Cash Bar debate

IMO the ceremony is for the couple and the reception is for the guest. I definitely remember the weddings where the bride/groom cared about themselves more than their guests (and cash bars signify to me that the couple wants guest to spend their time/money on them, but the couple didnt make the guests their top priority). I also think there are ways in most weddings to "cut things out" in order to provide a better guest experience. For example, for some more inexpensive venues, people can often bring in their own alcohol. It is only a few hundred dollars to provide a basic bar (wine/beer). If the couple is getting married at an expensive venue and cant afford to provide alcohol, they probably should have picked another venue. Recommendation would be to cut something else out instead (favors, have more basic centerpieces, etc.)

Whether the wedding is a full blown sit down meal or a small cake and punch reception, guests should never have to open their wallets when they are attending an event that they have been invited to. It's why I would imagine that there weren't price tags for each slice of cake or cup of punch at the cake and punch receptions 50+ years ago. The food and drink served may have changed with the times, but the overall idea of fully hosting your guests has not.

Why not stop at a cash bar, why not make guests pay for their meal too? (insert sarcasm here)

I asked my mom, she said when she got married in 1977, they kept costs down by having a small home wedding, but with a food and wine.

Me and my FH are doing a cash bar. We don't feel it's necessary to provide alcoholic drinks for capable adults. We are already providing dinner, and unlimited water, juice, soda, etc as well as a desert bar, cake, champaigne pour, and all of the other mess that go into weddings. So I don't feel it's necessary to provide alcohol to people. I personally don't drink and don't wish to see sloppy drunk people at my wedding. I invited you to come and celebrate our union. Not to get hammered. I think if people want to drink they can purchase their own drinks.

Your opinion, but honestly if my guest are going to complain about me having a cash bar I don't want them attending my wedding in the first place. Because it is a wedding, not a nightclub.

Guest are there to celebrate with you. If EVERYTHING else is being provided, you paying a drink shouldn't be a problem. After all this is a wedding. A lot of you are talking as if you are seriously HOSTING a PARTY. The reception is to celebrate and thank all of your guest for coming. If they are really there for you and to celebrate YOU, having to pay for a drink should not dictate whether or not you had a good time.

Then you probably shouldn't go to the wedding. It is your choice to provide all of those things, it's not being asked of you. You go to a nightclub and buy drinks all night, pay for transportation, admission and maybe even parking. And all of that for no reason than to have a good time. If you are coming to celebrate my union and you have a problem with purchasing your own ALCOHOLIC beverage (since all other beverages are FREE) you are being fed, you are getting gifts and favors for coming, ect then don't come to my wedding. It's tacky to come to somebody WEDDING where you are celebrating a union and complain about having to buy a drink. You're an adult, not a college FRAT, you can go 6 hours without consuming alcohol and if not then buy it yourself.

I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar before. I wouldn't necessarily be offended by a cash bar, but as a guest, I would definitely need to know this information in advance. Maybe this is abnormal, but I have never brought cash with me to a wedding before. Usually just my ID and maybe a credit card in case of emergencies, but I've been to 12 weddings in the past 3 years and I can honestly say I've never brought cash with me a single time. So I would need to be informed that there was going to be a cash bar in advance, so that I could plan to bring $$ for drinks!! This seems like information that would need to go on your wedding website

It is rude because your guests are taking the time out of their day, money or gifts out of their pocket for your gifts, travel, and wedding attire. They are celebrating YOUR marriage, and they should be properly treated. It's kind of like inviting people over to your home for dinner and making them pay you for a glass of wine or a beer. If the bride and groom cannot afford alcohol for every guest, they need to either save up more money or cut their guest list down. It's just the hard truth.

I have no problem with cash bars, if we are notified ahead of time so I can stock up my purse I have been to two wedding with cash bars and enjoyed them both. One I paid, one I brought my own discretely.

I am against cash bars because to me, you are basically expecting guests to help pay for your wedding. Everyone in the restaurant business will tell you that the bar makes a lot of money, and without it, many restaurants cannot survive. So having a cash bar basically means your guests are subsidizing the wedding.

And to say that anyone does a cash bar to prevent people from getting drunk is ridiculous. Professional bar staff can handle that.

I say it depends on the type of wedding number and type of people. I have been to weddings where an open bar was a recipe for disaster and bad behavior. I have seen it where an open bar made no difference and the guests handled it well. My FH family are not big drinkers. I have a few people on my side that if we invite them, will probably get wasted. We are having a smaller wedding - 70 people. We are discussing a limited open bar, i.e. unlimited soda, lemonade, tea, coffee and we will pay for the first $500 of xbeer and xwine along with a few of our favorite hard liquors.