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Concetta
Super March 2020

Can’t stop fighting

Concetta, on February 5, 2020 at 8:20 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15
My fiancée and i moved in together in October we’ve had little fights here and there but now we are one month out until the wedding and lately we have been getting into huge blow outs just about every week .... I’m starting to think to call off the wedding

15 Comments

Latest activity by Concetta, on February 6, 2020 at 11:08 AM
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Rockstar March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Can you quickly see a counselor? Wedding stress is real. We had a few spats but a major blow-out the week of our wedding... he questioned getting married. 😩 But we talked it out and had an amazing wedding and going on three great years of marriage.
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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    I do not think he will be willing to see one... but our fights aren’t even about the wedding! What about you?
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Rockstar March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    We fought quite a bit the first year of living together. Fortunately we lived together for 3 years before getting married.


    Sometimes our spats were about the wedding but other times the wedding stress leaked into something else. what are your fights about?
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    We currently go to couples therapy and it works. It's an adjustment to live together, its not easy. Depends on what you're fighting about and if it's something you two can get past
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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    Maybe it is just being together all the time then ? He has this thing he will ask me a question, and does not take my answer... yesterday I put cheese on the table he said he didn’t want it because it’s from when we first moved in I said no it’s not he said yes it is I was with you when we got it I said Karim I do the food shopping alone and clean the fridge how will you know it’s the same he said it’s the same kind like I don’t understand ..... the florist asked for more money it was just the second payment he said we already paid her 3 times I said no just the deposit he said no check the statements I said hello I’m the one who makes the payments long story and a fight later I was correct ... I don’t understand he is just so hard headed I can’t deal with it. When we argue it’s like war he says things that he knows will hurt my feelings and than layer on oh I just said that because I know what will get to you
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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    We fight about the stupidest things he says I give an attitude... he says rude comments and things but if I say than I’m evil
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    If you are comfortable with moving forward I would postpone the wedding and seek counseling before getting married. If you’re fighting now; getting married doesn’t make it any better.
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  • Jai
    VIP May 2020
    Jai ·
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    As hard as it is, its important to respect each other. I always make it a point to apologize, especially if it is hurtful. Maybe if you or him dont understand what the other is saying trying asking "what do you mean by that", so it doesnt come off as giving an attitude. I'm sure u guys will work through it. A month before the wedding sounds stressful. We are 92 days out!
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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    It could definitely be stress from the wedding. It’s expensive and stressful and could be making him snappy. But also sometimes it’s hard to live with someone and it’s not a situation you want to stay in. I left 2 boyfriends after we moved in together and almost left my husband after we moved in together (this was 3 years ago before we were even engaged) but we worked through it and we’re really happy. My friend wouldn’t live with her husband til after they were married and I think she’s really regretting it. She’s in marriage counseling after less than a year and pretty miserable. I think postponing the wedding and going to counseling is a really good idea. And if you work it out, that’s wonderful and you’ll know for sure you made the right choice.
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    This doesn't sound like a wedding stress issue to me, this sounds like a basic communication error. I would highly recommend couples therapy. Fights in any relationship are going to happen, but one should fight "fair".


    I personally would be hesitant to move forward with a partner who talked to me the way your describing. I'd want to work on our communication skills first.
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  • D
    Dedicated July 2020
    D ·
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    I’m sure the wedding is adding to both of your stress levels but communication is still so so important. Maybe the two of you need to sit down and have a serious heart to heart. Ultimately, even though you’re frustrated now you both chose to start this processes of getting married. I don’t know you but I’m sure you love each other and you make a great team...but teams need to work hard every day to make it work. The best of luck to you. I hope everything works out for you two!
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  • M
    Dedicated October 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I completely agree. Calling your SO “evil” is a huge red flag, as is unwillingness to seek counseling. If he’s not willing to go, you need to go on your own. If my partner spoke to me the way you described, I would have serious reservations about still being in a relationship with them.
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  • L
    Super October 2020
    Leslie ·
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    Name calling is a big red flag to me. I would have a serious talk about communication. If you can’t have it before marriage, it won’t get any better. I left a man that called me an F b. Started out once and awhile and then more often. It was daily and multiple times a day. It such a lack of respect. Same with the blame thing. Talk and see if you can settle down.

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  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    So I think when you live together, you really start to learn how you argue. More than when you are just in a relationship because it is harder to get space. My FH and I have lived together for a year plus and we don't really fit much, so when we do it is over big things and needs to be addressed. We both take time to cool down, then discuss.


    My mom and stepdad on the other hand fight like cats and dogs. They fight over the smallest things and are both so stubborn. What works for them, is they basically use each day as a reset. If they fight yesterday wasn't over something important, they both let it go. The seriously fought over the placement of the trash can they other day... They have a great strong relationship and this is part of it as crazy as that sounds to me.


    You guys need to figure out how to fight.


    I agree with PP. Name calling is never acceptable. I also have made it very clear to my FH that cussing during a fight is not acceptable to me. I find that disrespectful.

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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    Hi everyone, I am sorry for the miscommunication I meant I am the evil one like the bad guy, not that he calls me evil.... but I appreciate you all giving me your suggestion and taking time to advise me Smiley smile

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