Cancelling wedding

We’ve tried to come up with a few ways to downsize like going with apps instead of a sit down meal or cutting the guest list, but if we are cutting half the list might as well cut the whole thing right.

Unfortunately, I truly feel this will become a common thing for brides whose weddings were significantly affected by the pandemic. A lot of people chose to have very small weddings or just go to the courthouse, with the intentions of having a big reception at a later date. More and more we are hearing of brides who regret that decision. After all the time, stress and money spent on the small ceremony, plus the added stress with the pandemic, it’s hard to get excited to plan another event; especially when you know you are already married. I think mentally it becomes just a party; the excitement and emotional connection to it is lost, making it hard to want to invest any real money in it. But, on the other hand, these brides were robbed of so many aspects of their weddings, and the reception is their chance to try to recover some of those experiences. It’s a horrible catch 22, and my heart goes out to everyone in that situation. If I were you, I would just sit down and truly think about what is most important to you at this point in your life. If you feel having a reception now would be a waste of money that could be going towards a house for you and your new husband, maybe you could plan a vow renewal for your 5 year anniversary.

I totally understand the logic of wanting to save money but it also sounds to me like even though trying to do a cost-effective wedding is in the long run going to be less stress I honestly feel from what you written is that if you don't have the big ceremony you're going to miss out on even like special things that you have had. Also I would take into account that your bridal party did by dresses they have gotten a chance to wear. Is it the financial burden that is stressing you out about having the reception?

We eloped and still plan for a party with all of the things this next August. But, if that can't happen I am not postponing again. I plan on keeping the photographer and just wearing my dress so we can get nice pictures taken. I didn't get to wear my dress for my wedding and we didn't get any pictures either.

Both the financial burden and the stress of having to plan it again. We planned the first time, postponed and then planned a whole second elopement with all new vendors. Now we are trying to make it smaller and save a little money.

Instead of a big wedding, can you have a photoshoot with your wedding party and family? You and bridesmaids can wear your dresses, can do a first dance with husband and dad, cut a cake, etc. While you would still lose some of your deposits, you’d get to recreate some of the moments you missed and get the more glamorous pics without having to hold the big event. You could all go to eat afterwards, and this would likely be much cheaper than hosting a second wedding.

At this point just go through with it! We're in the same boat and are just going forward with it. We looked to see if there were things we could do to consolidate and save money where we could.

Honestly, you are going to have to decide if it is worth it to you to lose the money that you put down on deposits. If you do decide to cancel, I would say that you should reimburse your friends that bought their bridesmaids dresses as it isn't their fault the decision to cancel the wedding was made therefore they shouldn't be out money they spent. Personally, I would go through with it. If you want to save on costs, eliminate things like favors, programs, etc. But don't serve just appetizers like you've mentioned in previous posts.

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I completely agree with this! You should get to have your moment with your dress and beautiful pictures that you can look fondly on.

I also agree with Veronica; if you do decide to cancel, I would offer to reimburse your bridesmaids for their expenses. We nearly cancelled ourselves, and I was prepared to cover those costs if so.