Cash Bar or Open Bar?

View Quoted Comment I couldn't agree more! We are paying for their meal and favors and other things to thank them for attending. If they are going to get mad over not getting free drinks all night, they shouldn't be there. Plus I know my family and friends and we'd end up paying so much for the bar that we'd be broke! Lol

I was just talking with my fiancé about this as we’re planning the details for our reception. I know I appreciate an open bar but understand if it’s not in the budget for the happy couple. However I personally want an open bar at our reception for the night with at least a small variety of beer. I was thinking of doing his and hers signature drinks, something both easy to make and won’t break the bank. Liquor can get very expensive and I think it’s understandable if liquor is cash bar. Happy planning!

I think it’s a fair question to ask. I’m still undecided myself. My family and friends are drinkers so the open bar concept appeals to me, yet not everyone functions well under the influence. I have noticed various venues could drive my decision so I am holding off on deciding. I will say, if you do decide to cap it at a certain amount it is not poor etiquette...it’s good financial planning. Let’s be honest, the whole idea that YOUR wedding is meant to entertain others is a stupid American made up thing. In a lot of other countries the parents are hosting the lavish celebration for their kid. If your parents aren’t footing the bill, I say splurge only on thugs that bring you and your hubby joy. And cut back on things that would only bring your guest joy. Don’t go into debt for others. You have to live after this wedding and starting off a life together in debt so others can get drunk and possibly bring on bad memories is not a good way to start. Rant over. Lol

I’ve been to a lot of weddings and just want to say in my experience when weddings have open bar up to a certain time or dollar amount is when I’ve seen guests get the drunkest. Everyone doubles up and are pounding drinks before the free ones run out.

View Quoted Comment Same and we are choosing not to break the bank for people to get wasted. We did limited consumption which will pay for the first 1-2 drinks of each guest and after that, it flips to a cash bar. If that’s poor hosting, oh well. We aren’t even registering because we don’t care about “gifts” so I’m not concerned with people feeling like they’re “opening their wallets” to drink alcohol.

View Quoted Comment Preach! Lol We have 100% paid for our own wedding so I feel this on a spiritual level. Lol We still have to live when the wedding is over so nope, not one ounce of guilt for capping my bar.

View Quoted Comment Girl, YES! I have been slowly transitioning towards this mentality in every aspect of my life! It’s important. Folks don’t get it, but they don’t have to. They don’t have to understand your journey, you need ZERO outside validation!!

View Quoted Comment Yesss! Say it again!! :-D

I get dragged for saying "it's your day" on this forum, but IT IS! haha. I would talk with your fiance and really think about what is important to you. If alcohol is important, I would for sure keep the bar open all night. If it's not, spend that money on something else that will make you happy. There is no hard rule that says you have to provide people alcohol. Some will say it's tacky, but I think it's tacky to demand to be under the influence to celebrate someone's marriage. Alcohol is important to me and my fiance. We love really great wine and spirits. I intend to splurge on that for our day so our guests can enjoy something that we as a couple really love. But I've been to plenty of weddings with $3 bottles of crappy wine and cheap tequila and I was just happy to be there to celebrate. I say go with what you are most comfortable with!

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I agree with you!! People think it's so selfish to inconvenience their guests in any way. I personally think it's selfish to spend 50k of your Dad's hard earned money to put on a show to impress people who probably don't even care about you all that much. We all have different opinions and that is ok.

View Quoted Comment Tessa you are right! I love weddings but the costs are ridiculous! Definitely no need to waste money on folks who may only be in your life for a “season”.

Our venue Package came with a certain amount of beer and champagne and once that’s gone then everything turns into a cash bar. Our venue didn't even offer us the option, and we already knew we didn't want to pay for drinks all night.
If you are having alcohol maybe have just beer and champagne and the rest to be a cash bar. Cash bars can be pretty priced.
And ive been to wedding where it was only a cash bar and thats fine to. I had no issue paying for my drinks.
We as guests are there to celebrate the couple and the wedding, not going there to get free stuff. I dont agree with the brides that say guests shouldnt have to pay for anything at weddings.

We are doing open bar just for cocktail hour... after that will be cash bar. I know a lot of brides will disagree with a cash bar but I never understood why. I feel like I am hosting a celebration with lots of food, cake, a candy bar, a live band, and a photo booth with pictures for my guests to take home. I honestly do not agree with other brides when they say its rude to make guests pay for their own drinks after cocktail hour. We are not charging them for water or coffee or anything other then alcohol. So, do what feels right and what you can afford

Open bar is definitely considered by many to be more polite, so I vote for that

Cash bar but I hosted a keg and lemonade, water, and iced tea are all free and will be served immediately after the ceremony. I see some of the snotty "guest shoudn't have to pay for anything" comments but I disagree. After working weddings for years, I saw how much more drunk guests were when there was a hosted bar and not everyone wants a bunch of obnoxious drunk people at their wedding by 8 pm lol.

The only weddings I've been to with cash bars have been mostly open and then cash at the end of the night (last hour). If you can't afford open bar, do beer and wine only. I think it is bad form to make people pay for drinks.

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THIS. I've also seen this at company happy hours or parties with drink tickets or some other limited open bar - people just go crazy during the limited amount because they don't want to pay. Or they bring their own. Thus, why the open beer+wine is a better solution and is almost always less expensive.

Open bar. Cash bars don't come off nicely

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This. I think it's ridiculous that so many people say you cut literally everything out of your wedding planning just to afford your guests to get trashed. Also, that seems to be an internet phenomenon..... in real life, people don't care as much. As for me, it was either 1. creating a wedding that they could all be invited to, but have a cash bar and non-live/DJ music, or 2. not have a wedding to invite them to at all.

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As the host of the event it's your responsibility, not your guests', to tip the staff including the bartender.