Cancelling the Wedding

Calling off or postponing?

Also I am really sorry

I mean I should have expected it, he literally never cared about any of it. Any time I brought it up he just sighed and rubbed his eyes like I was giving him a headache.

Do you think maybe he is just frustrated and giving him a little time of not talking about wedding planning that he’ll want to proceed with the set date? With all of the deposits and whatnot it would be costly to reschedule a wedding.

Do you still want to marry him?

I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now.

If you are postponing, check with all your vendors see if they are willing to move your deposit's to a different date (see when they all have opening's). That way you don't lose out on the money, and you don't have to stress for the future date, since it is all planned. You're just assigning a different timeline.

Omg, I’m so sorry you’re experiencing that. Thank goodness he told you now and not even more of a last minute. Still, I can agree, it is frustrating and humiliating. Hmmm if I were you, I would probably notify people by mail. With A phonecall, many of my loved ones wouldn’t let me off the phone so they can ask questions.

I'm so sorry to hear this! Has he said how long he wants to wait? I ask because we had to postpone our date, mostly for financial reasons, but also my father's health took a sharp decline, and we weren't sure what was going to happen. Luckily, the vendors we had already booked and paid deposits for had the new date available, and they didn't charge us anything to change it. Our deposits just transferred over to the new date. We pushed it out like 10 months, so it was a long postponement.

So, maybe he's just getting nervous, and needs a little more time. Not every guy is into the whole wedding scene. He might get anxious over being the center of attention. So much of our focus is on how we feel as brides. But it's important to remember that guys have feelings too, and insecurities, anxiety, etc. If you haven't already, see if you can talk to him and get to the bottom of this in terms of his real reasons for wanting to wait. Maybe a little bit of couples counseling or pre-marital counseling might help.

It was really embarrassing at first having to tell our family and friends that we were postponing, but I shouldn't have been worried at all. Everyone was really supportive, and totally understood where we were coming from. Some even praised us for being wise enough to know we needed more time.

So, if it's really just a postponement, check with your vendors, and see what you can work out with them. I think most vendors will want to work with you on a new date, rather than lose your business altogether. Good luck.

I’m sorry to hear this. If you’re postponing the wedding you can go ahead and try to negotiate with your vendors and use them for a later time, a year or two after. If you’re canceling well there’s an option to try to sell the date. See if your vendors offer this so if another bride is interested and gets that date you can get your deposit back.
As far as announcing the wedding is off I don’t know what you’ll be comfortable with. I wouldn’t send a card or note in the mail. I say maybe call everyone but that brings tons of questions and uncomfortable conversations.
Good luck

Sorry you’re postponing, I’m sure it’s a difficult situation but it’s one you two can handle together now that feelings are out in the open. Like PPs said there may be the possibility of using your deposits towards your future date so I would contact them and ask. I’ve seen some examples of cards on WW people have sent out in similar situations after they’ve sent save the dates or invites but moved or cancelled just letting people know that plans have changed. If you hadn’t sent out save the dates or anything I would just tell people via phone, text, in person etc since the wedding that wasn’t formally communicated.

I'm so sorry. That's got to be extremely hard! Keep your head up! Maybe talk to Jim and find out why so you can explain it to people

Have you sent invitations yet? If not I don’t think you necessarily need to contact people, it will get out by word of mouth and it save you some of your dignity without having to explain to people. If you do feel you need to contact people, maybe ask your mom or a close friend to do it for you?

I'm sorry. Do you know if he wants to postpone because he is hesitant to get married, or because he is anxious about a large, formal wedding? If this issue is the wedding itself - rather than being married - you might want to scale back the wedding and plan something that he is comfortable with.

View Quoted Comment We’re having a very small wedding, less than 60 people. I don’t know..

My FH and I had everything set too and then sat down one day and decided everything we were planning felt rushed and not us. We currently live an hour apart and both have our dream jobs so we have been having a difficult time deciding on where we want to live. We decided that we would rather postpone the wedding a year and give us time to figure out where we will buy a house and give one of us time to find a job than to spend time apart while we were married. I was very embarrassed at first to tell everyone but I’m the end we made the best decision for us and everyone was super supportive. And now we are planning our dream destination wedding in the mountains. Talk to him and see what he’s feeling and why he wants to postpone. Don’t be embarrassed because if it’s whats best then others will be supportive

I’m so sorry to hear this! My cousin dated this very nice lady. Unfortunately things didn’t work out between them just weeks before the wedding. She sent a hand written card to everyone stating how sorry she was it didn’t work out she hoped that we understood that sometimes life changes paths and that she was returning the bridal shower gift we bought her. It was sad to see her go but I thought that was so brave of her.

Again, I’m very sorry to hear this, you can always vent to me I’m a good listener!!

Best wishes!!

I’m so sorry. I’m sure you are feeling every emotion there is. My first engagement I had to call off the wedding. I did it via text and ask for privacy as I sort through my life.

I read in another post that most of your relationship has been long distance and that you have only spent about 3 months actually together. Do you think its just too soon for him? I understand the desire to be wed (my first husband and I only knew each other 13 days in person before marrying so I get it), but perhaps he just needs time to adjust? Has he told you why he wants to put the wedding off?

Update! After a lot of crying, fussing, fighting, arguing, and eventually talking, the wedding is finally back on schedule.