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Savvy September 2022

Cancelling Big Wedding

jessiematt, on February 6, 2020 at 9:42 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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I've been mulling over the idea of cancelling our big wedding and having a smaller one (or eloping) with just very close friends and family. I just got out of the hospital after a near death experience and I've honestly had a change of heart about the whole thing. Or if I'll even be up for it physically. At this point our wedding is a month away. Fiance and I are okay with taking a loss on the deposits and everything we've gotten so far. The only thing is that I'm sure people have bought plane tickets already. If you were in the position of our guests, what would make you feel better? What could I offer? Send them a gift? Most if not all of our guests are aware of my recent health scare so I think/hope most would be understanding.

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Latest activity by jessiematt, on February 7, 2020 at 12:37 AM

Expert February 2020
Tanyia · on February 6, 2020 at 9:52 PM
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As a guest, I would be upset if I spent $ on an airline ticket/pre-booked hotel/rental car. HOWEVER, you are the bride/groom so do what you feel comfortable with, regardless of your near-death experience.
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Savvy September 2022
jessiematt · on February 6, 2020 at 10:01 PM
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Would a gift help? I don't feel comfortable making all of my guests who are family and friends upset. This is why I'm asking.
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Expert February 2020
Givemeallthepups · on February 6, 2020 at 10:23 PM
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A gift would not help if I had spent a couple hundred dollars on non-refundable flights. I think this point it’s probably best to continue with what you’ve got planned honestly.
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Savvy September 2022
jessiematt · on February 6, 2020 at 10:55 PM
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Okay thank you. I wanted honest opinions. We did do a hotel buyout for the wedding so if we kept the reservation so guests could still stay there would that be better? They'd still get a vacation just no wedding.
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Master August 2021
Jasmine · on February 6, 2020 at 10:57 PM
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I personally would be upset at first but at the same time, your health is also very important. You want to look and feel your best on what's supposed to be one of the best days of your life. I wouldn't expect anything in return for cancelling. It's unfortunate that it's so close to your date but no matter what you choose I hope everything is well with you.
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Dedicated July 2020
D · on February 6, 2020 at 11:31 PM
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I’m so sorry for your recent experience. I hope you are doing better. Im sure your friends and family will understand your situation. I know the road to physical and emotional healing can be hard after a life altering event. Just a thought. Have you considered having your small wedding but possibly still having a reception with everyone you already invited. Even if you only stay at your own reception for a short time it might make everyone’s trip not be in vein. As you continue to recover you may regret not celebrating with everyone you had originally planned.
I hope you have peace with whatever you decide!
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Dedicated April 2021
Jodie · on February 7, 2020 at 12:27 AM
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Oh man that is a tough one. But when it comes down to it, your health comes first and I would hope your guests understand. Take care of yourself and good luck with whatever you choose
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Savvy September 2022
jessiematt · on February 7, 2020 at 12:37 AM
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Thank you! It has been hard and I wish I had more time to deal with everything. Just having a reception could work. Thanks for the suggestion!
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