Can't Pick Wedding Date Until We Know Where We're Living - Sorry Long Post

You definitely don’t have to invite all your cousins if you’re not close... destination wedding or not. If anyone says something you can just say it was a small wedding and you couldn’t afford to invite everyone!


Also agree with what you learned from your friend’s experience, it is MUCH easier to plan a wedding that is local to where you currently live. I originally wanted a destination wedding and I’m so glad I didn’t.

Good luck to your fiancé with his job search! Try not to stress about the wedding yet... you know you’re going to marry him, just let him focus on getting a job and then everything else will fall into place

Hey Kayla! I 100% agree with literally everything you said. The destination wedding thing sounds really fun and I agree that you would get out of inviting extended family. Have you considered having your wedding in Hawaii regardless of if you will live there? IDK could be a fun idea!

If I were you, I would totally wait until you find out where you guys might be moving. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a long engagement and waiting.. you have the rest of your lives together regardless if you have the title of husband wife!! Plus a long engagement means you can save up some money and do whatever you want! Especially if you go with a more expensive route (like a destination wedding could be)

It's pretty hard to start planning without knowing where. You could get a theme and overall vibe down. You could do some decor, but I understand wanting to wait on that too. You could start with a guest list, one for an at home wedding, and one for destination (yours AND his side). Maybe that will help your dilemma a bit too!

THIS is why we are doing a DW. We are going to have ours in Kauai in 50 days (ahhh!!!)

We decided to have only immediate family, and paid for everyone's travel & accommodations instead of a big reception party. Anyone who asks us I just tell them that we only invited immediate family because we wanted an intimate wedding.

My sister is having a wedding in our hometown Dallas, and it's at the end of this year. I'm helping her out and I'm getting stressed out for her wedding because there are so many venues she needs to meet, see, talk, etc. I am incredibly happy we are doing something small and you should definitely consider it!

We are having a destination wedding in Sedona, Arizona. The planning has been done entirely through email, phonecalls and by submitting photos to the vendors. I can say, it is insanely expensive but easier to deal with in my opinion. I had no desire to meet with vendors and go over countless options. This gave me the opportunity to pick from an approved vendor list and hand them my ideas. We are paying for SOME of the lodging but even that has cost upwards of 6K (7 rooms for 3 nights) for an intimate wedding. While Sedona is a popular place, Hawaiian Island resorts are not cheap and very similar to resort costs in Sedona or Scottsdale. I'd even argue that Denver and Portland are pretty pricey as well. You can get cheap hotel rooms in Hawaii but they aren't too great. Also, airfare can range from $600 to $1400 depending on time of year. Food is expensive and in most cases, guests would need transportation and extra cash for whatever activities they want to do. My point is, paying for lodging won't make a cheap trip by any means. I stayed with a friend on Oahu and still spent 3k! Many guests may not be able to afford that type of luxury. So if you want a super small wedding then absolutely go with Hawaii. I just worry that even with you offering up rooms, this puts a financial burden on you and also on your guests. So I think you need to ask yourself how much money you are really willing to put out on hotels for even a small wedding, and if you are okay with people not being able to make it due to poor health or finances. I lived in Hawaii for two years and it would make a beautiful wedding location no doubt. I would just worry about the real and unforseen costs and family members not being able to make it.

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Gen,

I rarely see my cousins and I know they still expect to be invited. As do my aunts and uncles who joke "Wow a destination wedding! I'll have to start saving now!" I feel like if it is in MN, I have no excuse for not inviting them, and even if I told them it is small, they will be incredibly offended. I suppose I just have to deal with it? We're not close anyway and I offended them by going to a public vs a private school so maybe there is no rectifying the situation xD

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Hi Michaela,

We are considering a dw still, but knowing how much my friend has stressed with just a 6 hr driving distance gives me anxiety about planning a wedding across the ocean. We've never been to HI but we know that would be practical for most of my family who do not have passports. GREAT idea on two different guest lists - I'll start working on that!

Andrea,

Kaui is SO BEAUTIFUL! I hope it all goes perfect - I would prefer a smaller wedding anyway. My family and FH's family have been very supportive of our relationship and they take care of us well. I would love to return the favor and treat them to a dw/vacation!

Hi Jennifer,

I appreciate your insight! I know it is expensive but have never been to HI myself. I suppose the same aesthetic and relaxation could be achieved in FL or somewhere along the gulf. I will begin looking into dw wedding options in the continental US, which I may be able to start planning sooner rather than later if we picked a spot. It wouldn't matter where we moved (unless we move to HI and fly back for a FL wedding!? xD) if we were able to commit to a date and location! Thanks!