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kala&isha
Dedicated November 2019

Cancelled

kala&isha, on September 30, 2019 at 3:10 PM Posted in Planning 0 18
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So recently my fiancé grew ill, he has PTSD and is an Iraq vet. As a result we had to cancel our wedding 40 days out....

has anyone been in this scenario and was able to recoup any of the funds? I know most of it will be out the window.

I don’t think I want to postpone because after recent events most of our family and friends are no longer very supportive of our union. It’s a pretty sad situation to have transpired over 3 days .... 4 days after our bridal shower. Definitely embarrassing to say the least.

Any words of encouragement or insight is appreciated

18 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on October 16, 2019 at 4:45 PM
  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag
    PTSD is a medical condition, and I’m not sure how that should mean that you need to cancel your wedding. I know that can be a very difficult thing to work through, but if he’s really suffering don’t you want to be there to support him? I can’t gather whether you’re just ending the engagement or the relationship altogether, but I don’t see why you would change your mind because of what your family thinks. Obviously you don’t need to share all the details, but if this all just happened I would take a few days to really think things through.

    I’m really sorry you’re going through all this. Unfortunately things happen and we have to change our plans as not everything is in our control. Some vendors will give you some of your money back, but being that the day is so close I wouldn’t expect much. The best you can do is call and let them know you need to cancel due to a medical emergency and hope they are willing to work things out with you. I hope your fiancé gets the help he needs, and you as well.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I would just draft an honest email to vendors and explain the situation, then ask if there is anyway to get back all or even some of the funds. Maybe offer to see if you can contact other brides (via Facebook, bridal groups, etc.) to get your dates booked?

    • Reply
  • kala&isha
    Dedicated November 2019
    kala&isha ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I am supporting him, we are cancelling the wedding so that we can give attention to his care. We eloped already so I’ll always be here to support him
    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated June 2021
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry you had to cancel your wedding. It doesn't hurt to ask your vendors. Since you're 40 days out (30 days is typically a cut off), maybe you'd get partial refunds?!?

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Smiley sad I am so sorry for all that. I hope you find peace with your decisions soon and I'm sure everything will work out. As for vendors, a lot of them tend to have that type of payment plan where it's like "if you cancel x days before event then you'll recover x amount of money back" . Sending you positive vibes and hugs.
    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Savvy October 2020
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    The fact that you love and support your husband enough to cancel the wedding and give him time to work through things is a really beautiful thing. Weddings are fun, but it’s more about two people pledging to spend the rest of their lives together and it sounds like you already have that. I’m sorry that you had to cancel your wedding, but I’m happy for the love that you and your husband have and I wish you both all of the happiness that this world has to offer.
    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
    • Flag
    I'm engaged to a retired veteran as well. He has ptsd too. I'm not sure why you'd have to cancel everything though. My fiance has physical and mental problems from being in Iraq but I can't think of anything that would cause us to cancel, especially with so much time still left. Not being insensitive, just curious
    • Reply
  • kala&isha
    Dedicated November 2019
    kala&isha ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Every case is different I don’t intend to disclose more than I did, however I will say his care he needs is intensive.
    • Reply
  • kala&isha
    Dedicated November 2019
    kala&isha ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much, that truly means the world to me. It’s definitely been a difficult time for us
    • Reply
  • kala&isha
    Dedicated November 2019
    kala&isha ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much! I’ve already settled for the loss of money, but honestly money can be made back. However, he can’t be replaced so I’ll cut my losses if I have to
    • Reply
  • Da Mom
    August 2022
    Da Mom ·
    • Flag

    I am sorry you are dealing with a lot right now. Sounds like you're doing the right thing and putting your efforts into his care and recovery. Review your contracts with each vendor and contact them right away to let them know you are cancelling. With this short notice, they most likely will be unable to back fill your date, and therefore you might not get much if anything in the way of refunds. But be honest and hopefully you'll recoup something. Best of luck to you and your husband - thank you to him for his service.

    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I hope he feels better soon
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Savvy August 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    That is so sad. At least you have each other though! Did you think of keeping the reception as a celebration of your elopement? That might kind of at least mean the money was used for something nice.
    • Reply
  • kala&isha
    Dedicated November 2019
    kala&isha ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much, that’s the mindset I’m hoping to have Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Desiree
    Super March 2020
    Desiree ·
    • Flag

    Thoughts and prayers for you, my dear Smiley heart This all sound so sad and so rough, I'm terribly sorry you both are going through this. I would agree, do rough draft for your vendors and venue about what happened. I hate to say it, but if you hit them with the honest truth, even if it might sound like a sob story, they may feel for you and even be able to relate. (You never know what someone else has been through too.) They may be able to help you.. Always give it your all. But nevertheless, I wish you both happiness and good health for years to come Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • mrsaj2b
    Master October 2019
    mrsaj2b ·
    • Flag

    First very sorry for the issues that have caused this. I hope he gets better soon and stays well permanently. I've had to postpone my wedding a few times very close to the event date due to my fiance's medical issues. However, we postponed each time and are vendors were super awesome to either roll what we had paid to the new date or consider us paid in full with the new date. If we had cancelled, I think we would not have recouped anything. It would have been too close to the date to do so by our contracts. I should say with the last postponement the caterer and the florist did issue us a partial refund.

    This time around I only retained three of the previous vendors I had been using. I really was too embarrassed although I had no reason to be because it was a serious illness that caused the postponements but I just couldn't go back to them. As to guests, yeah sure, it was hard to say the wedding was off but they were very supportive and just wanted my fiance to get well.

    Your true friends and the best of your family will support you and your fiance. Take care of the both of you and hopefully you will be back on WW planning again in the not so distant future.

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Dedicated March 2021
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Only you and your husband know why you had to cancel the wedding due to his illness and that should not be something up for scrutiny. I’m hoping not only your husband gets the supports and help he needs but that you also get it as well during this time where you may feel helpless! Sending positivity and hope your way!
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Super July 2020
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    All I can say is that I truly wish you both the best. I pray his recovery is a speedy one and also I will pray for your strength in time because you are going to need it. No amount of money will ever be quite to his health and the happiness of you both. I send you Love and Light sis.

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