Case of the Ex

My ex will not only be invited to our wedding, we will be standing with me as my Man of Honor

I think it really depends on how things ended and if you’re still friends. I personally wouldn’t, but thats because my ex was incredibly abusive. I know people who are still very close with their exes even after both have been married to different people. It just depends I guess.

This is totally a case-by-case thing.

My main Ex?

Evil, terrible human being whose only purpose at any event of mine would be to goad my friends to violence. So, uh, no.
DH has met one of the others, he's from my circle of college friends. I declined to invite any of them, though, as we've really drifted apart.

DH's exes?

Lovely ladies, I've met one, and while she DID make me feel a bit inferior (she's a *literal ROCKET SCIENTIST*, so, uh, yeah - first time in my life I actually watched the thought, "well, I'M PRETTIER" cross my mind... strange sensation), I would have been fine with her attending. The other one I haven't met, but I think she's married with kids? So, again, yeah.

On the OTHER hand, my dad's ex, aka my mother, was invited, didn't attend, and everyone thought this was the best outcome.

It's so subjective.

Was the relationship healthy? Have both moved on? Was the breakup amicable? Were the two able to find a friendship without baggage? Are they still in a friend circle that's close enough to invite?

And, finally, how does the future spouse feel about it?

We each had 2 exes we had seen for at least 2 years each. Turns out his, like mine, were perfectly nice people, and the break-ups were a matter of either becoming bored after the novelty wore off, or because we wanted different things long term, and would not go through a lot of tough years for a reward that wasn't what we wanted. In love a long while, but not an enduring love. Then 2 were married, 2 engaged. To people we knew. We still see them, a couple times a year with spouses and kids, old best friends. Neither of us is a jealous type. So with ni e people and amicable break-ups, why not?

None of our exes will be in attendance at our wedding, there's no reason that they need to be there in our opinions and our situations.

I agree with Rebecca about the circumstances surrounding the relationship with the person and the ex being important. For instance, I technically had an ex there. But it was someone who was my 1st "boyfriend" in 8th grade, and we have been friends for nearly 20 years.

It depends on the situation and relationship dynamics. None of our exes will be present because we don't have a relationship with any of them.

Now I've seen weddings where the person getting married had a child with someone else. They had a great co-parenting dynamic and the ex AND the ex's partner were both there. So it's possible!

I would feel very icky having someone at my wedding, other than my husband, who I have had sex with.

I guess we have a very rare situation. My best friend in the entire world is my ex of 5 years. We live together for nearly all of that time. We had everything in common, I got along great, Brianne a household seamlessly together, and only had one argument the entire 5 years we were together. But, it became apparent to both of us, that although we loved each other and were the most incredible friends, we just weren’t into each other romantically anymore. I am Incredibly close with his entire family (parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins, second cousins), which I think made it even harder for us to finally admit that we didn’t work as a romantic couple. Luckily, we were both mature adults about it. It was super hard no longer living together and super awkward when we first started dating other people. I’m so thankful we pushed through those awkward times, because now more than 10 years later, we are best friends and honorary family. Until I moved in with my fiancé (in another state), we had dinner together at least once a week. We also had weekly Netflix binges at one of our houses. my fiancé and I were a long distance, but when he would come to St. Louis to visit me, we would almost always get together with my ex. My fiancé always trusted us together 100%, And has formed a friendship with him. Now that my ex has a long-term girlfriend, we have done many, many double dates with them. My fiancé has actually said the only other person he would trust with my life would be my ex ❤️ My ex will he attending our wedding with his girlfriend, and he will be standing with me as my man of honor. It’s funny, it all seems so normal to us, but then when people find out my man of honor is my ex, they are completely shocked or weirded out LOL

View Quoted Comment That was a great way to put it Tone!

View Quoted Comment Okay thabks for sharing Yasmine. May I ask, do you get along with your stepsons mom?

View Quoted Comment Hi Hannah, thanks for sharing. I suspect many would agree to this logic.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sgaring, Shelly. Thank you for your positive posts and being helpful in these discussions.

View Quoted Comment Oh wow! I never thought of it in that way. I'm sure there are others who feel the same way as you. Thanks for sharing

View Quoted Comment

She's not in the picture, we have full custody of him she hasn't seen him in years. But before that, yes we got along & there never were any problems. But my husband has ALWAYS had him so there was no room for problems both fortunately and unfortunately for him.

My exes were horrible but 2 of my FH's that we're friends with are on our guest list. One of them was seen as "the one that got away" but when he met me, it was clear that they just didn't fit. She and I have our own personal relationship as well. The other one remained friends with him after they dated in college. Both are very sweet and nice and support our relationship fully. I have no problems with them being there.

(My family would jump them if they tried something funny so there's also that, LOL)

View Quoted Comment Lol! It's nice to have a family that doesn't tolerate nonsense.

My husband and i are friends with his ex. she was invited. i mean i know it's kind of weird to think about but we're all friends, it's sometimes just so hard to cut someone out of your life entirely especially if it didn't end for any bad reasons.

my ex however is the worst person on earth so he is definitely someone i'd hope to never see again.

View Quoted Comment Hi Melle, thanks for sharing.

There will be no ex's at our wedding