Cash Bar, Open Bar, or Dry?

Hi Moriah! Welcome to WeddingWire! 💍 I understand your concerns about your family overdrinking, but when hosting an event, it is common wedding etiquette to provide an open bar to extend hospitality! Guests attend weddings with the notion that they won’t have to spend money, so I would try devising a plan where they won’t have to! Also, if you’re planning to drink, your guests should also be given the opportunity to do so as well! 😊 What about just providing beverages with less alcohol content like wine coolers?

Your bridesmaids are right. Your guests should not have to pay for anything at your wedding. A trained bartender will be able to cut someone off so they don't get trashed. This was a big discussion between FH and I. He thought cash bar was fine, I said no. So we did a modified open bar of wine and beer only. It's cheaper and our guests still have free drinks.

How about a BYOB wedding I can provide mixers, cups, ice and some light booze but since (just like my sisters weddings) they are already going to bring moonshine, they are all going to have a flasks, and show up with a half a bar in their truck: Or is that just as bad?

I’ve only been to 1 cash bar wedding in my entire life, but I’ve learned here on WW that it’s common in some areas. I would never do one though just as I would never invite someone to dinner or to my house and ask them to pay for their own drinks. IMO, it’s poor hosting to expect guests to pull out their wallets at an event, especially when they are most likely bringing a gift.

I mean cash bar is not uncommon here, i think i have only been to 8 weddings and 4 or 5 of them had a 2 drink free then cash bar type deal. everyone just brings their own booze any-who.

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This is a disaster waiting to happen... especially if your goal is to keep people from drinking too much. You are responsible for both the comfort, experience, and SAFETY of your guests and a professional bartender will be able to help make sure no one over-does it. If your crowd is young - (mentioning because you commented you would be 21 at the wedding) you do NOT want to give them carte blanche to make their own drinks... they will not know how to measure properly and your wedding will wind up being a frat party.

If you're worried about the expense of paying for an open bar when half your guests don't drink, ask your venue about a pay for consumption bar, that way you only pay for what's used, rather than a set price per head. If you're worried about over-drinking guests, talk to the bartender in advance and let them know you need them to pay attention and not over serve guests, and perhaps tell the bartender, no Long Islands Iceteas, and no shots served - that will also keep people less loaded.

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Surprisingly most our friends are 5 or 6 years older then us. The people I worry about drinking to much is aunts and uncles, cousins etc. Who don't understand that a Wyoming party doesn't have to end in a black out or 911. My venue doesn't offer catering, it is BYOB or hire some outside bar to come in. The 3 bars we are talking to, do a cash bar, tickets (so 3 drinks then cash), or open bar. I have yet to find one that does consumption bar.

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If those are your options, I agree with pps who strongly suggested an open bar, with a professional bartender who can monitor consumption and will carry the legal liability for your guests' alcohol consumption (so, a drunk guest leaving and getting in an accident is no longer your personal legal liability...). Asking guests to BYOB and/or encouraging their bringing of flasks is kind of a disaster waiting to happen. If you host an open bar, there is no reason for them to "bring their own," because they know that their needs will be met -- yay! Good luck!

Why can’t you do the 3 drinks per person option? That seems like a good compromise!

View Quoted Comment My husband doesn't like it. His family won't be drinking but you have to pay for the three tickets for everyone in attendance he thinks it's wasting money I think it's a good option.

Please, don't do a cash bar or ask people to bring their own. Both are bad. These are your guests. See about a consumption bar, do beer and wine only, do beer and wine and a signature drink but do not make your guests pull out their wallets or pull a bottle out of their purses.

View Quoted Comment I'm going to trying to talk my husband into ticket bar. You get three alcoholic beverages and after that you pay for them. Regardless of an open bar or not my family is going to haul in 3 bars worth of alcohol. My sisters all had open bars and everyone still brought moonshine and flasks Etc. This is less of a they don't think their needs will be met and more of a cultural thing.

View Quoted Comment I live a very very small town. We asked about the Beer & Wine only, we asked about consumption bars, we asked about a lot of options but there just aren't. I can either do an open bar, a cash bar, ticket bar, or BYOB. Regardless of my bar situation at least 20% of the wedding guests are going to haul in their own alcohol because they're heathens. At this point with everybody's backlash about a cash bar I'm going to attempt to talk my husband into a ticket bar, which is basically a cash bar with a few free drinks.

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The heathens part is hilarious! I understand what it is like to have unruly family members. Unfortunately that's why I hired security and bartenders that have been instructed to cut anyone off that is too intoxicated. I had to get insurance just in case something happens to my guests on the way home and frankly because of this, if I saw someone with their own bottle I'd have them escorted out. I think your ticket bar idea is a good one. You can print cute ones and put them with the escort cards or on the tables. People who don't want to use them can hand them to those who do. Hopefully, that will help avoid people having to pull out their wallets at all. Good luck!!

I am absolutely pro open bar. However, if the options are only cash bar or dry wedding, I’d pick paying for my own drinks over no drinks at all. If it was a cash bar, we’d probably gift less though.

View Quoted Comment That's what my first thought process was . I mean ideally we live in a world where people weren't absolute Maniacs with no self-control but maybe having a dry wedding will calm my nerves . This form has given me a lot to think about in the lot to discuss with my husband. Also we actually aren't asking for gifts. We're asking for people make a donation to Children's Memorial Hospital in memory of my husbands little sister. We already live together and have everything we need, plus not asking for gifts now means that a few months after the wedding asking for baby shower gifts won't seem like asking for too much.

View Quoted Comment Can the people who don’t want their tickets give them to someone else?

If you're not doing a dry wedding you NEED to hire professional, licensed bartenders with insurance. Otherwise YOU will be liable if people are over-drinking!

You mentioned that the bar services you've contacted would do a cash bar or an open bar. A "consumption bar" is just a cash bar where the final bill goes to you, instead of each individual guest. They shouldn't have a problem with this, I'm sure you can work it out. Often times with a consumption bar you can also ensure that they are communicating with you throughout the night when certain milestone prices are hit, so you're not blindsided at the end of the night.

There are lots of ways to keep the drinking down when using professionals. For instance, only have 1 bar tender and people have to wait in line to get a drink. Have them strictly enforce that only 1 drink is given out per person, so people can't be getting multiple drinks at a time, and people have to go to the bar themselves (if you have ANY underage guests, you can use them as an excuse for this). You can only serve beer and wine, or if you are serving mixed drinks make sure the bar tenders know to keep them weak and not serve any shots or doubles. You can also close the bar during dinner and have table service only (waiters to bring orders). And you can close the bar an hour before the event ends.

And of course, have security on site to speak to people who brought their own alcohol and make them get rid of it. This may be required if you're hiring a professional bar service, as it's a huge liability thing.

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I agree. Don't do BYOB or cash, those are the same as asking guests to fun your wedding. My vote is for a consumption bar or beer/wine and a signature drink or two.

I sense you may be hesitant with your "Anti Drinking" parents, perhaps they may make a fuss? You are grown up to get married, you get to tell your parents you wish for your wedding the way you and your fiance envision it.

A licensed bartender is worth his or her weight in gold. Get one.

BYO is a terrible idea because then they will bring liquor - and if you were afraid of them drinking too much that's the worst thing they can drink.

I'm in the camp that thinks cash bars are tacky - I would never invite someone to a party at my house and make them pay for anything so why would I do it at my wedding.

What I would do in your situation is provide wine and beer yourself. Is that an option? There are websites with calculators that tell you how much you should get.

This way, the non drinkers don't have to drink, and the drinkers are controlled drinking no liquor.