Cash bar--guest perspective

Damn, that sucks! My mom suggested doing this and I was like oh hellllll no lol.

That's so confusing for guests. I can't imagine not having at least beer and wine.

It's just humiliating as a guest to not be able to pay for something. I actually would have been more than happy to pay with my credit card, but the bar didn't accept them. It's less about the monetary amount than it is about feeling shamed for expecting to pay for something and not being able to pay for it after you order it.

As a guest, I'd certainly expect some sort of alcoholic beverage to be hosted. UO; but I'm OK with a partial cash bar, just as long as the couple lets the guest know ahead of time...this shouldn't be a surprise for the guest! I'm not a big beer drinker, so having a choice would be my preference.

ETA Honestly, the couple would have been better off letting the guest know it would be a cash bar...no one prepared for a cash bar is going to be upset over an open cocktail hour.

It's just never a good idea, no matter what reason people use to justify it. But let the games begin; there are always a handful of people who say this is 'how we do it in my area."

Side note? I have seen exactly one cash bar in my entire career. The guests were insane.

Wine and beer is totally fine; adding a sig drink is even better, but no one should pay for anything at your "hosted' event.

I have to start by saying that cash bars and I only belong together when I'm out for an evening of socializing with my friends. At a wedding? Never. Limited bars are okay, but it's unthinkable for a couple to expect their guests to open their wallets -- again -- after they cross the threshold to a wedding.

However, since that basic etiquette truth seems to hit a brick wall with the minority, can we at least agree on full disclosure? Since it's fine...nothing to be afraid of, right? Why not tell your guests everything about your wedding -- beyond the lovely venue, the starting times, etc. Why not tell them about the expenses they'll incur for those elements you're making available to them?

For exactly the reasons you stated, OP, I think the invitations should be very clear. You don't have to say what you aren't hosting, but by process of elimination, the guests will figure out what they're going to have to pay for...and they have the right to know that. It's one thing to charge your guests for drinks at a bar you're dangling in their faces at a huge celebration, but it's quite another to not even give them a heads up that they need actual dollar bills, not credit cards. By failing to do so, they make the cash bar an even bigger irritation for their guests. My belief is that the cash bar crowd won't add necessary info to the invitations because they realize that in so doing, they're going to receive more declines.

In any event...I think it should be disclosed. Something like this --

"Please celebrate with appetizers and our fully hosted, open bar during cocktail hour, which will begin at 5:00 PM.

A dinner, guest optional (cash only) bar, and dancing reception will immediately follow".

I could read between those lines. In fact, I wouldn't have to.

Wow! So confusing. And who doesn't accept credit cards in 2017!

I'd be declining that invite....

"Don't be an alcohol tease" love that line. I have only been to no bar and full open bar weddings. The only thing that was extra with some of the weddings was shots. We are going with a venue that has a "no shot policy" because dear God help me if FH's friends were fed free shots.

Actually, that's not a cash bar if you were provided with wine and a cocktail hour.

But I get what you're saying. My wedding will be free beer. We are paying for some kegs. However, hard liquor will be on the guests to get themselves but my reception hall accepts credit/debit cards and all my guests know already.

ETA: My family and friends only really drink beer so that's why we decided that. Kegs of beer will keep my guest list happy

We are doing a moonshine bar and then supplying wine, champagne, and beer. We legit made sure to budget the alcohol in so that people don't have to worry. I have been to one wedding with a cash bar, my mom and I ended up bringing small wine bottles with us in our purses because it was outrageously priced. We kept going out to the car to get more wine throughout the reception.

Sorry, I don't consider that a cash bar. You were provided with wine at dinner and you wanted something else. The preferable thing would be to just shutdown the bar so there was no misunderstanding, but I don't think this is near the same as when people complain about "cash bars."

I reread the orig post n you're right...it went from an open to a partial cash bar. Not the same as a cash bar. But even then, guest should have had a heads up.