaning towards having a cash bar but doing either drink ticket/tokens or open bar during cocktail hour. I think cocktail hour would be nice but our cocktail hour will be outside while the bar is inside so idk if that would work. Our venue only charges $3-5 per drink and we will be providing soda, water, lemonade, and tea. First, I cannot afford an open bar, our parents aren't paying for everything and most of our wedding bill will fall on me. Second, there is no Uber, Lyft, or taxis where our venue is and most of our guests will be driving about an hour home and I really do not want anyone drinking and driving.. Third, I would hate to have guests over drink and cause a scene. Fourth, our guests should be there because they love us and want to celebrate with us, not for free booze. Am I wrong in thinking a cash bar will be best for us?

81 Comments

  • Danielle
    Expert November 2020
    Danielle ·
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    I personally am having beverage bar including water, tea, lemonade, punch, soda, coffee and hot chocolate but no alcohol. I have a sister who is an alcoholic and also because most of the people in my fiance's family doesn't prefer to drink. I don't really want to spend the money on it. It is a small party for family and a few friends only so I don't care what people think. If they want beer they can bring their own. I don't think it is tacky at all to skip the alcohol.

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  • Susanna
    Beginner April 2022
    Susanna ·
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    I've been wondering the same thing but honestly if it's not in your budget, it's not a big deal. I've heard of people crashing weddings just to get trashed. You shouldn't feel obligated to pay for others to get drunk.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    That's great your guests danced. With a dry wedding, it's really a "know your crowd thing." Several brides here have posted their regrets over a dry wedding or limited bar (e.g. only offering alcohol during cocktail hour). They said guests 1) left after dinner or 2) didn't do much dancing.

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  • B
    Beginner September 2020
    Brook ·
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    You can absolutely do a cash bar!!! Just make sure to make it widely known so everyone brings cash Smiley smile
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  • M
    Savvy February 2020
    M ·
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    Try to budget in a variety of beers on tap, one white wine and one red. Serve wine for free during dinner and have the rest as cash. That way you're offering alchohol without breaking the bank on mixed drinks ans hard liquor.
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  • RoseSoda
    Savvy September 2021
    RoseSoda ·
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    It sounds like cash bar makes the most sense for you in terms of cost, convenience, and guest safety. Your main concern after that is being viewed as tacky, but isn't it more tacky for them to expect a bunch of free things at this event that's already costing you likely thousands of dollars, and when the focus is meant to be a celebration of your marriage, not an opportunity to get smashed? Anyone that's going to question a cash bar is either there to mooch or too uppity for their own good (and can probably afford their own drinks).

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  • A
    Dedicated October 2020
    Adriana ·
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    My fiancé’s cousin got married last June and they did a cash bar at their reception. No one seemed to mind, their venue was charging $5 per beer and everyone still had drinks and I didn’t hear anyone complain. I think as long as your guests are having a good time they won’t mind paying for their own drinks.
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  • Kailey
    Beginner September 2020
    Kailey ·
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    Not one bit!! My fiancé and I are doing the same thing and i feel the same way you do.
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  • N
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Nichole ·
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    I think a cash bar is a good idea!! You could do token or something if you want to but it's by no means necessary, people drink more responsibly when they have to pay for it themselves.
    Open bar never crossed my mind for my wedding because it's an unnecessary experience, one night without alcohol isn't going to hurt anyone!!!
    Do what's best for you!
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  • Ciera
    Savvy May 2021
    Ciera ·
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    I don’t think it’s tacky at all. We are doing a cash bar minus a few hours, it’s SO expensive to do an open bar even at a winery. It’s no different than people drinking at a bar & I don’t think any of our guests will have an issue. In the end it’s your wedding, if it’s not in the budget, then do what’s best for you.
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  • Tarsha
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Tarsha ·
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    I’m doing a cash bar and I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s tacky. Which I don’t think my friends/fam will. If they are not helping to pay for the wedding, then do what’s best for your budget. The marriage is more important than the wedding.
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  • Desiree
    Super March 2020
    Desiree ·
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    I love your reasoning with a cash bar. I applaud you for thinking it out like that, and totally support your decision.

    (It is NOT tacky. People really love to be judgmental on here some times.. Don't let that get to you, these people are just on a forum, and not on a guest list.) Smiley heart

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  • Ashley
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    I don’t think a cash bar is tacky at all. In my area (MA—Boston area) cash bars seem to be really popular, even expected. Everything is expensive here! We’re providing no free alcohol at all to guests—not even during cocktail hour. It isn’t in our budget, and I’m not making it a priority. I’d rather use that money for a good DJ (yes, even sober people will dance I have seen it many times) and good photographer than paying for people’s booze. It’s your wedding. No need to break the bank! I usually don’t read WW posts because I don’t want others’ input, but the title of yours caught my attention Smiley smile If you’re inviting people you love and care about to your wedding, they should be there for you and your fiancé, not for the free alcohol. It’s a celebration of your marriage. If you think some guests will judge you, do you really want them there? (If it’s someone you just HAVE to invite like your cousin Eddy or Uncle Bob, ignore them.) I have seen some people saying you’re hosting an event and comparing it to a dinner party, in which case you would be providing alcohol. A wedding is entirely different (it costs way more and there are more people). You’re providing them with dinner, dessert, and entertainment (dancing I’m assuming). That’s perfect. Focus on enjoying your special day Smiley smile Hope this helps!
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  • B
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Bonnie ·
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    We are doing a beer and wine host only.; we are putting a cap on the tab and once all funds that we have put toward the tab are exhausted, people will have to pay for their own drinks. Like you, we do not have a lot in our budget to go all out on an open bar. Don't worry about what people are going to think. It's your day and you want people to come and have a good time but you also don't want to break the bank in order to do so. If a beer and wine host is not something you can do, do a cash bar!!!

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  • Brittany
    Savvy October 2021
    Brittany ·
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    I don’t think it’s tacky as long as you are honest about. Maybe consider
    Doing one hour of beer and wine for the guests?
    And then the rest of the night cash bar... this may be perceived as less tacky and can work if budget is an issue no ...

    There is also drink tickets as well ?
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  • C
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Colleen ·
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    It's not tacky at all. It's what you can afford so if you can't then they can pay for themselves. Cheaper than most bars. And you're not alone with drinking and causing a scene. We went to a friend's Wedding and the bridal party was arrested for fighting. The reception started at 5pm and was over by 7pm, cops shut down the reception at the hall.
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  • M
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Mayce ·
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    Pssshhhht weddings are expensive without the bar. They'll be fine to buy their own drinks. Dont sweat it.
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  • Stephanie
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    If they don't like it tell the BYOB. You do what you can afford.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Aside from the politeness issue, cash bar makes it easy for serious drinks to drink as much as they want, as fast as they want, as long as they stop at the ATM or have plastic. Does nothing to discourage serious drinkers. If you are serious about curbing excessive drinking, you need to limit the total number of drinks a person can have to perhaps 4, and not allow double drinks or shots . Overserving is a serious problem.
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  • Lynette
    Savvy August 2021
    Lynette ·
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    Go for your cash bar. Weddings are already expensive. Save wherever you can to make things affordable and stress free. I was really worried in the beginning with my wedding planning. I'm learning that it's really your wedding and everything seems to go today with weddings. Best of luck and congrats!

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